c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 1 long story short
My wife manager is 越南女的
My wife manager gave her a low rate on last year review.
my wife gave her managr a low rate on last year review in return.
2 months ago, her manager assigned tasks to her that was impossible to
complete. My
wife communicated vs email with her manager asked for more time. I don't
know what her manager response in the email. My wife forwarded the email to
her personal account as a record that migh be needed in the future.
Yesterday, her manger told my wife that she failed to deliver and should
resign. My wife was anger, and told me that she was going to start a legal
figh.
Today, her manager started a 心理战，told my wife she has to go to work on
time, and report daily status. After the meeting, my wife 心理大失一段, 斗志
全失, determinded to resign next week.
It is understandable that my wife 心理大失一段, 斗志
全失, determind to resign next week.
It extremely hard for an employee try to keep a fight with a manager.
Because
the manager has power over the employee.
My suggestions.
1. Resign next week
2. take a break
3. ask labour lawyer to evaluate the case,
4 make the decision about the actions to take.
Are there better options? |
b**********5
发帖数: 7881 | 2 I think u should consult a lawyer first. I don't really think ur wife has a
case...
I think ur wife should document everything, especially the low reviews she
wrote about her mgr, consult a lawyer and see what to do
to
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: long story short
: My wife manager is 越南女的
: My wife manager gave her a low rate on last year review.
: my wife gave her managr a low rate on last year review in return.
: 2 months ago, her manager assigned tasks to her that was impossible to
: complete. My
: wife communicated vs email with her manager asked for more time. I don't
: know what her manager response in the email. My wife forwarded the email to
: her personal account as a record that migh be needed in the future.
: Yesterday, her manger told my wife that she failed to deliver and should
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 3 That is what I think.
So. Take a break first.
Because She 心理大失一段, 斗志全失. At the meantime, I think to fight is not
a good option. most likely 认栽了.
a
【在 b**********5 的大作中提到】
: I think u should consult a lawyer first. I don't really think ur wife has a
: case...
: I think ur wife should document everything, especially the low reviews she
: wrote about her mgr, consult a lawyer and see what to do
:
: to
|
b**********5
发帖数: 7881 | 4 That depends on ur wife. I think ur wife can flat out quit, or continue to
work while consult a lawyer and then decide what to do
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: That is what I think.
: So. Take a break first.
: Because She 心理大失一段, 斗志全失. At the meantime, I think to fight is not
: a good option. most likely 认栽了.
:
: a
|
b**********5
发帖数: 7881 | 5 Also, my "wife" is a HR director. She mentioned that if an employee goes to
a doctor, get a doctor's note saying she has migraine, or carpal tunnel, and
let her mgr know, it would be hard to fire that employee.
not
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: That is what I think.
: So. Take a break first.
: Because She 心理大失一段, 斗志全失. At the meantime, I think to fight is not
: a good option. most likely 认栽了.
:
: a
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 6 Thank you for inside information.
From Thursday ==> Friday, her 心理 changes . I think it is too hard to keep
a fight.
Daily status report to a Hostile manager is too much.
to
and
【在 b**********5 的大作中提到】
: Also, my "wife" is a HR director. She mentioned that if an employee goes to
: a doctor, get a doctor's note saying she has migraine, or carpal tunnel, and
: let her mgr know, it would be hard to fire that employee.
:
: not
|
t****n
发帖数: 313 | 7 这是哪国语言
to
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: long story short
: My wife manager is 越南女的
: My wife manager gave her a low rate on last year review.
: my wife gave her managr a low rate on last year review in return.
: 2 months ago, her manager assigned tasks to her that was impossible to
: complete. My
: wife communicated vs email with her manager asked for more time. I don't
: know what her manager response in the email. My wife forwarded the email to
: her personal account as a record that migh be needed in the future.
: Yesterday, her manger told my wife that she failed to deliver and should
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 8 Daily status report to a Hostile manager is too much.
认栽了. |
b**********5
发帖数: 7881 | 9 这不就是scrum么， 这有什么怕的？
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: Daily status report to a Hostile manager is too much.
: 认栽了.
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 10 Now, 摊牌了. It is a fight.
Fighting in an uneven field at a weak position. An empolyee will feel bad
about
himself/herself
after
talking to a hostile manger who try to find the empolyee's fault in the
communication.
【在 b**********5 的大作中提到】
: 这不就是scrum么， 这有什么怕的？
|
|
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 11 [sick leave] is a better option!
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: Daily status report to a Hostile manager is too much.
: 认栽了.
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 12 My wife worked on two tasks , and worked very hard.
1. web site development. She completed the task two weeks ago. She emailed
the code to a white software engineer who should check in the code. My wife
talked to the enginner Friday(10/16/2015) about the status of the project
and if She caused delay, the engineer said my wife did not caused delay, and
he has checked in the code and he is excited to learn the technogy that my
wife used. M y wife sent an email to comfirm the status. Her manager saw the
email, and got a project manager to over-write the engineer statement. The
project manager and the manager talked to my wife in person. The project
manager said my wife caused delay, and the code was not checked in by 1pm
Friday. my Wife tried to argue. The project manager said You did not
understand, and I repeat one more time.
My wife responsed "I understand what you want to do, you do not need to
repeat."
2. QA automation tool development -- have a couple days of delay, my wife
demo
the project Thurday(10/15/2015).
My conclusion. It is mission impossible to prove that she completed a task.
I think her manager strategic goal -- Caused my wife suffer psychological
pain to force her to resign.
I have two plans
plan 1. strategic goal. -- Stay in put, don't resign, find ways to avoid
seeing the manager.
plan 2. Just resign |
m******3
发帖数: 983 | 13 I when she got a low rate review, that's a signal the company sent that she
should resign voluntarily. Not many will keep working there. |
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 14 My wife wants to put up as much resistance as possible.
Without suffering too much pain.
We don't mind that she lost job.
We know the fight could be
杀敌500, 自损1000
or
杀敌0, 自损1000
our strategy is to show my wife put up resistance.
Her managers wanted her to report status daily. She refused to do that. At
the mean time, She is going to take sick days to see doctor. She is going to
get doctor note to take sick leave.
It is in a 心理战 phrase.
She refused to take her hostile manager order, the Next step is a potential
legal battle. We think that will put some pressure on her manager. |
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 15 My wife prepared, and documented the evidence. However, we feel those
prepare is 不堪一击. because the manage has power. Her manager 颠倒黒白..
We must adjust the way to fight. and fight in a front that shows her
manager is not in full control.
The first step it to show my wife is able to refuse to take her manager
order. |
Y*****2
发帖数: 38613 | 16 Just find another job she loves...
[在 cckyle2001 (cckyle) 的大作中提到：]
：long story short
：My wife manager is 越南女的
：........... |
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 17 That is a valid option.
三十六计，走为上计.
My wife try to put up a meaningful resistance to see how things will go, and
to evaluate [legal battle] option.
She will stay put for one or two more weeks.
then we will determine if she has to choice [走为上计].
【在 Y*****2 的大作中提到】
: Just find another job she loves...
: [在 cckyle2001 (cckyle) 的大作中提到：]
: ：long story short
: ：My wife manager is 越南女的
: ：...........
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 18 本想. 认栽了.
因气愤 and has prepared for a fight. 就 put up a fight.
If we can not gain anythings, We will just let it go--flight. |
F****P
发帖数: 64 | |
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 20 As expected
会有路人看笑话...
【在 F****P 的大作中提到】
: 这英语还出来用。。。。
|
|
|
t****n
发帖数: 313 | 21 没看笑话，根本没看。好好说话不行吗
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: As expected
: 会有路人看笑话...
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 22 弱者有弱者的生存之道.
The purpose of my posts
1. Sharing a story about our struggle 应对强敌, fighting for
fairness at work place.
2. To see if there are good suggestions.
【在 t****n 的大作中提到】
: 没看笑话，根本没看。好好说话不行吗
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 23 Will the fight be [鸡蛋碰石头]?
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: 弱者有弱者的生存之道.
: The purpose of my posts
: 1. Sharing a story about our struggle 应对强敌, fighting for
: fairness at work place.
: 2. To see if there are good suggestions.
|
a*******o
发帖数: 290 | 24 我也没有这方面的经验。不过是不是可以试试给老板的老板，ceo或者其他人发email,
解释你的情形，说你努力工作却受到不合适的对待，很难过之类。说这种行为和公司利
益背道而驰。如果没回音，这个email就可以成为将来的证据。如果有回音，可能就是
内部换组。至少不是一切都在经理的控制之内了。这至少比安静走开要好一点吧？
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: Will the fight be [鸡蛋碰石头]?
|
a*******o
发帖数: 290 | 25 还有，如果要收集证据，尽量不要给自己留下漏洞。比如给IT查到你把公司邮件转发个
人账户。是不是打印出来就够用了？
,
【在 a*******o 的大作中提到】
: 我也没有这方面的经验。不过是不是可以试试给老板的老板，ceo或者其他人发email,
: 解释你的情形，说你努力工作却受到不合适的对待，很难过之类。说这种行为和公司利
: 益背道而驰。如果没回音，这个email就可以成为将来的证据。如果有回音，可能就是
: 内部换组。至少不是一切都在经理的控制之内了。这至少比安静走开要好一点吧？
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 26 Good suggestion.
My wife will talk to HR Wednesday.
She will open a new front to fight, that should put her manager in defense.
The new front will be the major battle, current battle will become a
secondary battle.My wife withdrew to fight current battle by taking sick
days.
不能被牵着鼻子走， 要主动出击.
。至少不是一切都在经理的控制之内了。这至少比安静走开要好一点吧？
【在 a*******o 的大作中提到】
: 还有，如果要收集证据，尽量不要给自己留下漏洞。比如给IT查到你把公司邮件转发个
: 人账户。是不是打印出来就够用了？
:
: ,
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 27 Sum up the case.
My wife manager is mean to my wife. So My wife try to 内部调一个组.
Her manager attacked her, try to fire her.
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: Good suggestion.
: My wife will talk to HR Wednesday.
: She will open a new front to fight, that should put her manager in defense.
: The new front will be the major battle, current battle will become a
: secondary battle.My wife withdrew to fight current battle by taking sick
: days.
: 不能被牵着鼻子走， 要主动出击.
:
: 。至少不是一切都在经理的控制之内了。这至少比安静走开要好一点吧？
|
l*********u
发帖数: 19053 | 28 fight, don't resign.
to
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: long story short
: My wife manager is 越南女的
: My wife manager gave her a low rate on last year review.
: my wife gave her managr a low rate on last year review in return.
: 2 months ago, her manager assigned tasks to her that was impossible to
: complete. My
: wife communicated vs email with her manager asked for more time. I don't
: know what her manager response in the email. My wife forwarded the email to
: her personal account as a record that migh be needed in the future.
: Yesterday, her manger told my wife that she failed to deliver and should
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 29 It seems my wife manager backed down a little.
1.My wife refused to response to her manager emails.
2. She emailed her manager with only email title -- sick out Wednesday,
Thursday, and Friday.
Her manager asked if my wife will come back to work next week.
【在 l*********u 的大作中提到】
: fight, don't resign.
:
: to
|
M***6
发帖数: 895 | 30 看完了。I was wondering why 楼主要一半中文一半英文讲话，而不是全中文或英文。
Is it because most of your Chinese are 成语典故, and hard to translate them
to English？
No offence, 只是好奇。 |
|
|
M***6
发帖数: 895 | 31 看完了。I was wondering why 楼主要一半中文一半英文讲话，而不是全中文或英文。
Is it because most of your Chinese are 成语典故, and hard to translate them
to English？
No offence, 只是好奇。 |
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 32 It is hard for me to type in Chinese.
Write in English is my first choice.
I write in Chinese only when Chinese can better express myself.
them
【在 M***6 的大作中提到】
: 看完了。I was wondering why 楼主要一半中文一半英文讲话，而不是全中文或英文。
: Is it because most of your Chinese are 成语典故, and hard to translate them
: to English？
: No offence, 只是好奇。
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 33 My wife presented the case to HR today. The HR person sounds very nice.
I don't know if it is only 表面现象.
The real test will come Friday. I expect HR will present a solution Friday.
My assessment of the case. major factors HR will consider when they present
a soluion.
1. My wife manager and HR know we don't care about to lost the job.
2. If my wife manager back down, her reputation will be damaged.We don't
know how powerful and important my wife manager is.
3. If my wife manager do not back down, that might lead to a legal battle--
that means HR does not do their job well. We do not know how strong our
evidence are from legal viewpoint.
4.If HR is able to reach a compromised solution- that mean they do a great
job. |
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 34 Round 2
HR and my wife manager was surprised by the way we fight.
1 我们开辟新战场 -- fighting Workplace bullying. Not fighting about the
performance review issues.After reading my wife email complaining about
Workplace bullying, HR person had to say if they said that, that was
unprofessional.Performance review issues is not big enough for a legal
battle.Workplace bullying is.
2. 不能拿工作威胁. My wife manager think my wife will beg her for the job.
That is not the case.
My wife told HR that the reason that she stays in the position is her
manager give her flexible work hours, and promise to let her lead a team.
At the mean time, We are able to fight in an even field. |
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 35 we keep adjusting our fighting strategies and goals. And Did and will do
what we can do.
Whether We Win Or Lose Let It Be. |
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 36 The end game -- coming tonight |
N******2
发帖数: 436 | 37 加油！ 为自己的权利努力！
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: The end game -- coming tonight
|
p********y
发帖数: 5044 | 38 一开始觉得这个帖子是个坑，半英半中不伦不类的，看到后面，没想到还挺有料的！希
望事情发展能转向对楼主老婆有利的方向，我等看客以后遇到这样的事情也可借鉴着处
理 |
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 39 The end game -- flight
HR showed off power today-- They can do what they want to do.
They presented a settlement yesterday.
HR withdrew the settlement after my wife emailed them that She accepted the
settlement this morning.
Our choice: flight. Regroup late to see if legal battle is a good option.
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: The end game -- coming tonight
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 40 I am tired of the fight.so I do not follow the detail of the fight.
After I got more detail information about the status of the fight.
I found 有些正能量 -- I will update the story tonight. |
|
|
c********1
发帖数: 5269 | 41 这几天，情绪低落。
无力多参与老婆与公司的斗争(多参与也用处不大)
只建议 -- 斗不过， 不想斗， 就辞职.
为了关心这事的网友 了解这事的全貌
就提起精神, 再接再厉
My wife said HR 不接受 yesterday. I thought HR 不接受 the settlement. I
asked my wife about the staus today.Here is the status.
1.My wife manager took a step back after my wife put up strong Resistance.
2. What my wife gain: Her manager will not file PIP(performance improvement
plan) against my wife.The fight started when her manager said she was going
to file PIP against my wife.
3.What my wife is fighting for: She wants to [not to report to her manager].
She can not perform when she see her manager.And She can not get over the
problem. HR said that her manager does not accept that. |
p*****y
发帖数: 529 | 42 some suggestions:
1. if a manager wants to fire you, she has hundreds of ways and if she doesn
't make mistake, it is a mission impossible battle for you to fight for STAY.
2. so unless she made serious mistakes, your goal should not be STAY, but
to get yourself enough time to fly. you can seek collateral damage to your
boss but that's something you must ready to give up any time.
3. you should say anything to HR in order to achieve your goal, including
how good the company is so that you want to stay. but don't make yourself
believe that shit. you have to go, 100% certainty.
4. find any mistake of your managers to strike back, the bullying is a good
play but it has to be supported by written evidence like your manager's
email or your colleague's testemony. but remeber, anything you do is to get
yourself to fly. don't lose the focus.
5. never give up. your lost will be limited. the bottomline is that you will
loss your job which you already know. anything else you will achieve is a
plus.
good luck!
improvement
going
【在 c********1 的大作中提到】
: 这几天，情绪低落。
: 无力多参与老婆与公司的斗争(多参与也用处不大)
: 只建议 -- 斗不过， 不想斗， 就辞职.
: 为了关心这事的网友 了解这事的全貌
: 就提起精神, 再接再厉
: My wife said HR 不接受 yesterday. I thought HR 不接受 the settlement. I
: asked my wife about the staus today.Here is the status.
: 1.My wife manager took a step back after my wife put up strong Resistance.
: 2. What my wife gain: Her manager will not file PIP(performance improvement
: plan) against my wife.The fight started when her manager said she was going
|
