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全部话题 - 话题: fart
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d*********n
发帖数: 818
1
This is like tell the GCDs:
Do not fuck women other than your wife. Do not take money other than your
salary.
More useless than a fart: even a fart has a sound and some smell.

),
z*******3
发帖数: 704
2
it does not matter 对薄造成多大威胁, however it does matter 多大威胁薄feel
he will造成.
For example, when mao decision to fuck the top ccp officials is solely based
on that he felt the threat, although the threat may not be there, or not
severe enough to kill one or millions of people.
but in the eye of ruthlessness dictator, a human being's life is a fart.
he would not have any problem to lift his ass a little bit and let it
release.
for mao and bo and many CCP pussies, your, my, and all the shitizen's lives
... 阅读全帖
I*****y
发帖数: 6402
3
来自主题: Military版 - 回国感受之廉价的小白领
you old fart 居然还管北科大叫北钢? well that's why you are an old fart

来。
z*******4
发帖数: 219
4
smelless fart. what else can he fart? give up对日本购岛采取进一步行动权利?
m***k
发帖数: 37
5
How can she fart if his husband gave up and beaten down. She would be a
deadmeat too. I can not only smell her fart, but also her dead meat
x******g
发帖数: 33885
6
来自主题: Military版 - 轮子攻击温州电视台的故事
破案应该不是很难吧?
Friday evening television viewers in Wenzhou, a city in eastern Zhejiang
province, saw their normal programming interrupted by anti-Communist Party
messages.
One message, emblazoned across the top of the screen, declared, "Damn the
Chinese Communist Party's mouthpieces: China Central Television, Peoples'
Daily" -- the first a broadcaster, the latter a newspaper, and both
generally acknowledged to toe the party line -- as well as "the Propaganda
Department and the State Radio and Film ... 阅读全帖
C****t
发帖数: 3813
7
来自主题: Military版 - UA事件中几个要点 (转载)
2. fart, 陶医生 looked intoxicated, as witnessed by others.
3. fart, 800块钱, real money
M***a
发帖数: 97
8
来自主题: Military版 - 还能提高点英语
还能提高点英语。
CNN NEWS ALERT! Trump farted.
Reply
Fox News Alert!! Trump saved the planet,, again,, with a massive fart!
Reply
...stay tuned for continued coverage

发帖数: 1
9
来自主题: Military版 - 抢劫的假新闻来自一个讽刺网站
还有辱华谣言:
Jackie Chan:”Back in the past we used to cough to cover our farts, now we
have to fart to cover our cough”

发帖数: 1
10
来自主题: Military版 - 纽约爆了,+1342,+78%
看看美国人咋说的:
“The first fatality "really brings it home", Lamont said during an
interview on MSNBC. "We don't want Italy to happen in Connecticut,"
Hmmm, actually lots of old farts only hanging on because of big pharma,
massively wasted insurance dollars and your tax dollars covering old age
medicare. The Eskimos had it right. When the old fart could no longer
contribute to the welfare of all, they walked off onto an ice flow to drown.
Guarantees no 88 year olds left to get the Chinese Virus an... 阅读全帖
G*******h
发帖数: 4091
11
I was farting? and you want redo it? So you must be farting now.
a*********a
发帖数: 3656
12
the kid should not be left fighting this alone
the church, the school, the local attorney, the local GOP should help him
and his family fight those SOBs.
the old indian was totally bullying the kid, sticks right into the kids
personal space, beating a drum so close to the kids ear could give him
hearing damage.
If I saw an old fart doing this to my kids, I d interjected and ask the old
fart to f off.
S*********N
发帖数: 6151
13
来自主题: JobHunting版 - 【急问!】4月1日开始OPT。。。

Fart Fart.
You file for this year, you can decide your H1 starting date,
like whatever before the end of your OPT, or you can renew your OPT if
in some specific categories.
h*****k
发帖数: 5022
14
来自主题: NextGeneration版 - Twelve reasons babies cry and how to soothe them
* 1. Hunger
* 2. A dirty diaper
* 3. Needs sleep
* 4. Wants to be held
* 5. Tummy troubles (gas, colic, and more)
* 6. Needs to burp
* 7. Too cold or too hot
* 8. Something small
* 9. Teething
* 10. Wants less stimulation
* 11. Wants more stimulation
* 12. Not feeling well
* What to do if your baby's still crying
There's no getting around it: Babies cry. It's how they communicate hunger,
pain, fear, a need for sleep, and more.
So how are parent... 阅读全帖
S**********e
发帖数: 25
15
来自主题: NextGeneration版 - 这个是便秘么?
我家宝宝5个半月,加rice cereal有三、四周了,一直都没有问题。每天poop大约3-4
次。添加米糊之后还比原来要多一次。
从前天开始,突然poop次数和量都明显减少,昨天只有一次,量也不大。随着poop减少
,fart开始特别的多,比以前要多很多,而且挺臭的。每次宝宝fart了,我都以为是
poop,想换diaper,打开来什么都没有。
昨天的那一次poop除了量比较小,其他都正常,颜色也正常,不像是便秘的样子。
但是这个变化是怎么引起的?我们饮食的其他方面都没有变,每天母乳为主,加4-5oz
液体奶,这些都跟原来一样。我自己的饮食也没有什么变化。回想这几天我吃的东西,
跟之前没什么不同啊。
如果说是添加米糊引起的,之前好几周都挺好的呀。挺怪的。
大家觉得可能是怎么回事儿呢?多谢!
c****2
发帖数: 1076
t***e
发帖数: 3601
17
If you can say, say it. If you can fart, fart.
c**i
发帖数: 6973
18
来自主题: Taiwan版 - Come to Learn Taiwanese
How to say "fart" in Taiwanese? Which is also known as Hoklo--福佬(話 or 人);
yes, this is a English word!
Today, a Washington Post columnist named John Kelly teaches the world how to
say "fart" (which is deemed vulgar)--or "passing gas" in high society, or
flatulence as a medical term.
John Kelly, A Mighty Wind: Passing Gas in 18 Languages. Washington Post, Jan
. 5, 2009
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/commons/2009/01/a_mighty_wind.html
("Taiwanese: Funkee")
Note: Sorry, guys. There is no Mandarin
a*o
发帖数: 25262
19
来自主题: NewYork版 - i remember when i was living in the dorm
I guess dooms have more stories than that....LOL...
Once in a Calculus class, a guy walked up to the board and wrote:
No Farting!!!
everyone was laughing loud..and the professor came in with an expression:..
What the fart???
LMAO.....
p**p
发帖数: 10318
20
来自主题: NewYork版 - 纽约,纽约,纽约,纽约。
嗯,也可能不是电影,或许是书里一段描写纽约的,或许是late show里说纽约的,等
等,融合在一起,都是关于纽约的,深刻的多。
比如,我记着一个,关于纽约客和外地人来纽约坐纽约地铁的区别的:if suddenly
you want to fart, just fart. Then you are a new yorker!
还有,一个纽约男人带着一个外州小镇的女性朋友参观纽约,看到一个homeless街边打
哆嗦,忙走过去惊讶的俯下身子问,are you okay? 这个男的连忙更惊讶的把这个他眼
里可爱的土妞儿扶起来说,honey, trust me, he is perfectly OK here in New york
city.
等等太多了。
f*****a
发帖数: 781
21
来自主题: SanFrancisco版 - 我恨tax
敢情明年万税党再加一个 fart tax
each time you fart, you need to pay IRS some $$$
f***c
发帖数: 36
22
no surprise for those brain fart guys to propose such a brain fart idea

get
s*********3
发帖数: 141
23
感谢有心人的整理----秘方
这不知花了多少时间和心血 , 真的精彩! 能够分享是一种福气!...在紧急情况下﹐这
些常识说不定帮你救了您或你的家人、亲戚、朋友、 同事的一命。以下汇集是有识人
仕所提供的资料﹐以助参考。在日常生活中,出人意表的事情常八九。年纪大了﹐身体
毛病接踵而来。增加医学常识﹐对己对人都有帮助。在紧急情况下﹐这些常识说不定帮
你 救了您或你的家人、亲戚、朋友、同事的一命。以下汇集有识人仕所提供的资料﹐
以助参考:
1. 洋葱浸红酒 <http://www.philcheung.com/Health/RWO.htm> ; Red wine & onion
2. 自己CPR 的方法 <http://www.philcheung.com/Health/HAS.htm > The beat goes on
3. 心脏病发﹑中风前兆 <http://www.philcheung.com/Health/HSS.htm> ; Heart attack, stroke warning signs
4. 中风辨认常识 <http://www.philcheung.com/Healt... 阅读全帖
D******r
发帖数: 491
24
Now you just showed us besides being brain farted, gun control supporter was
made but not properly raised and educated as well.
VT的枪手 should thanks all those brain farted gun control supporters most
for making VT an gun free zone, so when he opens fire, he could be sure
nobody else may have a gun and shoot back.
What's the point make gun control even stricter while you don't even have
the ability, resource or in your case, the brain to enforce current law to
take guns from the hands of felonie
m***2
发帖数: 595
25
有点儿不好意思,但是观察很久了,一跑步就气体多,容易fart,不是跑步的时候,而
是整天肚子都咕噜咕噜的一不小心就fart。
一停跑就好…
有没有人类似的?是因为跑步的时候呼吸方式不对吗?
m***2
发帖数: 595
26
有点儿不好意思,但是观察很久了,一跑步就气体多,容易fart,不是跑步的时候,而
是整天肚子都咕噜咕噜的一不小心就fart。
一停跑就好…
有没有人类似的?是因为跑步的时候呼吸方式不对吗?
A*********t
发帖数: 7481
wh
发帖数: 141625
28
来自主题: LeisureTime版 - 【纽约客转载】Tenth of December
也是以前几个id推荐的New Yorker的一个短篇小说,我当时打印了,到现在还没看……
发信人: megguan (🐳), 信区: LeisureTime
标 题: Re: 朝三暮四包子题
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Tue Dec 31 18:29:04 2013, 美东)
吃!
今年最喜欢的书是george saunders的小说集tenth of december (最喜欢的是书里最后
一篇的同名小说;也在new yorker上登过);今年最喜欢的电影是american hustle,
gravity还有一代宗师;最喜欢的歌是网络大俗歌what does the fox say?!
发信人: xiaobug (none), 信区: LeisureTime
标 题: Re: 朝三暮四包子题
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Tue Dec 31 19:33:00 2013, 美东)
同喜欢这本书。那天和 aixiaoke 讨论了一下。他的小说我看得很压抑,想起了白先勇
的 芝加哥之死
原文链接(带图):
http://www.newyorker.com/fi... 阅读全帖
O*******o
发帖数: 7091
29
Well, he's supposed to have created man in his image, so I'd imagine that
since man farts, God must fart too. It just makes sense.
t******n
发帖数: 2939
30
来自主题: WaterWorld版 - [合集] 突然好想回国啊~
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
eggflowercat (蛋花猫) 于 (Sat Jul 26 14:59:20 2014, 美东) 提到:
总觉得,在美国混日子,蓝天白云大太阳,吃的东西也放心,活得挺痛快(起码和接触
的人表面上过的去),当时有个蓝盆友,他毕业后要回国,于是就不断的劝说自己和我
们家人,回国挺好啦……
氮素,其实心里总想着,不想回国啊~生在中国的小孩压力多大活着多累啊~不能让自
己的小孩受苦受累啊~
蓝后,刚才我在拉粑粑的时候,突然就释怀了,去年买了个表,现在老纸连男盆友都没
有,还操心小孩干嘛……烙饼肉夹馍才是银!森!真!谛!
哈!哈!哈!就这么点儿出息……
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
gbgb (菜鸟大大) 于 (Sat Jul 26 18:20:25 2014, 美东) 提到:
别傻了。你以为结婚有多好
☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
eggflowercat (蛋花猫) 于 (Sat ... 阅读全帖
l*****v
发帖数: 26
31
来自主题: EnglishChat版 - Flatulation
An old lady came into her doctor's, office and confessed to an embarrassing
problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Blake, but they're soundless, and they
have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty
times. What can I do?"
"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Jacobson. Take these pills three times a
day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."
The next week, an upset Mrs. Jacobson marched into Dr. Blakes office.
"Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but
s***t
发帖数: 197
32
来自主题: EnglishChat版 - f1
fab: fabulous.
"Dave's ESL Cafe is really fab!"
face-off: confrontation.
"I think it's time we had a face-off."
fart [offensive]: to expel intestinal gas.
"It's embarrassing to fart on the first date."
fender-bender: small accident.
"This morning I had a fender-bender on the Ventura Freeway."
flaky: unpredictable.
"I waited four hours for my flaky friend to show up."
flashback: sudden memory.
"In Little Tokyo I had a flashback to my days living in Japan."
flick: movie.
"Let's go out tonight and
m*****e
发帖数: 4193
33
来自主题: Joke版 - Don't Shave That Hair!
Don’t Shave That Hair!!!
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you,
that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me
having trouble shitting.
No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a
matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that
tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my
asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had... 阅读全帖
s*******t
发帖数: 838
34
老外最近一个很火的文章,翻译版
千万!不要!刮! 你的肛毛!!!!
最近我犯下了人生中最大的一个错误!!!!
现在把经验告诉大家,希望大家能从中吸取教训!!!
这一切都要从我拉便便的问题开始说起!!!
不,你想错了,实际上,我并没有便秘!!!
只是在技术上的排便问题而已!!
我的肛毛太长太浓密了,每次拉便便总有一些沾在毛上面!!!
这些残便粘的很牢,这让我非常不爽!!!!!!
我必须用纸清理我的肛毛!!!
但这是个技术活!!!
因为看不见我的屁屁,清理肛毛的时候经常会把屁屁其他地方弄脏!!
还有一个方法是用很多纸把整个屁股仔细擦一遍!!!!
这样做的后果是纸用得太多我家马桶经常会被厕纸堵住!!!!
这个问题困扰我很久!!!!!
经过深思熟虑以后,我想到了一个好点子!!!!
这是老子的屁股老子的肛毛!!!我的地盘我做主!!!!
为什么不把肛毛刮了呢????
这样我的大便不就可以流畅排放了吗!!!!
我脑子里不禁浮现出金黄色的啤酒从酒桶里潺潺流出的美丽景象!!!!!
但后来的事实证明,这是一个非常错误的傻B想法!!!
那天晚上,我坐在毛巾上,开始用廉价的一次性剃刀刮我的肛毛!!!!
我要小... 阅读全帖
H********g
发帖数: 43926
35
来自主题: Joke版 - 美国的厕所文学 (转载)
here I sit
arms enfolding
my melting body.
I'm wondering of you
as I slowly become one
with the chair that holds me.
Here I Sit
----------
(as I slowly become one / with the chair that holds me)
:1:
Here I sit down, broken-hearted
Trying to push a yet unstarted
Poem into bright creation -
Oh, the pains of constipation!
Hours have passed, I've merely parted
Rump cheeks and effetely farted
Those weak blasts of wind excluded
Nothing concrete has extruded!
Other assholes far more shitten
In their ti... 阅读全帖
r****z
发帖数: 12020
36
来自主题: Joke版 - Yo Mama is so Fat
Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease,
the doctor gave her ten years to live.
Yo mama is so fat that the National Weather Service names each one of her
farts.
Yo mama is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "taxi!"
Yo mama is so fat and dumb that the only reason she opened her email was
because she heard it contained spam.
Yo mama is so fat she threw on a sheet fo... 阅读全帖
x****o
发帖数: 21566
37
来自主题: Joke版 - 人类未来的食物 -- soylent
自从吃上了soylent,好像就没什么馋不馋的问题了。觉得人类的食物太麻烦,好吃不
好吃也完全没什么意义了。人生得到了升华,完美
From Amazon
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
194 of 204 people found the following review helpful
The taste is nice, it's easy to make
By J. Thompson on November 9, 2014
Size: One Day (3 Meals)
I was so excited to learn of this that I was one of the original kickstarter
backers. I finally received my product a few weeks ago, and most of what
everyone says is true. The taste is nice, it's easy to make, and it does
leave you feeling qui... 阅读全帖
c******n
发帖数: 16666
38
来自主题: Joke版 - Soylent 有人尝试过吗
[–]Poop_Scooper_Supreme 1 point 5 months ago
I'd say. Those were the worst farts I have ever experienced. I farted
outside and it still almost killed my roommate. The adjustment period for
that is not awesome, but it goes away soon enough. Makes you realize just
how much fiber we don't consume.
permalink
f******r
发帖数: 2975
39
【 以下文字转载自 Movie 讨论区 】
【 原文由 weidong 所发表 】
有中文了
south park the movie很多人不以为然,认为是一个充满了fart joke的片子而已,非
也非也,这个破破的片子可以说是一个美国社会的缩影。仍然推荐大家看看。sigh,
就是要对俚语掌握至深至精....且不可和做作之MM一气观赏,好了废话不说。
这个片子最后的时候,美加两国为了pillips 和 terrace是否可以说foul language
而搞到边境冲突的地步(I wish that really happens, hoho),最后Pillips和
terrace被美国军队和美国家长反对加拿大联合会俘虏,马上要被处决,这时,
south park town的一群小孩子高举"la resistance"的旗帜,紧紧围住pillips和
terrace,要求保证人民的言论自由,反对censorship,哪怕是fart jokes,
呵呵,很是鼓舞人心,呵呵,很革命浪漫主义的。甚和我的口味。
再后来,kenny这孩子为了让south park town回到战争前的和平,毅然要
s****d
发帖数: 83
40
来自主题: Cantonese版 - wahahahaha..so funny in office ah
really busy these days...coz so many stuff due next week ah.. but anyway, it
is really funny to stay in the office. my boss and my colleague are extremely
funny and nice to me!!! last time, they flied to india. my colleague farted a
lot and it was so sting. all the passengers sitting around had to move to some
other places miles away. my boss laughed a lot, but the most funny part was my
colleague used a blanket to roll over his body, whenever he farted, he put his
head down and tried to smell i
S*****r
发帖数: 1272
41
来自主题: Mathematics版 - what can you learn from math finance?
Fart fart.
w*******y
发帖数: 60932
42
Amazon has some of their LeapFrog Reading books for 50% off, others on sale
as well.
LeapFrog Tag Kid Classic Storybook Olivia:
http://www.amazon.com/LeapFrog-Tag-Classic-Storybook-Olivia/dp/B00134O9LI/ref=sr_1_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1289916884&sr=1-1
$8.00
Leapfrog Tag Kid Classic Storybook Fancy Nancy At The Museum $8.00:
http://www.amazon.com/Leapfrog-Classic-Storybook-Fancy-Museum/dp/B00134O9X6/ref=sr_1_3?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1289916884&sr=1-3
Leapfrog Tag Kid Classic Story... 阅读全帖
w*******y
发帖数: 60932
43
iPhone & iPod
Demons and the Damned:
http://itunes.apple.com/app/demons-and-the-damned/id448347739?m
($.99 -> Free, 2.9 MB) 5 Stars , Game
Ragdoll Blaster 2:
http://itunes.apple.com/app/ragdoll-blaster-2/id353846826?mt=8
($2.99 -> Free, 62.5 MB) 4.5 Stars , Game (Thanx lito9)
Best Video Safe:
http://itunes.apple.com/app/best-video-safe/id460354248?mt=8
($.99 -> Free, 4.7 MB) New App , Utilities
Safety Photo+:
http://itunes.apple.com/app/safety-photo/id456637671?mt=8
($1.99 -> Free, 7.4 M... 阅读全帖
w*******y
发帖数: 60932
44
iPhone & iPod
iRingtone Workshop Pro:
http://itunes.apple.com/app/iringtone-workshop-pro/id428814882?
($.99 -> Free, 5.1 MB) 4.5 Stars , Music
Gif Camera:
http://itunes.apple.com/app/gif-camera/id455641018?mt=8
($.99 -> Free, 2.3 MB) 4 Stars , Photography
Pixel Ninja!:
http://itunes.apple.com/app/pixel-ninja!/id398956348?mt=8
($1.99 -> Free, 11.5 MB) 4 Stars , Game
hedgehog adventure:
http://itunes.apple.com/app/hedgehog-adventure/id447013660?mt=8
($1.99 -> Free, 48.2 MB) 4 Stars , Game
... 阅读全帖
c*g
发帖数: 1980
45
来自主题: _FilmArts版 - 重贴FilmArt笑话
鼓舞士气。革命战士不怕挫折。
************
今天第一天,我先来整个笑话开锣。这个笑话是说我刚开始念博士不久,我的精神导师
,我的表哥的表哥,给我一本皱巴巴的中文杂志,叫作“电影艺术”。该杂志被我放在
办公桌上,没事就翻翻。一天,我同事好奇,也拿起来看。看了没一眼就狂笑,说:“
那谁,你推牛了。天天熏我们还不说 ,还上升到了理论高度。”然后满屋子传给别人
看。
原来,该杂志封面有个英文title,叫作Film Art。好死不死,该logo是这样设计的:
一个巨大的F,跟着ilm三个小点儿的字母,灰色,是衬底。Art三个字母粉红鲜活,正
将将盖在ilm三个字上面,只是稍稍下面一点。同事那鬼子拿来,看到第一眼当然是英
文, ilm三个字盖住看不到了,看得就是大写的F,加上“art” 三个字---Fart。
我一看大乐,立刻拿起电话,打给我的导师,表哥的表哥。打完以后,办公室又是一阵
子暴笑。我讲中文他们自然不懂,听我打电话,就是:“yadi yadi yada grrrrpp---
Film Art ----齐德隆东强齐德隆东强—Fart。”不需要解释,他们都知道我在说什么。
I*****e
发帖数: 7085
46
来自主题: _K12版 - 大家把孩子养的太细了
there are laws to fine people who urinate in public; but though there's no
laws about farting, most civilized
people don't fart in public. if they absolutely have to, they feel sheepish
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