b********t
发帖数: 992 | 1 说到ROMANCE，几个月前还看了一部INTIMACY，英国的电影，又是一部因露骨镜头惊世骇
俗的影片，尽管男主角做出了色相上的最大牺牲，但整个片子看完，能留下给印象的却是
相貌平平女主角的表演。 |
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s*****n
发帖数: 430 | 2 nod, intimacy more like small theatre drama than film
storyline is not very important, but actor and actress
show a lot of talent
talk about love-making, i prefer call it fuck each other.
that i saw last year, still think they are just fuck each other,
trash whatever they want to trash. |
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n******t
发帖数: 239 | 3
当然男女主角的关系本身是 sex, only sex, nothing else。
但事情总不是那么简单，当一方或双方开始研究对方背景时，
关系就变复杂了。
就象 Une Pornographique 那样，纯 sex 的关系总有可能
转入一种更暧昧的关系。Intimacy 的调子更冷更硬。 |
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b********t
发帖数: 992 | 4 ROMANCE和INTIMACY中SEX细节描写在我看来纯粹多余，只能分散看电影时的注意力 |
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a*o
发帖数: 25262 | 5 【 以下文字转载自 NewYork 讨论区 】
发信人: auo (aeiou), 信区: NewYork
标 题: In a relationship, married or not… You should read this. (zz)
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Fri Oct 21 11:18:49 2011, 美东)
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I
observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what
I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t
see... 阅读全帖 |
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a*o
发帖数: 25262 | 6 “When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I
observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what
I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t
seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks
and shouted at me, you are not... 阅读全帖 |
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f*****3
发帖数: 831 | 7 以下转载：
昨天的《婚姻与家庭》课，讨论第13章，《逐渐走远：分开与离婚》（Coming Apart：
Separation and Divorce）。我用了随教科书而提供给老师的参考书里的一道讨论题
，题目是：
“你认为两个人不再相爱是你会离婚的原因吗？”
班上女生中年龄最大的Amy，三十来岁、已经是三个孩子的母亲，举手要求发言：
“我认为这不能成为离婚的理由。因为这只能说明你都没有足够的努力，就放弃了。
当你是真的相爱而结婚的时候，是不会fall out of love（不再相爱）的。维持婚姻要
做许许多多艰难的工作。”
我问她，“那你怎么知道自己是不是找到的是真爱？”
她很快地接道：“你爱的必须是这个人本身，是这个人的全部。不管好坏，你都爱他/
她。你对他/她的感觉不是lust（性欲），也不是infactuation（热恋），……”
我说，“说得真好！可是问题是，当你决定要和他/她结婚的时候，你是否知道什么是
love, lust以及infactuation呢？你也许觉得自己在热恋（infactuation）中，那就是
爱（love）了。而热恋并不一定就是爱。有多少人能够确信自己... 阅读全帖 |
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c******i
发帖数: 4091 | 8 割包皮会造成一生的心理创伤和生理隐患，会增加妇科疾病的发病率，会增加艾滋病的
发病率，等等。
How Male Circumcision Harms Women
Ronald Goldman, Ph.D.
Learn about the hidden negative psychological and sexual effects of
circumcision and how these effects harm women in relationships with men.
This article is based on research reports in the medical and psychological
literature.
Marilyn Milos didn't know much about circumcision when she consented to have
her three sons circumcised. She trusted her doctor who told her it did not
hurt and "only to... 阅读全帖 |
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b*****d
发帖数: 61690 | 9 Why have young people in Japan stopped having sex?
What happens to a country when its young people stop having sex? Japan is
finding out… Abigail Haworth investigates
Japanese man and woman lean away from each other
Arm’s length: 45% of Japanese women aged 16-24 are ‘not interested in or
despise sexual contact’. More than a quarter of men feel the same way.
Photograph: Eric Rechsteiner
Ai Aoyama is a sex and relationship counsellor who works out of her narrow
three-storey home on a Tokyo back st... 阅读全帖 |
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k*****r
发帖数: 21039 | 10 What is it Like to Teach Black Students?
by Christopher Jackson
Until recently I taught at a predominantly black high school in a
southeastern state. The mainstream press gives a hint of what conditions are
like in black schools, but only a hint. Expressions journalists use like “
chaotic” or “poor learning environment” or “lack of discipline” do not
capture what really happens. There is nothing like the day-to-day experience
of teaching black children and that is what I will try to ... 阅读全帖 |
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w*********g
发帖数: 30882 | 11 黑人学校和黑人世界的真相 - Chris Jackson
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Mon Dec 21 22:28:09 2015, 美东)
What is it Like to Teach Black Students?
by Christopher Jackson
Until recently I taught at a predominantly black high school in a
southeastern state. The mainstream press gives a hint of what conditions
are
like in black schools, but only a hint. Expressions journalists use like “
chaotic” or “poor learning environment” or “lack of discipline” do not
capture what really happens. There is nothing like the da... 阅读全帖 |
|
D*V
发帖数: 3096 | 12 Why have young people in Japan stopped having sex?
What happens to a country when its young people stop having sex? Japan is
finding out… Abigail Haworth investigates
Japanese man and woman lean away from each other
Arm’s length: 45% of Japanese women aged 16-24 are ‘not interested in or
despise sexual contact’. More than a quarter of men feel the same way.
Photograph: Eric Rechsteiner
Ai Aoyama is a sex and relationship counsellor who works out of her narrow
three-storey home on a Tokyo back st... 阅读全帖 |
|
w******g
发帖数: 2047 | 13 【 以下文字转载自 Military 讨论区 】
发信人: kayaker (霜晨の月), 信区: Military
标 题: 黑人学校和黑人世界的真相 - Chris Jackson
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Mon Dec 21 22:28:09 2015, 美东)
What is it Like to Teach Black Students?
by Christopher Jackson
Until recently I taught at a predominantly black high school in a
southeastern state. The mainstream press gives a hint of what conditions are
like in black schools, but only a hint. Expressions journalists use like “
chaotic” or “poor learning environment” or “lack of discipline” do... 阅读全帖 |
|
z****u
发帖数: 2629 | 14 同意。
我觉得自梳女的感情才是最真实最深厚的，最具有感情上的满足感。
自梳女是介于女性朋友和女同之间的一种感情，也许没有什么强烈的sexual吸引力，但
是两人有强烈的柏拉图感情relationship。
我觉得柏拉图的感情+少量intimacy就挺好的。intimacy就是拥抱搂抱亲吻等等表达感
情的方式，不一定是性冲动。那种intimacy最好了。推崇最高形式的柏拉图之恋，不一
定就是性冷淡，or不喜欢性，就算是有正常的性需求，也可以通过其他方式去满足。 |
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t***h
发帖数: 2924 | 15 【 以下文字转载自 USANews 讨论区 】
发信人: willhung (黄威廉), 信区: USANews
标 题: 黑人学校和黑人世界的真相 - Chris Jackson (转载)
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Tue Dec 22 04:08:43 2015, 美东)
发信人: kayaker (霜晨の月), 信区: Military
标 题: 黑人学校和黑人世界的真相 - Chris Jackson
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Mon Dec 21 22:28:09 2015, 美东)
What is it Like to Teach Black Students?
by Christopher Jackson
Until recently I taught at a predominantly black high school in a
southeastern state. The mainstream press gives a hint of what conditions are
like in black schools, ... 阅读全帖 |
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g******4
发帖数: 6339 | 16 <<< Psychological basis >>>
Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon.
(1) Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love
and argued that love has three different components: intimacy, commitment,
and passion.
[1] Intimacy is a form in which two people share confidences and various
details of their personal lives, and is usually shown in friendships and
romantic love affairs. [2] Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation
that the relationship is ... 阅读全帖 |
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t***y
发帖数: 182 | 17 source:
http://www.astralreflections.com/html/yearahead.html
2012 begins with hope and vigor. Last year’s most promising projects, which
stalled all autumn, suddenly advance. You now have six months – only – to
give these optimistic ventures a mighty push. After June, luck puts on new
shoes, for a new dance.
Over the world, 2012 will continue the slow, grinding journey of hierarchy
change – with abrupt lurches, such as the Arab Spring. Revolt has not ended
– major clashes seem imminent June to S... 阅读全帖 |
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b*****d
发帖数: 61690 | 18 【 以下文字转载自 Military 讨论区 】
发信人: brihand (brihand), 信区: Military
标 题: 日本牛大发了:年轻人对sex没兴趣了
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Mon Oct 28 12:42:37 2013, 美东)
Why have young people in Japan stopped having sex?
What happens to a country when its young people stop having sex? Japan is
finding out… Abigail Haworth investigates
Japanese man and woman lean away from each other
Arm’s length: 45% of Japanese women aged 16-24 are ‘not interested in or
despise sexual contact’. More than a quarter of men feel the same way.
Photogr... 阅读全帖 |
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l****o
发帖数: 5435 | 19 Ｆirstly, thanks for you having read through my story, which I believe
few would like to do.
Secondly, answer your question. The point is not whether I want the
intimacy or not. The point is : If you want to be have intimacy publicly
with me, you need to be confident enough about yourself, proud of who you
are, as to not feel embarrassed when you are questioned and damned by others
who discriminate you and brave enough to fight back. Otherwise do not begin
the intimacy with me! I would not be... 阅读全帖 |
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G******U
发帖数: 4211 | 20 Bill Zeller
I have the urge to declare my sanity and justify my actions, but I assume I'
ll never be able to convince anyone that this was the right decision. Maybe
it's true that anyone who does this is insane by definition, but I can at
least explain my reasoning. I considered not writing any of this because of
how personal it is, but I like tying up loose ends and don't want people to
wonder why I did this. Since I've never spoken to anyone about what happened
to me, people would likely draw ... 阅读全帖 |
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A**n
发帖数: 1703 | 21 遗书：
Bill Zeller
I have the urge to declare my sanity and justify my actions, but I assume I'll never be able to convince
anyone that this was the right decision. Maybe it's true that anyone who does this is insane by definition,
but I can at least explain my reasoning. I considered not writing any of this because of how personal it is,
but I like tying up loose ends and don't want people to wonder why I did this. Since I've never spoken to
anyone about what happened to me, people would likely dr... 阅读全帖 |
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L*****o
发帖数: 499 | 22 下面这个是APA的code of ethics:
10.08 Sexual Intimacies With Former Therapy Clients/Patients
(a) Psychologists do not engage in sexual intimacies with former clients/
patients for at least two years after cessation or termination of therapy.
(b) Psychologists do not engage in sexual intimacies with former clients/
patients even after a two-year interval except in the most unusual
circumstances. Psychologists who engage in such activity after the two years
following cessation or termination of therapy a |
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y**o
发帖数: 8897 | 23 【 以下文字转载自 Dreamer 讨论区 】
发信人: Dreamer (不要问我从哪里来), 信区: Dreamer
标 题: 和外F分手
关键字: 外f，分手
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Oct 20 10:09:22 2011, 美东)
心里蛮难过的。
我ex外是个学cs的，多国混血的美国人，人算老实聪明，EQ方面缺乏，不会察言观色，
安慰人那种。唯一的爱好是funny video 唱歌（教堂合唱团式的）和intimacy。他不信
教，因为父母两人不是一个教派，不顾家人非在一起的，所以他就没有什么信的了。所
以我发现他有些narrow－minded，莫名奇妙的讨厌一些人－比如愿意的跟他讲话，但他
不愿意听的人。他同宿舍的舍友ABC毕业跟他真诚道别，他只是特别冷淡的回应。只因
为人家话多他不喜欢！但是他整体是个善良的人，老一辈们，像教授宿舍管理的奶奶超
市买吃的的大妈之类都很喜欢他。
一起上课认识，后来他病了住院我去看了他，他就邀我看美术馆去吃饭，然后给我唱歌
，后来说一直就喜欢我了，就和我在一起了。半年了我毕业了，夏天回来他送给我一个
银的手镯。一次我找工作不顺利... 阅读全帖 |
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D*********n
发帖数: 279 | 24 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Native_Americans_in_the_United_Sta
Native Americans in the United States
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
"American Indian" redirects here. For other indigenous peoples, see
Indigenous peoples of the Americas and other geographic regions. For
Americans from South Asia, see Indian American.
This article may be too long to read and navigate comfortably. Please
consider splitting content into sub-articles and/or condensing it. (January
2... 阅读全帖 |
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t******l
发帖数: 10908 | 25 属实，quality > quantity。
当然另一方面，有现代 intimacy lubricant 和 intimacy massager (vibrator) 的硬
件支持，20 分钟也不是个绝对的坎。。。这就好比现代汽油发动机有 coil on plug
的计算机自动提前量调整的智能火花塞，以及 0W20 全合成机油，那高转速拉久一点也
没事。。。你说的 20 分钟，主要是受 natural lubricant 的限制，以及缺乏 direct
clitoral stimulation 的两重因子。。。索男的体力也是一个因素，但是其次的原因
。大多数能游泳跑步的索男，体力其实也足够了，overheat 的问题比体力的问题更大
一些。。。当然具体细节还是要咨询大傻同学。。。
: 半小时完全够了，主要是质量要高。
: 那些动不动就吹几个小时的都是处男，超过20分钟女人就烦了。而且，大
多数琐
男的体
: 能，能支撑5分钟就不错了。
|
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t******l
发帖数: 10908 | 26 分子生物学不支持体液交流的观点，双盲测试估计都不能区分 体液 vs organic
intimacy lubricant。
体液交流极大的增加疾病传染的机会，而且对男女同步要求非常高。不如 premium
organic intimacy lubricant。
: 没有男性荷尔蒙和体液交流 还是不能从根本上解决问题
|
|
s******s
发帖数: 48 | 27 The courts have held that "adultery exists when one spouse rejects the other
by entering into a personal intimate relationship with any other person,
irrespective of the specific sexual acts performed; the rejection of the
spouse coupled with out-of-marriage intimacy constitutes adultery."
在某些fault based divorce的州里，establish adultery不需要sexual acts，只需
out of marriage intimacy，irrespective of the specific sexual acts performed。
还有前面说处女不处女的，婚前性行为根本不算哈。 |
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x*****i
发帖数: 4035 | 28 you used to have great sex because she was attracted to you. intimacy comes
naturally with love. now she's frustrated and finds you unattractive, so
intimacy is out of the question. women generally cannot detach sex from
loving feelings, but men can. try to understand her. good sex will come back
when you guys get along with each other again.
from
the
definition |
|
c******i
发帖数: 4091 | 29 发信人: chichazi (吃叉子), 信区: NextGeneration
标 题: 包皮到底有什么用？
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Fri Mar 21 14:25:55 2014, 美东)
The foreskin has numerous protective, sensory, and sexual functions.
· Protection: Just as the eyelids protect the eyes, the foreskin
protectsthe glans and keeps its surface soft, moist, and sensitive. It also
maintains optimal warmth, pH balance, and cleanliness. The glans itself
contains no sebaceous glands-glands that produce the sebum, or oil, that
moisturizes our skin.11 The foreskin produc... 阅读全帖 |
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c******i
发帖数: 4091 | 30 The foreskin has numerous protective, sensory, and sexual functions.
· Protection: Just as the eyelids protect the eyes, the foreskin protects
the glans and keeps its surface soft, moist, and sensitive. It also
maintains optimal warmth, pH balance, and cleanliness. The glans itself
contains no sebaceous glands-glands that produce the sebum, or oil, that
moisturizes our skin.11 The foreskin produces the sebum that maintains
proper health of the surface of the glans.
· Immunological Defense: The m... 阅读全帖 |
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a****g
发帖数: 3027 | 31 core problems in ASD只有三点：
1.is the child having trouble with establishing intimacy and warmth?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
how to measure the intimacy and warmth, especially with someone other than
family member?
2. Does the child communicate with gestures and emotional expressions?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
what if a child lacks gestures yet can cry, smile with expressions?
Does the child engage in continuous ... 阅读全帖 |
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Y*****2
发帖数: 38613 | 32 【 以下文字转载自 Dreamer 讨论区 】
发信人: Dreamer (不要问我从哪里来), 信区: Dreamer
标 题: 和外F分手
关键字: 外f，分手
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Oct 20 10:09:22 2011, 美东)
心里蛮难过的。
我ex外是个学cs的，多国混血的美国人，挺漂亮的。人算老实聪明，EQ方面缺乏，不会察言观色，
安慰人那种。唯一的爱好是funny video 唱歌（教堂合唱团式的）和intimacy。他不信
教，因为父母两人不是一个教派，不顾家人非在一起的，所以他就没有什么信的了。所
以我发现他有些narrow－minded，莫名奇妙的讨厌一些人－比如愿意的跟他讲话，但他
不愿意听的人。他同宿舍的舍友ABC毕业跟他真诚道别，他只是特别冷淡的回应。只因
为人家话多他不喜欢！但是他整体是个善良的人，老一辈们，像教授宿舍管理的奶奶超
市买吃的的大妈之类都很喜欢他。
一起上课认识，后来他病了住院我去看了他，他就邀我看美术馆去吃饭，然后给我唱歌
，后来说一直就喜欢我了，就和我在一起了。我们经常在一起，他不喜欢多说，暑假时
候还学着给我做饭。... 阅读全帖 |
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a*o
发帖数: 25262 | 33 唉。。西方很喜欢分类的，爱有很多种，不懂得翻译：
“Psychologist Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is made up of three
elements: attachment, caring and intimacy. Attachment is the need to receive
care, approval, and physical contact with the other person. Caring involves
valuing the other persons needs and happiness as much as your own. Intimacy
refers to the sharing of thoughts, desires, and feelings with the other
person.
Compassionate vs. Passionate Love
According to psychologist Elaine Hatfield and her colleague... 阅读全帖 |
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d*********e
发帖数: 1918 | 34 Do you think the intimacy may be the turning point?
him who initiates the intimacy.... I was totally into him, physically, at
that time....
also really surprised me what drove him to be attracted to me at the first
place. |
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t******n
发帖数: 2939 | 35 ☆─────────────────────────────────────☆
lvus (lvus) 于 (Thu Jun 27 21:46:59 2013, 美东) 提到:
作者：il22222222 时间：2013-06-27 15:17:35
作者：yanyanlele2009
我觉得以下这段话表达了很多人的心声，这应该是为什么许许多多的人如同打了鸡
血一般激昂奋战，其中也包括我。 转： 朱令 案之所以受到如此高的舆论关注，不仅
仅是法律问题，更是人性问题， 朱令 案颠覆了公平正义，颠覆了良知道德，并且长达
十九年之久未破，犯罪分子及包庇分子逍遥法外，当局态度冷漠， 朱令 事件所产生的
社会危害是不可估量的，这种危害随着时间的延续案件的未破将会不断的加深。
大家为 朱令 案件奔走呼应，都只是仅仅想保护一种简单的社会公正，要不然，随
便一个高官的亲戚，看我们不顺眼都可以把我们弄死了？昨天是 朱令 ，明天就可能是
你我，既然你想从法律角度说，说什么根据法律程序不能公开，说什么舆论绑架司法，
那我们就谈谈法律，如果不公开的后果可能会毁了一代人的信念，在他们看来我们的司
法被... 阅读全帖 |
|
D****2
发帖数: 2656 | 36 indieWIRE INTERVIEW | "Lust, Caution" Director Ang Lee
By Erica Abeel | Indiewire
September 26, 2007 at 9:53AM
There's no lack of buzz around "Lust, Caution," the latest provocation from
Ang Lee. Though tepidly received by some Stateside reviewers, who found more
caution than lust, it collected the Golden Lion in Venice (Lee's second in
three years following "Brokeback Mountain"). "Lust" marks not only Lee's
return to a Chinese-based milieu--with his trademark agility, he once again
tackles a ne... 阅读全帖 |
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l****o
发帖数: 5435 | 37 你是看懂了字面的意思，但是你没有试图结合场景去体会字面后的浅台词和人物的心里。
坦白的说，我是觉得被insult了.很显然我们是 很好朋友，我知道她是
les,她知道我不是。当我说“人们会误解我们是les"的时候，其实我已经是在暗示她的
intimacy已经让我感到不适。意思是让她back off. 这就象是你很熟的同学每天和你坐
同一辆地铁回家，在一个特殊的节日，因为气氛使然，他下意识的摸了你的头发，如果
你不束缚，你不会很鲁莽的质问他，只会委婉的表达。因为如果人家并不是那个意思，
你反映太激烈倒会被笑不cool. 但是当她说“i knew"并且依然intimacy的时候，就已
经很让我不爽了。 但是因为她闪烁的眼睛，我还没有勇气伤害她。这就象是同学如果
不解你的委婉，却依然很难让他难堪，尤其在那个节日一样。所以用那个关于勇气的对
话挑战她，只是让她back off.因为我知道她做不到。hehe。提出一个对方做不到的要
求来让对方back off.
其实很多男女之间的关系不都是在这种探索中忐忑的开始的么？男的在第一次接
触女的之前都不知会是什么结果，而对于女的如果要拒绝还要保... 阅读全帖 |
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W********2
发帖数: 4008 | 38 intimacy就是两个人独有的，彼此说些别人听不懂的话~
你和别人share了，尼玛这就不叫intimacy了！！！！ |
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j*******1
发帖数: 1533 | 39 哇，吓我一跳。 我看你经历的不多，如果对方最终不是你想要的咋办？恋爱时一个磨
合的阶段，而且不一定会成功。如果第一次就成功，那是你上辈子修来的福气，我祝福
你。结婚又三个阶段，PASSION，INTIMACY， COMMITMENT，一个都不能少，你说的恋爱
，只不过是第一部分，PASSION ， PASSION会随着时间变得平淡， 而INTIMACY就是两
个人的结合，或共同的生活。这个已经很难了， 因为我们都有不一样的教育和家庭背
景。要磨合和互相适应需要坚持和时间。最后是COMMITMENT， 两个人要有共同的目标
。这个更难，因为每个人都有自己想要的， 这一步要互相了解融合以后才能进行， 这
样一环扣一环的。不是你说一辈子就一辈子。
不过事情也不是很悲观，只要你肯TRY，就有机会完成。TRY50%， 不TRY0%。 |
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j*******1
发帖数: 1533 | 40 你喜歡他，先把他給搶過來，以後慢慢收拾他。要不然落入別人的手，叫你後悔還來不
及。
*那他不会觉得这女生很随便，也许对别人也这样吗？
不會，因爲大部分男生用下邊想事情。根本這一點連想都不會想。 我以前說的，戀愛3
步曲，PASSION， INTIMACY和COMITTMENT，第一步，PASSION大概會持續在一個月到一
年， 熱戀中的情人，腦袋瓜不清醒，一天到晚做白日夢，人家說也不聼。你還怕對方
用理性去分析嗎？你先到達這一步再説。
*再说太容易到手的东西是不是会不珍惜呢？
所以你就不要讓他那麽快的手呀， 我們男生所謂的得手是。。。（INTIMACY）不是你說的拖手做男女盆友。只要他一天沒跟你那個，就不會不珍惜你。不過也不要拖得太長，因爲2-3年
估計你家的男友等不及。
*关键是不知道对方吃哪套。
情場如戰場，最後只有得到或失去（就像商場，顧客只會買或不買），其實就是這麽簡
單。你不要，別人要，所以終歸只有一套。
東西要先買回家，至於買回家后咂辦？呵呵。。。商傢有一套叫售/收后服務（這步可以
收服新交的男/女友）。等你走到哪一步再教你。 |
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S*******t
发帖数: 3956 | 41 我的理解，对应后面的shine,是如同太阳在旋转中发光，所以未来中，她的所爱成为她
世界中的太阳。
hairline,联系题目，可以是光透过窗户，照亮发迹，或者额头抵在窗玻璃，或者情人
在耳边的低语不管什么，这个意象有physical intimacy 的含义，联系下面的bone,又
是精神上的intimacy |
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c**r
发帖数: 10001 | 42 此书作者反复强调的一个最重要概念就是differentiation, 这个词从biology里来，
就是细胞分化的那个differentiation, 他认为要保持great intimacy in
relationship,
个人的differentiation是必须的，就是你能够在高度intimacy的relationship中
仍然保持自我的能力。前面讲的fusion fantasy算是differentiation的一个反面。
Page 74:
<> by David Schnarch
Page 74
No one ever wants to differentiate. You'll probably do it for the same
reasons most people do: differentiating eventually becomes less painful than
other alternatives.
看这句的时候忽然想到，其实用在fighting procrastination上也许同样适用，fight |
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c**r
发帖数: 10001 | 43 哈哈，还没想过这句能这么理解呢，以前看到句很好笑的话还拿来做过一阵子
签名档的，跟你说的这个意思就很像“I used to be schizophrenia, but we
are okay now.”
这句的意思要简单的多，you就是指long term relationship的另一半，当时读
的时候，恰好这一部分让我感受挺多的，看到这句的时候忽然被感动了不行，就
拿来做签名档了。给你看一下上下文：
Passionate Marriage p107
How can you tell the difference between these two types of intimacy? Other-
validated intimacy "sounds" like this: "I'll tell you about myself, but only
if you then tell me about yourself. If you don't, I won't either. But I
want to, so you have to. I'll go first and the |
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