M*********m
发帖数: 2024 | 1 It is not a REAL competition. It is to give some stimuli and people would
feel fun. Imagine you could write your tour in English, it must be like a
Safari story... :) |
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a*********7
发帖数: 30080 | 2 牛筋＋鸡肠 ＝ 美味！！
layoffs, even the comedy shows were making jokes of government bankruptcy.
All these words and thoughts were flying around him, churning his stomach
and making him dizzy. It was like watching a 5000-pound pickup truck
charging toward him. Only he was lucky with the truck that almost hit him,
but this time he couldn’t move a finger but watch helplessly.
voice.
Ray like a Koala. She had been waiting for the moment. With no waste time,
Emily asked,
dinner. But he just couldn’t collec |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 8 (3)
It was just another day at work. Ray didn’t know when Emily stopped crying
and how Debra put her to bed last night. As a matter of fact, he didn’t
remember much of anything last night after he lost it, how he slept and how
he got up and came to work this morning.
“It was just a bad dream”, Ray shook his head while walking into the
conference room. It was an all hands meeting set up by the new VP who is
just brought in from outside and will be overseeing Ray’s department
starting today. This |
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D******6
发帖数: 6211 | 9 wow，wow，真是日行八百呀。
crying
how |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 10 让俺数数，三节总算凑够800字了，呵呵
不过已经跟俺最初的构思越来越远了，下面有点不好写了
应该一起写完再发的，唉 |
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M*********m
发帖数: 2024 | 11 Feel a bit guilty for buns cheating... :) |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 13 (4)
Emily sat in the back seat, singing. She didn’t seem to be bothered by
or
remember the unpleasant night before. Kids, Ray sighed to himself with a
relief, but only for a second. He couldn’t stop thinking of every word “
Rat” had said in the meeting. There is just so much uncertainty that
each
word could have totally different interpretations. “Should’ve stayed”,
Ray grumbled, thinking of the meeting he had to cancel with his boss.
Emily was singing louder and louder, almost turned into a scr |
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i*********s
发帖数: 2451 | 16 it turned into a giant messy pile of shrubs and crumbs with slimy mud all
over it.
Really enjoy your writing, you did a great job crafting your words! I can't
believe you just made them all in 12 hours. |
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e*******d
发帖数: 461 | 18 ........Hope Emily survive the crash..
stared
” |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 19 昨天关税无聊的时候，开始构思写的，大概2个小时一节吧，一概是一般的速度吧，主
要俺多分了几节骗
包子，显得多一点:D
下面这一句，就是我说的瞎编的那种，都不知道英语里有没有这种说法，估计看起来会
比较滑稽：）。
感觉词汇量还是太小，到了要铺陈要烘托的地方就不行了，只能很口语化的来；到了对
话的地方，俚语
又不行，一个个又只好板起面孔来书面语，唉
all
can't |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 21 报告，后面还没想好，这几天没时间写了
多半要烂尾 |
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i*********s
发帖数: 2451 | 22 烂尾？别！
it turned into a giant messy pile of shrubs and crumbs with slimy mud
allover around.
Better? |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 23 赞！
我是歇性歇斯底里型的，半天时间可以写很多，今天又没有mood了
过两天太忙，没时间，烂尾的趋势很明显了。唉 |
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i*********s
发帖数: 2451 | 24 告诉大家，昨天您吃的啥喝的啥，变的歇斯底里的？
要不，回头再给您整点？ |
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i*********s
发帖数: 2451 | 26 谁说是笑话，真的很好！
严重打击到某些菜鸟的原创动力~ |
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a******e
发帖数: 6689 | 28 8过长篇小说，动笔之前的故事构架还是很重要的，要不然线头太容易对错了。
你的Sumner Street到底有没有接着写啊，我还等着看what happened after the crash
呢。 |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 29 5)
“Are you okay?” a little voice asked.
Ray didn’t move.
“Hello? Can you hear me, Mister?” tender and crisp with a bit raised concern. It was a little girl’s voice.
Ray hardly opened his eyes and instantly closed them again. A low, muttering sound emitted from back of his throat.
“I knew you can!” the girl acclaimed and didn’t bother. She had gotten the answer she needed from the ambiguous frog-like sound Ray managed to make. She giggled a little before resumed talking. “Can you open your eyes? |
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M*********m
发帖数: 2024 | 32 In tears... I don't think he will just move to the other end of the city. He
will move to another side of the country...
concern. It was a little girl’s voice.
muttering sound emitted from back of his throat.
the answer she needed from the ambiguous frog-like sound Ray managed to make
. She giggled a little before resumed talking. “Can you open your eyes? I
have something to show you. Oh, wait!” She shouted and hastened to add in a
whisper, “It’s a secret. You’ll know tomorrow.”
squinty eyes, R |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 33 good catch!
那是一个遗留下来的bug，本来有情节需要安排在同一城市的，后来又推翻了，但是忘
了改这一句
He
make
a
sunlight
freshly |
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M*********m
发帖数: 2024 | 34 Ox ligament is really good at making up stories... |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 35 我觉得好像有点跑偏了
后面比较关键，有点把握不住了，主要是一开始没有想好构思，搞得现在越写越困难，
写第5节花了前面4节加起来的时间：（ |
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i*********s
发帖数: 2451 | 37 A little girl fell on the ground just in front of him, with a pink bike on
her legs, wheels still turning.
"bike on her legs" ? A odd image, sounds to me~ |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 38 好像是挺怪的哈，不知道英文怎么说，瞎编了，见狂笑；）
改了一下，是不是好一点？ |
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a******e
发帖数: 6689 | 39 结尾很棒，不过中间急躁了，跟前四篇比较这一篇陈述性过渡过多，不够视觉化。如果
分成两篇再补充点细节会不会更好？ |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 40 多谢！
你说的真是切中要害，本来是想写两节的，后来发现自己英文不太够用，另外也想提速
，就合成一节了
另外还有就是一直没想好Maggie这个角色，到底只是一个过渡触发，还是一个重要人物
，所以写的时候摇摇摆摆。一直到现在也没决定好，感觉写不动了 |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 42 这样结尾也行吗？那就太好了，可以交差了；）
按俺的粗略估计，大概有三分之一吧，不过后面情节编不出来了，要再慢慢捂一下，呵呵 |
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a******e
发帖数: 6689 | 43 作为短篇的话，这个结尾很棒啊。不过这样结尾的话，这一节中间肯定要好好修改一下
，太仓促了；不过要是后面还有两倍的信息，那就无所谓了。
btw，我觉得这个6000 words哪里是短篇小说的量啊，怎么也是中篇了，6000
characters还差不多。我朋友写的小说，快300页，算是挺厚的一本了，也不到五万
words而已。
呵呵 |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 44 好主意！待俺好好想想
6000 words 基本是最大上限了吧，不必非得寫那么多啊，一般兩三千字可能比較合適，
6000 char 稍微少了一點點，我這個5節都有8000多了 |
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a******e
发帖数: 6689 | 45 6000 words排版出来，普通的32开大概能有35页。短篇小说讲究的是短平快，搞出30多
页不就没意思了。
適， |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 46 我覺得還行吧
要不就改叫小小說short-short story，一兩千字解決問題，這個比較痛快哈，就是更
難寫了。照俺英文的羅嗦程度，還沒說清楚呢，就要結束了 |
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a******e
发帖数: 6689 | 47 这样啊。短篇跟中篇怎么分的，难道真是6000词限？ |
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D******6
发帖数: 6211 | 48 完了么？
concern. It was a little girl’s voice.
muttering sound emitted from back of his throat.
the answer she needed from the ambiguous frog-like sound Ray managed to make
. She giggled a little before resumed talking. “Can you open your eyes? I
have something to show you. Oh, wait!” She shouted and hastened to add in a
whisper, “It’s a secret. You’ll know tomorrow.”
squinty eyes, Ray sensed a blurred shadow dissolved into the bright sunlight
of June afternoon. An early summer breeze brought a cl |
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l*r
发帖数: 79569 | 49 恩，可以認為完了，像小柯說的，前面應該在充實一下，不過沒興趣改了：）
make
a
sunlight
freshly |
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D******6
发帖数: 6211 | 50 其实我不喜欢这个故事，你太坏了，把人给写死了。：（ |
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