t*******r
发帖数: 364 | 1 感觉干活已经非常卖力的，干活慢了，就会被吼，快了，出了错，就被批毛糙。 | r******d
发帖数: 8 | 2 For your reference,do you see any similarities in your boss as described
below. This article will tell you what to do. :)
8 Ways to Deal With a Narcissistic Boss
Your boss expects you to answer his emails in minutes. He blames everyone
for everything. Not only does he contradict the things he said just a day or
two before, but sometimes he even argues with facts.
You are working for a narcissist.
A lot of people throw the term around, and it is true that some of the
traits we associate with narcissists—selfishness, taking credit for other
people’s work, temper tantrums–are common enough. But a true narcissist
can make your life miserable.
Complicating the situation is that the ways you might handle problems with
other difficult people might not work with a narcissist, and might even make
things worse.
“No ego can match, never mind annihilate, the ego of the narcissist,”
writes Margaret Heffernan in Willful Blindness. “What you have to decide is
whether their achievement will facilitate your success. If it will, that’s
fine. If these two are at odds, get out now.”
Take a look at the definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or the
take the quiz on PsychCentral.com to get a better idea of the level of
dysfunction you are dealing with. If you’ve got a narcissist making your
work miserable, learning to handle them is essential.
How to Survive a Narcissist Boss
Forget being friends. Narcissists lack empathy, so they are not capable
of true friendships. You might feel betrayed if you think you are becoming
friends with one only to find they act without your interests in mind. If
they are friendly to you, it is because they want something, whether your
attention, your ideas, or anything else.
Don’t criticize them. Simply put, they can’t take it. They not only
won’t take your criticism to heart and try to work on some behavior, they
may become angry. Really angry. Some narcissists can quickly spark into rage
. At best your words will fall on deaf ears. At worst, you’ll be on the
other side of their tantrum.
Focus on analyzing problems. Remember that how you feel isn’t of much
interest to them. You can try expressing your feelings, because they are not
aware of your feeling unless you tell them. But they may understand in some
way, they still won’t feel much about it. Better to focus on concrete ways
to handle problems or conflicts. Give them solutions.
Let them make decisions. Narcissists feel they know best. They tend to
need control, so let them make decisions. Present your ideas in ways that
let them feel they are making decisions. Usually that means giving them
options, then they can choose and that feels good to them.
Make them look and feel good. Everything is about them, so if you make
them feel good, they will be far more tolerable than if they feel you are
doing something—whether it is undermining their authority, criticizing them
, or anything else. They want praise and acknowledgement, so be prepared to
give it to them.
Absorb the blame. Narcissists don’t take responsibility for anything
negative, whether it is a bad culture in the office or declining revenues.
It has to be someone else’s fault.
Set boundaries and keep them. If your narcissist boss behaves in a way
you can’t accept, you must tell them. The trick is, it may not help. But
you have to make boundaries clear as you can. Be sure not to criticize them
in public. And as they saying goes, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine
go down. If you praise them as well as explain your solution to the problem
(yes, they created it, but they don’t care, remember?)
Don’t compete. You may think by getting better results, more sales, or
any other tangible evidence that you are good, or better, than your boss.
Wrong. Remember that the facts aren’t very convincing to the narcissist.
Your better results will come because he taught you. Your award should be
his; after all, you work for him, don’t you? You can’t win. Ever. So don’
t play.
Working for a narcissistic boss requires some tamping down of yourself to
comply with their worldview, or rather, self view. It is not easy. It will
help you survive—until you find a better boss.
【在 t*******r 的大作中提到】
: 感觉干活已经非常卖力的，干活慢了，就会被吼，快了，出了错，就被批毛糙。
| p*l
发帖数: 1359 | 3 问题的根源是为什么你干活的一举一动都会被老板盯着。
有可能是你没取得他的信任，所以他时刻都盯着你。也许是你还没把项目变成自己的，
没法自己推动项目，老板只好步步为营推着你走。也有可能老板就是看不上你。
如果是前两种情况，你得好好想想怎么把主动权争取到。如果你觉得是最后一种，请换
老板或者转行。 |
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