s**i
发帖数: 4448 | 1 At last, my victory over "good" is complete!, July 10, 2012
By
Diablo "The Lord of Terror" (Oregon) - See all my reviews
= Fun:5.0 out of 5 stars
This review is from: Diablo III: Standard Edition (Computer Game)
For the last 15 years, as I served as the constant whipping post for
thousands...nay, MILLIONS of pathetic worms who have plundered my depths and
banished me and my brothers to the soulstones time and time again! NO
LONGER! On May 15 in the year of the Panda, 2012, my plan to claim victory
over the Nine Hells and the High Heavens has come to fruition! Behold, the
chronicle of my journey thus far!
Day 1: Millions of hapless insects gathered with their gold in hand and
their steel drawn as they prepared to storm my doorstep, thinking that I,
the Lord of Terror, would stand idly by as you farmed me for loot. Little
did you suspect that my secret weapon "error 3007" would lay you all low!
Those of you that happened to slip by my net came face to face with my
uberlieutenants-- Lagmodan, The Serverbreaker,and Archbishop Disconnectus.
Day 2-5: See day 1...
Day 6: The delays caused by my impenetrable server defenses allowed me to
fortify the Champions of Hell and overwhelm the puny Nephalem forces when
they finally arrived...such awesome and destructive powers as: Molten QQ,
Plague of Ridiculous Enrage Timers, and Arcane Orbital Repair Bills. To
finalize my triumph, I ensured that any artifacts that my minions were
carrying were at LEAST 5 levels lower and were utterly useless to the would-
be plunderer. Truly the tears of the righteous are as music to my blackened
soul!
Day 7: I rested...
Day 37: I have struck another triumphant blow! I have created a market place
for the Nephalem, which is the only means of obtaining artifacts of any
significant power. However, the true devious nature of this monstrosity is
what makes it so delicious! In order to utilize it, the Nephalem are
required to use a strange currency known as US Dollars, which they cannot
access unless they willingly pay a 30% tithe to the forces of evil!
MUAHAHAHAH! I really intended to slaughter them on day 1 with this device,
but Belial was having trouble getting the Koreans on board with it.
Day 38: Once my demonic auction house of real money was fully operational,
and the sniveling maggots were happily lapping up items of significant power
with which to best my forces...I dropped ANOTHER masterful stroke on them,
claiming yet another victory for Team Hell! I unleashed the Mighty Nerf-alem
Hammer on all treasures under the High Heavens, making them nearly useless.
Many who had spent their precious gold, real and virtual, were now banished
to the Halls of Buyer's Remorse. I used the tears and subsequent blood of
my fallen enemies to fill a bath, and washed myself in the Basin of Greedy
Deception!
Day 45 and counting...: My saga continues to unfold, as many once-hopeful
heroes have abandoned their quest altogether. Perhaps they will have an
easier time slaying pandas soon... Those stalwarts who have chosen to stay,
trapped in my Devilish Hamster Wheel of Doom and cursed to wander the
Malignant Slot Machine of Rmah, do so in the vain hope that "things will get
better." No mortal, they will NOT! Even when you are able to use the
treasure you have purchased against EACH OTHER in Player vs. Player combat (
no, really, it's coming...TRUST me...*evil laugh*), you will still be
subject to my law of Eternal Internet Connection. Only once I've milked
every last dollar and gold piece from these lackeys will I then pull the
plug on the ServerStone forever! Just in time for Heart of the Swarm and
Pandasy Island to be unleashed upon this ripe, unsuspecting world!
Sincerely yours,
Diablo
Lord of Terror
PS. Yesterday, my watchful eye spotted a 59 year old Hardcore Witch Doctor
who was about to celebrate his 60th Season. I unleashed a Latency Storm on
him as he was engaging 3 champion Heralds with "Waller, Plague, Arcane and
Extra Life"...he is now a level 3 HC Monk. O tis fun to be evil!
| k***r
发帖数: 13724 | 2 莫非斯托的日记
我叫莫非斯托，大家都叫我老莫，我原来是一名话剧演员，后来当地来了一个DTH，叫
比恩（BN），收购的市场里的一个地下室，搞了开发，我就被聘请过来了。开的娱乐场
叫“憎恨的囚牢”。共有3层，我这一般唱主场，冒险体验和彩票的混合型娱乐。
我的工作挺轻松的，就是有客人来了，我就装扮好出去，和他们斗法，然后装死，附带
把礼品送给客户。当然斗法基本是特技，我后方有很多特技人员支持，看上去我还是很
狂的一个角色。当然客人也是经过冒险一层层磨砺才到我这的。
有很多客人喜欢在恐怖的环境下体验刺激，英雄行为，所以比恩老板的眼光还是很厉害
的。我在工作很多年了生意一直不错，最近因为钢丝设备出了一些问题，滑动的时候挺
卡，所以有时候不小心把客户放倒了，招致一些投诉，所以生意有点影响。
老板知道企业雇佣残疾人员工在赋税方面的优惠政策，所以腿脚不便但有表演能力的人
也被安排在地下室工作，据说门口搞促销和宣传公司广告，也有残疾人在那表演焰火，
我还从来没去看过。主要的3个演员是瘸子加驼背，驼的厉害，所以被人叫做3C，洋企
业嘛，有个英文名字也挺好，他们自己也挺喜欢的。我有下班后写日记的习惯，现在摘
抄一些大家逗个乐子，也能了解一下我的工作情况....
3月14号
阴转小雨
还在下雨，地下室的潮湿变的严重了，我的关节开始疼了起来，这个毛病是去年留下的
，那个时候门票是109块，当时有挺多壮汉客人来体验冒险，扮相是野蛮人的多，有一
次那个客人可能晚饭喝了酒，什么公司的忘了，反正是招待，我就没太在意，死的快了
一些，哪知他觉得不过瘾，用榨血的法术，我扔出去几个奖品他不满意，硬是要用道具
大斧砍下我的腿，幸亏其他工作人员及时阻拦，可是关节还是受了点伤。每到阴雨天就
开始疼。
今天客人不太多，骑士扮相的占多数，上面的生活水平提高挺快，很多人都租TP+，一
般奖品看不在眼力里，老板成本观念很强，让我们感觉不好做，我自己认为多给点DD下
次他们还回来，不知比恩老板怎么想的。
4月2日
晴
今天来了个女客，挺象罗兰的，不过我已经很久不看电影了，2个孩子上学，家里的经
济也挺紧的，这让我想起年轻的时候无忧的生活，一个人吃饱全家不饿，呵呵…
她很好心，不过胆子挺大，用钢丝瞬移过来，落地的动作很好看，特技师的灯光也及时
，造型不错。她站在离我挺远的地方放雪花，我基本就喜欢放雪花，不容易出意外，倒
下时也不用重摔，轻轻倒下就行了，哀叫的像一点就行。可今天的雪花机有点问题，还
没落地就看不见了，太稀，我没感觉到，所以还站着，那个扮小弟的急了，上来用铁枪
戳了我好几下，我明白过来赶紧倒下，才不至于漏场。下班回去，看到皮也破了，心里
狠狠骂了句那个扮小弟的！不过那个女客倒是挺满意的，因为我扔了一件暗金的大板子
，相当于通用优惠券，在其他商场和小贩那都能打六折。
6月1日
儿童节 晴，加班
今天本来说要休息一下陪孩子，结果老板的加薪很诱人，加上家里老二要去旅游用钱，
所以只好来加班。
今天当然是孩子比较多。不过我们这里一般要有一个大人带着才能进，票价涨到110后
，地下室的面积扩大了，怕青少年迷路，所以单个小孩或年轻的我就不让他们过关，用
吊车送回去的。有大人的带孩子的话我会死的很夸张，这样孩子们喜欢。不过孩子有的
时候好奇，总去看血池里泡的那些模具尸体，结果不是弄脏了衣服就是让“邪恶的力量
”------地下的另一个小角色拍倒。
今天我的笑声比以前更恐怖，不过很有意思，我说：“哈哈...又来让我吐来啦”（
hahaha......you are too late）,孩子们一起大笑，很开心，我倒下的时候故意放了
一些烟火，还扔了一些零钱，小项链什么的，他们上来哄抢，那个大人也很开心的在那
看。
晚上还有好多人，我有点疲惫，不过还是尽全力表演好每次，让客人满意。毕竟今天是
孩子们的节日。我在角落里抽了一根烟，听见前面瘸子喊“老莫，上吧，有客人来了…
”。
7月 ？日
晴转多云
老板今天来给开会，会上强调了服务态度的问题。因为昨天门口的3C们放焰火，差点让
客人受伤，客人主要觉得员工对出了意外以后的弥补态度不好。肯定是那几个C没给客
人什么好礼物，一般客人去正门，无非是想要几个石头字画么，干吗那么抠啊，门票已
经很贵了，我想。
9月9日
晴
比恩老板设计的服装道具在市面上很流行，比如那种材料和石头字画组装的衣服就是，
所以以经营石头字画为主的正门就很热闹，我这反而冷清了不少，基本每次促销活动开
始热闹一番后就冷清了，生意不多，大部分是新客户，总要小心，不然很容易把客人放
倒，还得重来。后来比恩老板想了几招，其中.通票政策就挺好，限制单项冒险，通票
优惠，那大家不得不来第3层玩一玩，我又开始忙乎了…
10月3日
暴雨
地下可能有点漏水，这么大的雨，阴冷的厉害，虽然给客人增加了不少真实的感觉，我
们老哥几个算遭殃了。这几天身体不算太好，倒地和哀叫的都不是很理想，老板有一天
看到过，还轻轻的摇头。我有点预感，担心…..算了，不去想了，干了这么多年也该歇
歇了，脸上的油彩都快渗的皮下了，哎…听说老板在搞个什么WOW的冒险世界比这里的
工程还大。
究竟能有多少客人还能继续现在的冒险活动呢？我无从猜测，好像雨下的更大了，屋顶
滴漏的声音开始变的急促起来….. | a*****e
发帖数: 2194 | 3 lol
he is now a level 3 HC Monk. | g********x
发帖数: 4671 | | n**l
发帖数: 2754 | 5 笑死我了。
and
【在 s**i 的大作中提到】
: At last, my victory over "good" is complete!, July 10, 2012
: By
: Diablo "The Lord of Terror" (Oregon) - See all my reviews
: = Fun:5.0 out of 5 stars
: This review is from: Diablo III: Standard Edition (Computer Game)
: For the last 15 years, as I served as the constant whipping post for
: thousands...nay, MILLIONS of pathetic worms who have plundered my depths and
: banished me and my brothers to the soulstones time and time again! NO
: LONGER! On May 15 in the year of the Panda, 2012, my plan to claim victory
: over the Nine Hells and the High Heavens has come to fruition! Behold, the
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