c*******7
发帖数: 17225 | 1 大便的种类
1.幽灵屎：
就是你已经感觉大出来，但在马桶内找不到屎的那种。
2.清白屎：
就是你把他大出来，看见他在马桶内，但却在卫生纸上找不到痕迹的那种。
3.濡湿屎：
就是你擦屁股五十次之后，仍旧感觉没擦过一样，因此，你得在你的屁股和内裤之
间垫上 一 些卫生纸，免得裤子被沾污的那种。
4.续摊屎：
通常发生在大完之后，把裤子拉上时，你发现还得再多大一些的那一种。
5.额头青筋暴裂屎：
撇条撇得十分辛苦，你几乎用力得挤到血管胀破才能畅通的那种。
6.如释重负屎：
就是数量多到大完后体重减轻五公斤的那种。
7.豪华加长屎：
如此巨大壮观，你担心若不先用马桶刷把他弄碎，可能会冲不掉的那种。
8.气泡屎：
瓦斯含量较高，排出时产生巨大声响，听到的人都忍不住偷笑的那种。
9.玉米粒屎：
一目了然，吃了什么东西都可以看得一清二楚的那种。
10.老天，真希望我可以大出来之屎：
就是你很想大出来，但所有你能做的只有坐在马桶上抽几回筋，放几个空包弹的那
种。
11.骨刺屎：
就是大出来的时候，痛得让你发誓他是横着出来的那种。
12.贱臀屎：
就是飞快的从屁股脱出后，会溅起大量的水花再臀部的那种。
13.液态屎：
黄棕色液体，射出后洒满整个马桶的那种。
14.上等屎：
那种自视甚高，以为别人闻起来没味道的。
15.漂浮屎：
就是当你在公共厕所，外面已经等了两个人，而你已冲水两次，却还有几粒高尔夫
球大小的浮在水面上的那种。
16.酱料屎：
这种情形从来不发生在家里，通常发生在晚会或重要会议，原本只是想放个小屁，
但却演变成裤底的”蕃茄酱”，使得你接下来的时间都得脚开开，用Ｏ型腿走路的那种
。
17.香槟屎：
就是当那块使你便秘已久的”软木塞”，波～～的一声离开之后，会有泡泡状的液
柱流出屁眼的那种。
18.爆破屎：
就是在一个震撼性的屁响之后，你必须检查马桶是否有破裂的那种。
19.驱魔者屎：
黄棕色的液体从你屁眼射出后，洒得到处都是，而屁眼有灼热感，令人想起电影”
鬼哭神号”里面那个呕吐的小女孩。
20.躲猫猫屎：
大到一半他缩回去～然后伸出来～缩回去，一直持续下去。
天下之屎，莫过于此，要不要比对一下，你今天大
的，属于那一类型 ?
发表时间：2010-09-28 21:46:01 |
c*******7
发帖数: 17225 | 2 这个看完了，我都觉得有点恶心。。。大家忍耐吧。。。 |
c********e
发帖数: 42175 | 3 太恶心了。你还能看完？。。。
【在 c*******7 的大作中提到】
: 这个看完了，我都觉得有点恶心。。。大家忍耐吧。。。
|
p*3
发帖数: 45 | |
c*****a
发帖数: 1728 | 5 十年前我就看过的英文版：
>> SHIT LIST !!!
>> ------------------------
>>THE GHOST SHIT
>> The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper,
but
>> there's no shit in the bowl.
>>
>>THE CLEAN SHIT
>> The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there
's
>> no shit on the toilet paper.
>>
>>THE WET SHIT
>> You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end
up
>> putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't
>>ruin
>> them with those dreadful skid marks.
>>
>>THE SECOND WAVE SHIT
>> This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your
knees,
>> and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.
>>
>>THE BRAIN HEMORRAHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT
>> Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead Shit".
>> You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and
>> practically have a stroke.
>>
>>THE CORN SHIT
>> No explanation necessary.
>>
>>THE LINCOLN LOG SHIT
>> The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down
>> without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
>>
>>THE NOTORIUS DRINKER SHIT
>> The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking.
>> It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the
>> toilet bowl after you flush.
>>
>>THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD SHIT" SHIT-
>> The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts
out,
>> all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
>>
>>THE WET CHEEKS SHIT
>> Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of
your
>> ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
>>
>>THE LIQUID SHIT
>> That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt,
>> splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time,
>> chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
>>
>>THE MEXICAN FOOD SHIT
>> A class all its own.
>>
>>THE CROWD PLEASER
>> This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to
>> show it to someone before flushing.
>>
>>THE MOOD ENHANCER
>> This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby
>> allowing you to be your old self again.
>>
>>THE RITUAL
>> This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with
>> the aid of a newspaper.
>>
>>THE GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS SHIT
>> A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.
>>
>>THE AFTERSHOCK SHIT
>> This shit has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity
>> within the next 7 hours is affected.
>>
>>THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" SHIT
>> This is any shit created in the presence of another person.
>>
>>THE GROANER
>> A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
>>
>>THE FLOATER
>> Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to
>> resurface after many flushings.
>>
>>THE RANGER
>> A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in
>> a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to
>> push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.
>>
>>THE PHANTOM SHIT
>> This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to
>> putting it there.
>>
>>THE PEEK-A-BOO SHIT
>> Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is playing games with
>> you. Requires patience and muscle control.
>>
>>THE BOMBSHELL
>> A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either
>> inappropriate to shit (ie. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you
>> are nowhere near shitting facilities.
>>
>>THE SNAKE CHARMER
>> A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening
>> position - usually harmless.
>>
>>THE OLYMPIC SHIT
>> This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any
competitive
>> event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the
>> Drinker's Shit.
>>
>>THE BACK-TO-NATURE SHIT
>> This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the
>> woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
>>
>>THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN SHIT
>> An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from
>> God when you actually CAN'T shit.
>>
>>PREMEDITATED SHIT
>> Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
>>
>>SHITZOPHERENIA
>> Fear of shitting - can be fatal!
>>
>>ENERGIZER vs DURACELL SHIT
>> Also known as a "Still Going" shit.
>>
>>THE POWER DUMP SHIT
>> The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when
>> you're done.
>>
>>THE LIQUID PLUMBER SHIT
>> This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows
all
>> over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln
Log
>> Shit.)
>>
>>THE SPINAL TAP SHIT
>> The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got
to
>> be coming out sideways.
>>
>>THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE" SHIT
>> Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and
size
>> of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains
in
>> the rectum for some time afterwards.
>>
>>THE PORRIDGE SHIT
>> The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You
>> have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up
to
>> your butt while you sit there helpless.
>>
>>THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" SHIT
>> When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of
your
>> rectum on the way out in the morning.
>>
>>THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" SHIT
>> When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles
and
>> make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
>>
>>THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" SHIT
>> Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn
>> anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently
>> near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gaggin and gasping
for
>> air.
>>
>>THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" SHIT
>> Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to
drop
>> off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.
>>
>>-----------------------------end of shit---------------------------------- |
c*******7
发帖数: 17225 | 6 恩。
【在 c********e 的大作中提到】
: 太恶心了。你还能看完？。。。
|
c*******7
发帖数: 17225 | 7 我们来晚啦。。。。
there
【在 c*****a 的大作中提到】
: 十年前我就看过的英文版：
: >> SHIT LIST !!!
: >> ------------------------
: >>THE GHOST SHIT
: >> The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper,
: but
: >> there's no shit in the bowl.
: >>
: >>THE CLEAN SHIT
: >> The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there
|
c********e
发帖数: 42175 | 8 你惹祸啦！！！！一泡屎，引起了洛杉矶版血案。
paper,
力的人。当你在黑夜里向我伸出手的时候，被牵走的不是我的人，而是我的整个灵魂。
【在 c*******7 的大作中提到】
: 我们来晚啦。。。。
:
: there
|
T*U
发帖数: 22634 | |
c*******7
发帖数: 17225 | 10 大哥，你太强了。。。。
【在 T*U 的大作中提到】
: 没PP没真相。
|
|
|
i*********a
发帖数: 6504 | 11 唔，我也能看完^^
【在 c*******7 的大作中提到】
: 这个看完了，我都觉得有点恶心。。。大家忍耐吧。。。
|
c*******7
发帖数: 17225 | 12 哇咔咔，看看就成，不能细想。
【在 i*********a 的大作中提到】
: 唔，我也能看完^^
|
C********h
发帖数: 2374 | 13 第7，豪华加长版的
你呢？
大便的种类
1.幽灵屎：
就是你已经感觉大出来，但在马桶内找不到屎的那种。
2.清白屎：
就是你把他大出来，看见他在马桶内，但却在卫生纸上找不到痕迹的那种。
3.濡湿屎：
就是你擦屁股五十次之后，仍旧感觉没擦过一样，因此，你得在你的屁股和内裤之
间垫上 一 些卫生纸，免得裤子被沾污的那种。
4.续摊屎：
通常发生在大完之后，把裤子拉上时，你发现还得再多大一些的那一种。
5.额头青筋暴裂屎：
撇条撇得十分辛苦，你几乎用力得挤到血管胀破才能畅通的那种。
6.如释重负屎：
就是数量多到大完后体重减轻五公斤的那种。
7.豪华加长屎：
如此巨大壮观，你担心若不先用马桶刷把他弄碎，可能会冲不掉的那种。
8.气泡屎：
瓦斯含量较高，排出时产生巨大声响，听到的人都忍不住偷笑的那种。
9.玉米粒屎：
一目了然，吃了什么东西都可以看得一清二楚的那种。
10.老天，真希望我可以大出来之屎：
就是你很想大出来，但所有你能做的只有坐在马桶上抽几回筋，放几个空包弹的那
种。
11.骨刺屎：
就是大出来的时候，痛得让你发誓他是横着出来的那种。
12.贱臀屎：
就是飞快的从屁股脱出后，会溅起大量的水花再臀部的那种。
13.液态屎：
黄棕色液体，射出后洒满整个马桶的那种。
14.上等屎：
那种自视甚高，以为别人闻起来没味道的。
15.漂浮屎：
就是当你在公共厕所，外面已经等了两个人，而你已冲水两次，却还有几粒高尔夫
球大小的浮在水面上的那种。
16.酱料屎：
这种情形从来不发生在家里，通常发生在晚会或重要会议，原本只是想放个小屁，
但却演变成裤底的”蕃茄酱”，使得你接下来的时间都得脚开开，用Ｏ型腿走路的那种
。
17.香槟屎：
就是当那块使你便秘已久的”软木塞”，波～～的一声离开之后，会有泡泡状的液
柱流出屁眼的那种。
18.爆破屎：
就是在一个震撼性的屁响之后，你必须检查马桶是否有破裂的那种。
19.驱魔者屎：
黄棕色的液体从你屁眼射出后，洒得到处都是，而屁眼有灼热感，令人想起电影”
鬼哭神号”里面那个呕吐的小女孩。
20.躲猫猫屎：
大到一半他缩回去～然后伸出来～缩回去，一直持续下去。
天下之屎，莫过于此，要不要比对一下，你今天大
的，属于那一类型 ?
发表时间：2010-09-28 21:46:01
【在 c*******7 的大作中提到】
: 大便的种类
:
: 1.幽灵屎：
: 就是你已经感觉大出来，但在马桶内找不到屎的那种。
:
: 2.清白屎：
: 就是你把他大出来，看见他在马桶内，但却在卫生纸上找不到痕迹的那种。
:
: 3.濡湿屎：
: 就是你擦屁股五十次之后，仍旧感觉没擦过一样，因此，你得在你的屁股和内裤之
|
s****a
发帖数: 361 | 14 我是12年前看到的。
there
【在 c*****a 的大作中提到】
: 十年前我就看过的英文版：
: >> SHIT LIST !!!
: >> ------------------------
: >>THE GHOST SHIT
: >> The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper,
: but
: >> there's no shit in the bowl.
: >>
: >>THE CLEAN SHIT
: >> The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there
|
s****a
发帖数: 361 | 15 强
【在 T*U 的大作中提到】
: 没PP没真相。
|
J*******s
发帖数: 2708 | 16 oh shit
there
【在 c*****a 的大作中提到】
: 十年前我就看过的英文版：
: >> SHIT LIST !!!
: >> ------------------------
: >>THE GHOST SHIT
: >> The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper,
: but
: >> there's no shit in the bowl.
: >>
: >>THE CLEAN SHIT
: >> The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there
|
