H********g
发帖数: 43926 | 1 【 以下文字转载自 Military 讨论区 】
发信人: qwxqwsean (qiu), 信区: Military
标 题: 美国的厕所文学
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Wed Dec 18 08:51:54 2013, 美东)
例一： Here I sit upon the pooper, giving birth to the next state trooper. | H********g
发帖数: 43926 | 2 韵文系列：
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 1 =----------------------------------
----
Some people come to sit and think.
Others come to shit and stink.
I come here to rest my balls and
Read the words upon the walls.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 2 =----------------------------------
----
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Here I sit in the misty vapor.
Someone stole the toilet paper.
I cannot wait, I cannot linger,
Watch out ass, here comes the finger!
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 3 =----------------------------------
----
Here I sit
What a caper
I have to shit
But I'm out of paper
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 4 =----------------------------------
----
Some people are poor
While others are rich
But a shithouse poet
Is a son of a bitch
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 5 =----------------------------------
----
The painters work is all in vain
The shithouse poet strikes again
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 6 =----------------------------------
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Here I sit in stinking vapor
Some son of a bitch stole the paper!
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 7 =----------------------------------
----
Here I sit
Cheeks a flexin'
Squeezin' out
Another Texan.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 8 =----------------------------------
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To the shithouse poet
When he should die,
There should be erected,
Broad and high,
For his cunning
And for his wit,
A solid monument of shit.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 9 =----------------------------------
----
When this tiolet cleaner finally dies,
He will find erected in the skies,
A tribute to his glorious wit,
A monument of solid shit.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 10 =----------------------------------
----
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 11 =----------------------------------
----
Better that
Than take a chance,
Costs more than a dime
To launder pants.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 12 =----------------------------------
----
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 13 =----------------------------------
----
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 14 =----------------------------------
----
Here I sit
And contemplate.
Should I shit
Or masturbate?
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 15 =----------------------------------
----
Here I sit in dull repose,
That fart you left still burns my nose.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 16 =----------------------------------
----
It makes me wonder, to see such wit,
If Shakespeare had been here to shit.
Some swear they saw Shakespeare walk in,
But others say that fart was Bacon.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 17 =----------------------------------
----
No matter how you move
Or how you dance,
The last drop always winds up
In your pants.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 18 =----------------------------------
----
Give me a muff with thighs on both sides
That's furry and pink all covered with stink;
I don't even care if it's old or it's new,
Cause what the hell, it's something to screw.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 19 =----------------------------------
----
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls...
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 20 =----------------------------------
----
People who write on bathroom walls
Roll their shit into little balls.
Those who read their words of wit,
Eat those little balls of shit.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 21 =----------------------------------
----
Here I sit, buns a-flexin,
Just gave birth to another Texan
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 22 =----------------------------------
----
Here I sit
On the pooper,
Giving birth
To another state trooper.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 23 =----------------------------------
----
(seen during the height of the Iranian/U.S. hostage crisis)
Here I sit, buns a-strainin'
Just gave birth to another Iranian
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 24 =----------------------------------
----
Here I sit, so broken hearted
Paid my dime and only farted.
Yesterday though,
I took a chance,
Saved my dime,
But shit my pants.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 25 =----------------------------------
----
Here I sit, so broken hearted,
Paid my dime and only farted.
First a push, then a squeeze,
And out it came like melted cheese.
Then I had some prunes to eat,
And now there's shit up to the seat. | H********g
发帖数: 43926 | 3 -= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 61 =----------------------------------
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"Here I sat to take a dump.
Out it squirmed, a greasy lump.
Greenish-black, like melting tar
Or oil from an old used car.
It floats a moment, then it sinks.
My chunky cable - how it stinks!
My ass cheeks tremble, my sphincter sighs,
And cramps of exhaustion clench my thighs.
I weep with pride at my slimy shit,
And ROB is the name I give to it!"
- Lord Byron | H********g
发帖数: 43926 | 4 here I sit
arms enfolding
my melting body.
I'm wondering of you
as I slowly become one
with the chair that holds me.
Here I Sit
----------
(as I slowly become one / with the chair that holds me)
:1:
Here I sit down, broken-hearted
Trying to push a yet unstarted
Poem into bright creation -
Oh, the pains of constipation!
Hours have passed, I've merely parted
Rump cheeks and effetely farted
Those weak blasts of wind excluded
Nothing concrete has extruded!
Other assholes far more shitten
In their time have poems written
Am I such a fucked up nerd
That can't shit a single turd?
:2:
As I sit disgorging vapour
My pen rests on toilet paper
Spreading ink out from its tip -
Till the fragile sheets will rip,
And create a sphinctral fissure
Which the pen, with lightest pressure,
Will advance through, triumphally
... deepening my melancholy.
Save me lord from poet's clog!
Spare me this cramped stinky bog!
This unending waiting on
A clammy bum-unfriendly john!
:3:
No! I will not sit and mope!
Yes! I'll sit, with rumbling hope
To my tum a glow imparting,
Wishing shitting, faintly farting,
Till my muse gets off her butt
And proceeds to squeeze my gut -
Then will plop a finely worded
Poem, goldenly bemerded,
In a blaze of spice (and fury
of the evening's hot tandoori
chicken ...) and in one grand motion
I'll have spewed my gut-emotion!
:Epilogue:
So I *will* sit, spouting gas
Even if, in hours that pass,
Crap coats brain and blood runs shitten -
I won't rise till something's written! | c*********r
发帖数: 2733 | | l****t
发帖数: 36289 | 6 lol 最喜欢那个finger 的
另，洋人也有收费厕所啊，一毛一次 |
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