n******8
发帖数: 558 | 1 美国文艺青年评诗
from allpoetry.com
当然一般是礼貌性的， 不过还是有些有意思的， 评的都是我贴的。
Oh my Shangri-La
On that smothering summer day in Alabama,
I breathed as I were in Shangri-La.
You left me behind for a weeklong tour,
to that lost mountain paradise.
I greeted your return as I endure,
all my fervor in disguise.
But my eyes speak love!
But my eyes plead love!
Oh my Shangri-La,
still dwells in Alabama.
On that smothering summer day in Alabama,
I breathed as I were in Shangri-La.
I was blinded by your skin,
fair and milky.
I was numbed by your chin,
velvety and silky.
But my heart sees love!
But my heart feels love!
Oh my Shangri-La,
still dwells in Alabama.
-Wonderful poem. Perhaps one of the best I ever read here. So much emotion
and depth, and it reads so well. Thank you for sharing.
受宠若惊， 不过真丢人， 俺不懂诗里的depth是啥。
When time bypasses
Rain falls, day by day.
River flows, night by night.
Meteors born and burn in Milky Way.
Dawn meets dusk in dwindling twilight.
My hairs fade, grey and gray.
But Time carries on, light and bright.
But time kindly bypassed that day-
I fell for you at first sight.
- Your style is engaging. Repetition of words gave emphasis and imagery.
This poem is short but it is meaningful.
Cross
Cross
I see sins,
I see virtues,
they are closer than they seem.
I carry virtues,
I carry sins,
are they meant to redeem?
Clever work and detailed at best. Strong line length. Keep writing!
又没懂， 这么短， 有 detail？ line length？
Me
The world is a bowl of chilled soup.
I am a stainless fork.
Life is a car climbing the steep hill.
Am I a roaring force of torque?
Love is a standing bottle of vintage wine.
I am a oak cork.
Death is blind to the humble and royal.
Am I a white rose of York?
- It has a settled artistry approach, lots of fantastic word play!
Nicely penned
又没懂，啥是settled artistry approach？ 感觉挺高大上的。 |
d********m
发帖数: 3662 | 2 settled artistry暗指安定下来的艺术家的风格，往往已经没有了灵感，作品多为庸俗
之作。
我瞎扯的 |
wh
发帖数: 141625 | 3 褒义的话指成熟的艺术风格？
【在 d********m 的大作中提到】
: settled artistry暗指安定下来的艺术家的风格，往往已经没有了灵感，作品多为庸俗
: 之作。
: 我瞎扯的
|
d********m
发帖数: 3662 | 4 版主明鉴
【在 wh 的大作中提到】
: 褒义的话指成熟的艺术风格？
|
s*l
发帖数: 9421 | 5 去steemit注册个账号吧，写诗还能挣钱，这个网站属于blockchain网站，去中心化的
社交网站，可能成为将来Facebook的有力竞争者。
【在 n******8 的大作中提到】
: 美国文艺青年评诗
: from allpoetry.com
: 当然一般是礼貌性的， 不过还是有些有意思的， 评的都是我贴的。
: Oh my Shangri-La
: On that smothering summer day in Alabama,
: I breathed as I were in Shangri-La.
: You left me behind for a weeklong tour,
: to that lost mountain paradise.
: I greeted your return as I endure,
: all my fervor in disguise.
|
p******n
发帖数: 2449 | 6 我说你有民谣的风格。
【在 n******8 的大作中提到】
: 美国文艺青年评诗
: from allpoetry.com
: 当然一般是礼貌性的， 不过还是有些有意思的， 评的都是我贴的。
: Oh my Shangri-La
: On that smothering summer day in Alabama,
: I breathed as I were in Shangri-La.
: You left me behind for a weeklong tour,
: to that lost mountain paradise.
: I greeted your return as I endure,
: all my fervor in disguise.
|
n******8
发帖数: 558 | 7 是这个理， 中年油腻， 哪有什么灵感 :-)
【在 d********m 的大作中提到】
: settled artistry暗指安定下来的艺术家的风格，往往已经没有了灵感，作品多为庸俗
: 之作。
: 我瞎扯的
|
n******8
发帖数: 558 | 8 很可能， 我喜欢 folklore， 尤其 paul simon 写的 lyrics
【在 p******n 的大作中提到】
: 我说你有民谣的风格。
|
d********m
发帖数: 3662 | 9 Gram Parsons呢
【在 n******8 的大作中提到】
: 很可能， 我喜欢 folklore， 尤其 paul simon 写的 lyrics
|
n******8
发帖数: 558 | 10 真没听说过， 不过我听过的很少很少， 现在在补课， google 了一下， wiki 说他结
合country和Rock
【在 d********m 的大作中提到】
: Gram Parsons呢
|
d********m
发帖数: 3662 | 11 嗯，他不是民谣。但是我听paul simon那会经常一起就着他听
【在 n******8 的大作中提到】
: 真没听说过， 不过我听过的很少很少， 现在在补课， google 了一下， wiki 说他结
: 合country和Rock
|
