w**w
发帖数: 17 | 1 ZXCVBNMWUJI (无极) 于 (Sun Oct 31 22:38:21 2010, 美东) 提到:
面试碰到的尴尬事:
我的第一个面试的一个面试官是一个看上去很和蔼的老先生，进去后他一上来就笑眯眯
的问，你是怎么认识Dr.XXX 的？Dr.XXX是我到美国后的第一个老板。我说，您认识他
？他微笑地点头,说Dr.XXX跟他一起在 XXX做的resident。我于是精神为之一振，把我
当初出国如何联系Dr.XXX到他那儿做POSTDOC 给绘声绘色了一遍，末了还加了一句类似
“Heis the nicest person I've ever met.”之类的评论。面试官耐心听我说完，然
后仍然笑眯眯地说：“Well, I was not getting along with him very well at
thattime.”
☆─────────────────────────────────☆
DrNewbie (NN) 于 (Sun Oct 31 23:33:50 2010, 美东) 提到:
You could have said back, Ohh, he must have changed quite a bit.
Or he only gets along well with suck-ups. I jam him up real good. | w**w
发帖数: 17 | 2 Does it matter whether he has changed or not? NO! The best way is to switch
gears right away with a neutral, courteous comment. 'Sorry to hear that' is
NOT nice at all. Either is 'u got me'. You really have no idea what happened
between these two. Could be something nasty. Or his reply could be just a
joke. Either way, it is best not to get involved. Along this line, there is
no reason to be 'SINCERELY' sorry for it. The 'sorry' line can be
interpreted in a bad way: 'You are sorry because I am an ass?'. Better say
something neutral without offending either side. 'You got it' works only
when he was really joking. What if he was serious? It would be even more
awkward.
There isnt any good answer for this awkward situation. Only an immature
person would give you a hard time like this. If a person reply in a
courteous way, he wins votes. My answer shows integrity, honor and wit. It
wins respects from others. The best dealing with this situation is a polite
short answer and a quick switch to other topics.
The beauty of my reply is that it does NOT offend either party. Of course,
the tone and your body language determines how the msg is delivered and how
it will be received. It is saying I dont know his past. All I know he is the
nicest person. If what you said about him is true that he was hard to get
along, he is very nice now.
'"I don't know why he treats you and me differently" could be taken as very
offensive. Right? 'It is because I am an ass?'
2-4 are for laughs only. Hope everyone here knows when to chuckle on a joke.
For the people who cant figure out when a joke is told. Here are some clues
眯: 的问，你是怎么认识Dr.XXX 的？Dr.XXX是我到美国后的第一个老板。我说，您认
识他: ？他微笑地点头,说Dr.XXX跟他一起在 XXX做的resident。我于是精神为之一振
，把我: 当初出国如何联系Dr.XXX到他那儿做POSTDOC 给绘声绘色了一遍，末了还加了
一句类似: “Heis the nicest person I've ever met.”之类的评论。面试官耐心听
我说完，然: 后仍然笑眯眯地说：“Well, I was not getting along with him very
well at that time.” | w**w
发帖数: 17 | 3 I am sure there are better ways to handle this thorny situation. Shall we
try to figure out the best line here? | k**e
发帖数: 2728 | 4 我明天问问我老板和其他实验室的人。
先谢谢你这么努力分析。
【在 w**w 的大作中提到】
: I am sure there are better ways to handle this thorny situation. Shall we
: try to figure out the best line here?
| d**o
发帖数: 618 | 5 I asked someone who was a member of the admission committee at a top10 U.S.
medical school, and had a heck lot of interviewing experience. My email and
her answer pasted here.
> I have another random question. During interviews, sometimes the
> >interviewer came up with a follow-up question that put me in an awkward
> >position, and I'm not exactly sure what's the best way to answer. For
> >example, one interviewer would ask with a smile "How did you meet Dr. X
> >(one of my advisers)? I knew him because we cooperated many years ago."
> >I'm of course happy that there is a connection, so I would describe my
> >encounter with Dr. X in great detail, and say something like Dr. X is
> >the nicest person I've ever met. But then the interviewer would
> >follow-up, still with a smile, and say "actually, I was not getting
> >along with him very well at that time." What shall I say in this awkward
> >situation? Shall I try to sympathize with him and say "sorry to hear
> >that, I don't why he treated you and me differently"? Or shall I
> >reaffirm my position and say "he must have changed a lot"? Or shall I
> >just downplay and say "you got me"?
I think the best way to deal with it is to just say something like "I'm
sorry you had that experience." Nothing more is indicated. But, it's
very odd for an interviewer to put you on the spot like that. Shows poor
interviewing skills on his/her part. | w**w
发帖数: 17 | 6 Many thanks to show us the ropes here.
Here is my take:
If you ask you your consultant that you want to reaffirm your position, of course it is not very appropriate. But if you say it in a way that it serves only as a topic switching comment and in a non-confrontational fashion, it is actually a better choice. The 'must have changed' line does not intend to argue whether he is a nice person or not. The personal issues of his boss is NOT relevant to his important IV. It is NOT worth debating about. Saying this by no means is to contradict the interviewer's opinion. See below from someone else:
"Option 3) ‘I guess he must have changed.' --Probably the best of your
suggestions, in my opinion - you are sticking by your original opinion
of the advisor, whilst acknowledging that the old man might have had a
different experience. It is a good, diplomatic response.".
Sorry, Daisyy, Doc put this outside his club into his blog. So, it is a fair game. Besides, he has made his club private. It is a moot point now. I do appreciate your integrity. Your truth searching spirit is quite honorable. | k**e
发帖数: 2728 | 7 赞！谢谢豆角的信息。我觉得这个主题讨论的真好。不过话说回来，你那个email里讲
的也对，这只能说明那个人问了一个不合时宜的问题。不过这种情况，恐怕就得化解一
下困境了。我喜欢这个答复，"I am sorry you have that kind of exprience."或者
再加一句，he must have changed after so many years...?
.
and
【在 d**o 的大作中提到】
: I asked someone who was a member of the admission committee at a top10 U.S.
: medical school, and had a heck lot of interviewing experience. My email and
: her answer pasted here.
: > I have another random question. During interviews, sometimes the
: > >interviewer came up with a follow-up question that put me in an awkward
: > >position, and I'm not exactly sure what's the best way to answer. For
: > >example, one interviewer would ask with a smile "How did you meet Dr. X
: > >(one of my advisers)? I knew him because we cooperated many years ago."
: > >I'm of course happy that there is a connection, so I would describe my
: > >encounter with Dr. X in great detail, and say something like Dr. X is
| w**w
发帖数: 17 | 8 One thing I want to add is that It is a big NO-NO to bad mouth your current
boss at an interview. Even your interviewer has grudge against your current
boss as well, you CANT get on the slippery slope of complaining about him. If
you talk bad behind his back, you can do the same behind my back, right?
【在 w**w 的大作中提到】
: Many thanks to show us the ropes here.
: Here is my take:
: If you ask you your consultant that you want to reaffirm your position, of course it is not very appropriate. But if you say it in a way that it serves only as a topic switching comment and in a non-confrontational fashion, it is actually a better choice. The 'must have changed' line does not intend to argue whether he is a nice person or not. The personal issues of his boss is NOT relevant to his important IV. It is NOT worth debating about. Saying this by no means is to contradict the interviewer's opinion. See below from someone else:
: "Option 3) ‘I guess he must have changed.' --Probably the best of your
: suggestions, in my opinion - you are sticking by your original opinion
: of the advisor, whilst acknowledging that the old man might have had a
: different experience. It is a good, diplomatic response.".
: Sorry, Daisyy, Doc put this outside his club into his blog. So, it is a fair game. Besides, he has made his club private. It is a moot point now. I do appreciate your integrity. Your truth searching spirit is quite honorable.
| w**w
发帖数: 17 | 9 It just dawn to me that some of you do not know what newbie means. Here is
a link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newbie
DrNewbie = DrNewcomer != DrNB.
current
current
If
【在 w**w 的大作中提到】
: One thing I want to add is that It is a big NO-NO to bad mouth your current
: boss at an interview. Even your interviewer has grudge against your current
: boss as well, you CANT get on the slippery slope of complaining about him. If
: you talk bad behind his back, you can do the same behind my back, right?
| s*******1
发帖数: 428 | 10 Yes, Dr. Newbie, we all know what newbie means. I learned this word the
first time from a TV show called "Scrubs": they call Dr. DJ "Newbie". I
think it is good that you explained it here, because maybe someone who uses
"COW-STYLE" kind of English can not understand what NEWBIE means. If that
person translates the word into Chinese directly, the person may
misunderstand.
I laughed so hard when I first read the "COW-STYLE", I thought it meant
coward, then I figured it out it is the direct translation from Chinese. So
hilarious.
is
【在 w**w 的大作中提到】
: It just dawn to me that some of you do not know what newbie means. Here is
: a link:
: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newbie
: DrNewbie = DrNewcomer != DrNB.
:
: current
: current
: If
| s*******1
发帖数: 428 | 11 Thanks !
.
and
【在 d**o 的大作中提到】
: I asked someone who was a member of the admission committee at a top10 U.S.
: medical school, and had a heck lot of interviewing experience. My email and
: her answer pasted here.
: > I have another random question. During interviews, sometimes the
: > >interviewer came up with a follow-up question that put me in an awkward
: > >position, and I'm not exactly sure what's the best way to answer. For
: > >example, one interviewer would ask with a smile "How did you meet Dr. X
: > >(one of my advisers)? I knew him because we cooperated many years ago."
: > >I'm of course happy that there is a connection, so I would describe my
: > >encounter with Dr. X in great detail, and say something like Dr. X is
| w**w
发帖数: 17 | 12 The 'sorry line' might work. But I want to make a point that there arent
any good answers to this. The best you can shoot for is not to slip out
anything bad.
My daughter actually has the best answer. And she is self-taught at the age of 2 yrs old. When she does not know the answer to my question, she would point to the TV and say look, sisters are dancing. And I fell for it the first time. I was clueless and had kept on asking her the same question till my mom broke it to me. Now she learned it is a good tactic to dodge my questions. How can I make her face the tough questions and BE A GIRL?
【在 s*******1 的大作中提到】
: Thanks !
:
: .
: and
| s*****y
发帖数: 96 | 13 这个问题没有标准答案，仁者见仁，智者见智。不管说什么都比什么都不说楞在那里强。
幽默是化解尴尬最好的方式。当我看到NN的提议”He must have changed quite a bit
"的时候，我脑海中想像的和她的初衷可能不太一样，我想到的是以风趣开玩笑的方式
说的，而不是以严肃的方式推断，因为无极的mentor可能根本一点都没有变，只是两人
有什么过节不代表其中任何一个人不是easy going，他们两个可能都是nice people。
“must have”在这里是虚拟的，有猜测的意思在里面。后来看到豆角的post，也很喜
欢他的建议，觉得先应该照顾interviewer的感受，说一下“sorry to hear that”。 | w**w
发帖数: 17 | 14 The body language that goes with #1 is a smile. And a lower tone on 'Ohh', and 'must'. It is NOT a serious argument. It does NOT matter whether he has changed or not. Or what he was like and what he is like now. It is saying the past is the past. It is just a polite, unoffensive response to diffuse the tension and help transition to the IV pertinent topics. And it is always good to say something positive about your mentor even if he is an ass. Actually, an "ohh" works too. It is okay to be embarrassed when some1 gives you a hard time. It is a very natural response.
强。
bit
【在 s*****y 的大作中提到】
: 这个问题没有标准答案，仁者见仁，智者见智。不管说什么都比什么都不说楞在那里强。
: 幽默是化解尴尬最好的方式。当我看到NN的提议”He must have changed quite a bit
: "的时候，我脑海中想像的和她的初衷可能不太一样，我想到的是以风趣开玩笑的方式
: 说的，而不是以严肃的方式推断，因为无极的mentor可能根本一点都没有变，只是两人
: 有什么过节不代表其中任何一个人不是easy going，他们两个可能都是nice people。
: “must have”在这里是虚拟的，有猜测的意思在里面。后来看到豆角的post，也很喜
: 欢他的建议，觉得先应该照顾interviewer的感受，说一下“sorry to hear that”。
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