M***D
发帖数: 249 | 1 In last a couple of days, I have read a lot of posts on this medical
practice website regarding the tragic shooting accident happened at Newtown
in CT. From the point of mental health care, I would like to talk about the
population of “second victims”---the surviving family members of the
shooter Adam Lanza. How can they cope with the death of Nancy Lanza and Adam
Lanza? How can they carry the unbearable guilty feelings caused by the
brutal kills of 20 children and 6 teachers by Adam Lanza?
I don’t think any parents out there are looking forward to raising children
with severe mental illness that may later result in this kind of suicidal
and homicidal tragedy. Also I don’t know how many parents out there who
are raising children with severe mental illness are becoming more sleepless,
restless or even paranoid. Maybe they have already removed all the guns at
their homes, or maybe they have sent their mentally ill children to a locked
down psychiatric unit just for “safety precautions”, or maybe they feel
themselves will become crazy soon from raising their mentally ill children.
I have watched a movie “My name is Khan” several times. Khan has Asperger
’s disorder and was raised by his mother in Mumbai. He had not been
diagnosed with Asperger’s disorder until he grew up as an adult and
immigrated to America. Later due to his poor social communication from his
Asperger’s disorder, he was misunderstood and put in prison as a “
terrorist”. In the movie, Khan has to state repeatedly "My name is Khan and
I am not a terrorist”.
How can we help these mentally ill patients and their families besides
advocating better gun control? For example, if you feel a toddler may suffer
from autistic spectrum disorder based on your doctor’s instincts during a
quick follow up office visit for this patient’s ear infection, while you
spend some extra time to do M-CHAT screening while you are running a busy
clinic alone? Or if you find another child is really “wired” when you pick
up your own child at school, will you have the gut to step forward, to talk
with the school teachers and to suggest a functional behavioral assessment
for that child?
Like one of the victims Emilie Parker's father said “It's a horrific
tragedy and I want everyone to know our hearts and prayers go out to them.
This includes the family of the shooter. I can’t imagine how hard this
experience must be for you and I want you to know our family … love and
support goes out to you as well.” So please do not forget the populatio of
the second victims during our daily clinical practice. | A*******s
发帖数: 9638 | 2 While I understand your point, I believe the current priority is not on
these secondary victims.
We need to prevent the things happen again. If I were those secondary
victims, I would turn in my gun and let primary victims shoot me without
resistance. You know those parents are not going to shoot them, but did
they do anything yet? Heck, no!
They just hide behind, probably think it was not their fault.
I am sorry. I am just mad with this shooting. | M***D
发帖数: 249 | 3 Liza Long is an author, musician, and erstwhile classicist. She is also a
single mother of four bright, loved children, one of whom has special needs.
On 12/15/2012, Liza Long wrote following article.
Three days before Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a
classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (
name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.
“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the
black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.
“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black
or khaki pants only.”
“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch.
I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”
“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable,
reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re
grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I
will take you to school.”
I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.
A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then
himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9
year old siblings knew the safety plan—they ran to the car and locked the
doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael,
then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single
Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued
to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.
That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic
wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local
emergency room. The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and
Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a
prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric
psychiatrist.
We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD,
Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed
around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and
counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of
antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of
behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.
At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated
program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the
charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects
ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and
Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But
when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him
off.
Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting
increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer
him to the district’s most restrictive behavioral program, a contained
school environment where children who can’t function in normal classrooms
can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30-1:50 Monday
through Friday until they turn 18.
The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the
drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we
turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry
. Can I have video games back today?”
“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and
think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”
His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m
going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right
now and kill myself.”
That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those
words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands
, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane,
turning left instead of right.
“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going
?”
“You know where we are going,” I replied.
“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending
me straight to hell!”
I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the
clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said
“Hurry.”
Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him
close so he couldn’t escape from the car. He bit me several times and
repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I’m still stronger than he
is, but I won’t be for much longer.
The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the
bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I
filled out the paperwork—“Were there any difficulties with… at what age
did your child… were there any problems with… has your child ever
experienced... does your child have…”
At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a
local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid
like this, you need benefits. You’ll do anything for benefits. No
individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.
For days, my son insisted that I was lying—that I made the whole thing up
so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on
him, he said, “I hate you. And I’m going to get my revenge as soon as I
get out of here.”
By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to
get better. I’ve heard those promises for years. I don’t believe them
anymore.
On the intake form, under the question, “What are your expectations for
treatment?” I wrote, “I need help.”
And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes
there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in
hindsight, it will all make sense.
I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan
Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am
Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and
their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy,
it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.
According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms
have occurred throughout the country. Of these, 43 of the killers were white
males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the
killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign
of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S.
live in fear, like I do.
When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only
thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back
in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only
way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to
you unless you’ve got charges.”
I don’t believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates
Michael’s sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn’t deal with the
underlying pathology. But it seems like the United States is using prison as
the solution of choice for mentally ill people.
According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S.
prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise—in fact, the
rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in
the non-incarcerated population.
With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the
last resort for the mentally ill—Rikers Island, the LA County Jail and Cook
County Jail in Illinois housed the nation’s largest treatment centers in
2011.
No one wants to send a 13-year old genius who loves Harry Potter and his
snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on
mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with
other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant.
A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, “
Something must be done.”
I agree that something must be done. It’s time for a meaningful, nation-
wide conversation about mental health. That’s the only way our nation can
ever truly heal.
God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.
【在 A*******s 的大作中提到】
: While I understand your point, I believe the current priority is not on
: these secondary victims.
: We need to prevent the things happen again. If I were those secondary
: victims, I would turn in my gun and let primary victims shoot me without
: resistance. You know those parents are not going to shoot them, but did
: they do anything yet? Heck, no!
: They just hide behind, probably think it was not their fault.
: I am sorry. I am just mad with this shooting.
| A*******s
发帖数: 9638 | 4 A nice ,nice read. This mother is not a secondary victim, but a potential
one.
Yes, we should not only talk about guns, we also need more care for those
mentally illed patients.
But legally we only can do something about the gun, we are limited by human
rights to take care of these patients.
needs.
the
【在 M***D 的大作中提到】
: Liza Long is an author, musician, and erstwhile classicist. She is also a
: single mother of four bright, loved children, one of whom has special needs.
: On 12/15/2012, Liza Long wrote following article.
: Three days before Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a
: classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (
: name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.
: “I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the
: black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.
: “They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black
: or khaki pants only.”
| M****a
发帖数: 577 | 5 这文章太震撼了。。。
needs.
the
【在 M***D 的大作中提到】
: Liza Long is an author, musician, and erstwhile classicist. She is also a
: single mother of four bright, loved children, one of whom has special needs.
: On 12/15/2012, Liza Long wrote following article.
: Three days before Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a
: classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (
: name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.
: “I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the
: black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.
: “They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black
: or khaki pants only.”
| z******1
发帖数: 666 | 6 Very good point. This is what I want to say.
The physician Assistant Parker,one of the victim father,is a idiot.
He lost his independent thinking. He was kneeling because of his habit
formed as a servant.
All shooter family deserved death.
【在 A*******s 的大作中提到】
: While I understand your point, I believe the current priority is not on
: these secondary victims.
: We need to prevent the things happen again. If I were those secondary
: victims, I would turn in my gun and let primary victims shoot me without
: resistance. You know those parents are not going to shoot them, but did
: they do anything yet? Heck, no!
: They just hide behind, probably think it was not their fault.
: I am sorry. I am just mad with this shooting.
| A*******s
发帖数: 9638 | 7 I am not saying they deserved to die. As the article hinted above, the
murder's mother was very likely an unfortunate one who had a son like that.
We should feel blessed not to have a mental illed child , shouldn't we?
【在 z******1 的大作中提到】
: Very good point. This is what I want to say.
: The physician Assistant Parker,one of the victim father,is a idiot.
: He lost his independent thinking. He was kneeling because of his habit
: formed as a servant.
: All shooter family deserved death.
| z******1
发帖数: 666 | 8 What I am thinking is that not all mental ill children are killers.
A family should be partially responsible for a mental ill child to kill
somebody else.
.
【在 A*******s 的大作中提到】
: I am not saying they deserved to die. As the article hinted above, the
: murder's mother was very likely an unfortunate one who had a son like that.
: We should feel blessed not to have a mental illed child , shouldn't we?
:
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