xt
发帖数: 17532 | 1 这是一本即将出版的新书，是个在加州的加拿大白人
写的，很有意思。
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
里面有个很长的list，写了他们喜欢什么，比如这个：
#117 Political Prisoners
For the most part, this list has offered ways to befriend white people one
at a time. However, if you want to befriend a large number of white people
at the same time, the easiest way to do it is to go to jail for political
reasons.
White people love political prisoners because they are individuals who have
been locked up because their beliefs or their presence stands in defiance of
an unjust system. In fact, most white people would love to be locked up for
their beliefs provided that they could go to a jail with private toilets,
plenty of books and no rape.
Instead, white people are forced to turn those dreams of oppression into
something more productive. Specifically the belief that one day their law
degree, graphic design skill, or ability to attend a concert can be used to
free a political prisoner.
If you happen to be this individual, then you have no further work to do.
White people already like you and will provide for you financially in the
form of book deals, commencement addresses, and documentaries. But do not
assume that these are the only people who can benefit from their time in
jail.
Political prisoners make excellent choices whenever a white person asks you
to name a personal hero. If they drop an answer like “Kurt Cobain” or “
Toni Morrison” you can easily trump them by offering up a name like Mumia
Abu Jamal or Nelson Mandela which will show white people that you are smart,
well informed, and political. Or that you own at least one Rage Against
the Machine CD.
But what if you pick the wrong political prisoner? Impossible. This is
because political prisoners do not exist until a famous white person has
drawn attention to them. Until that point, any person who has been locked up
for their beliefs is just a regular prisoner and subsequently not worthy of
graffiti stencils.
Conversely, if you ever find yourself needing to end a friendship with a
white person you can simply say something like “well, he’s a criminal he
belongs in jail. I don’t care what the Beastie Boys have to say about it.”
End of friendship. | s***q
发帖数: 10585 | 2 这本书很好，充分展示了白人骨子里“白人至上”的种族主义倾向
【在 xt 的大作中提到】
: 这是一本即将出版的新书，是个在加州的加拿大白人
: 写的，很有意思。
: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
: 里面有个很长的list，写了他们喜欢什么，比如这个：
: #117 Political Prisoners
: For the most part, this list has offered ways to befriend white people one
: at a time. However, if you want to befriend a large number of white people
: at the same time, the easiest way to do it is to go to jail for political
: reasons.
: White people love political prisoners because they are individuals who have
| l*****i
发帖数: 20533 | | p******u
发帖数: 14642 | | xt
发帖数: 17532 | | w**f
发帖数: 292 | 6 这个描述的很准确。。把白人的虚伪和优越感都写出来了
#115 Promising to Learn a New Language
Throughout history, white people have a pretty poor record when it comes to
promises (see Americans, Native for examples). Thankfully, modern white
people are trying to erase the shame of the past by making promises to
themselves that they will never keep.
Writing a novel, going vegan, or sending their future kid to public school
are just a few of these great breakable promises. But by far the most
common self improvement promise is to learn a new language.
This plan is first formulated when white people realize that two years of
college Italian does not confer fluency. For the most part, these classes
will only teach a white person how to order food in a restaurant, ask for a
train schedule, and over pronounce words when they are mixed into English.
Amazingly this small amount of proficiency is more than enough to warrant
inclusion on a resume under “spoken languages.”
For many white people the lack of a second language is their greatest secret
shame. It fills them with so much shame that they will literally spend the
rest of their lives promising to learn a new language, but not so much
shame that they will actually do it.
When it comes to learning a new language, white people can follow a few
paths, the most common of which is to try to learn a language that is
popular in their current city.
For example, white people in places like Los Angeles or Austin, TX will
often promise to learn Spanish in hopes of being able to ask local taco
stands about whether or not their carne asada is grass fed (”¿Ha leí
do usted Michael Pollan?”).
In order to reach this level of fluency and obnoxiousness, white people
believe they must put themselves into a local immersion. This means a
promise to watch only Spanish language TV, listen only to Spanish language
radio, read Marquez in his native tongue, and watch foreign films with the
subtitles turned off. There are some instances of white people doing this
for almost a week!
When this technique is unavailable or fails, white people will immediately
turn to books and computer software as a last ditch effort to make good on
their promise. After about a week, most white people will give up and blame
someone for their failure (”this software is terrible,” “there aren’t
enough people in Portland who speak Farsi!”). But rather than discarding
the books and software packaging, white people will simply put them in the
most visible part of their book shelf. This allows white people to believe
that they have not failed since they can resume their studies at any time
until their death.tacotruck
Since learning a new language is something that most white people fail at,
it should be approached with extreme caution. When you hear a white person
say that they speak your native language, you will probably think it’s a
good idea to start talking to them in said language. WRONG! Instead you
should say something like “you speak (insert language)?” to which they
will reply “a little” in your native tongue. If you just leave it here,
the white person will feel fantastic for the rest of the day. If you push
it any further and speak quickly, the white person will just look at you
with a blank stare. Within a minute you will notice that blank stare has
shifted from confusion to contempt. You have shamed them and your chance
for friendship is ruined forever.
Finally, though they won’t admit it, white people do not believe that
learning English is difficult. This is because if it were true, then that
would mean that their housekeeper, gardener, mother-in-law (if they are an
elite white person) are smarter than them. Needless to say, this
realization would destroy their entire universe.
The best technique is to just tell white people what they really want to
hear: “You should move to (insert country) so you can really learn the
language.” They will agree instantly and lament their employer’s lack of
an office there. Share this lament and you can enjoy a gigantic increase in
trust and friendship from that white person. |
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