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发帖数: 8125 | 1 11. For every mile driven in an illegal car, Terrelle Pryor ordered to drive
one mile in a Barbie Jeep
10. Ohio State must incorporate the phrase "I mean, everyone does ... kills
people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me" into the official
fight song.
9. Freshman reading requiremets are doubled as "Pinocchio" is added to the
cirriculum
8. Gold pants for victories against hated rival Michigan replaced by items
from the 50-cent vending machine in the Denny's foyer
7. Polygraph training now mandatory in fall two-a-days
6. Ohio State ordered to make the cannabis leaf the official helmet sticker
5. Script "Ohio" must be replaced by ALL CAPS so that nobody can "dot the i"
4. Tattoo artists and car dealers now count against the 85-scholarship limit
(soon to be 65-scholarship limit)
3. All "W.W.J.D." bracelets replaced with "J.W.P.B." (meaning "Jesus Wouldn'
t Play for the Buckeyes")
2. All Buckeyes who received illegal tattoos must give them back
1. Ohio State must announce John Cooper as its new head coach ASAP
"You will suffer humiliation when the team from my area defeats the team
from your area." -- The Onion |
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