L******k
发帖数: 33825 | 1 最近有一篇文章在Facebook, twitter上频频被转，Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets
people make on their deathbed，它的原文是一名叫Bronnie Ware的护士写的。Bron
nie Ware专门照顾那些临终病人，所以有机会听到很多人临终前说出他们一生里最后悔
的事。她作了一个概括，有5件事是大多数人最后悔的。
很好奇为什么这么多人转载它，也许，因为这是一种你永远无法提前经历的事吧。你不
会时常面对别人的死亡，你更不怎么时常有机会听到一个临终前的人告诉你他最后悔的
事是什么。而即便你听到，你又会觉得自己来日方长。我们似乎永远无法感同身受；也
许，只有我们自己的生命到了尽头时，我们才会意识到自己究竟错过了什么，最后悔什
么。
1. 我希望当初我有勇气过自己真正想要的生活，而不是别人希望我过的生活。
这是所有后悔的事中最常听到的。
心理学上有个理论，较之那些我们做过的事，人们后悔的往往是那些没做的事。所以当
人们在生命尽头往回看时，往往会发现有好多梦想应该实现，却没有实现。你的生活方
式、你的工作、你的感情、你的伴侣，其实我们多少人过着的是别人希望你过的生活，
而不是自己真正想要的生活——又可能，一直以来你把别人希望你过的生活当作是你想
要的生活。
当你疾病缠身时，才发现其实自己应该而且可以放下很多顾虑追求你要的生活，似乎已
经晚了一点。
2. 我希望当初我没有花这么多精力在工作上。
Ware说这是她照顾过的每一个男病人会说的话。因为工作，他们错过了关注孩子成长的
乐趣，错过了爱人温暖的陪伴，这是他们最深的后悔与愧疚。其实对于现在的职业女性
来说，这也将成为一个问题。
如果把你的生活变简单些，你也许会发现自己在做很多你以为你需要做其实不需要你做
的事。腾出那些事占的空间，可能你会过得开心一点。
3. 我希望当初我能有勇气表达我的感受。
太多的人压抑自己的感受与想法，只是为了“天下太平”，不与别人产生矛盾。渐渐他
们就成了中庸之辈，无法成为他们可以成为的自己。其实，有很多疾病与长期压抑愤怒
与消极情绪有关。
也许当你直言不讳，你会得罪某些人。但可能从此以后因为你的中肯，你们不打不相识
；又或者翻脸，正好让你摆脱这种需要你压抑自己感受才能维持的累人关系。不管哪一
种结果，你都是赢家，不是吗？——不过当然，直言不讳还是有底线的。
4. 我希望当初我能和朋友保持联系。
老朋友的好，我们总要到自己有事了的时候才会想到。
多少人因为自己忙碌的生活忽略了朋友忽略了曾经闪亮的友情。很多人临终前终于放下
钱、放下权，却放不下心中的情感与牵挂。朋友也好，爱人也罢，其实生命最后的日子
里，他们才是我们最深的惦念。
5. 我希望当初我能让自己活过开心点。
也许有点出乎意料，但这一条也在前5之中。很多人直到生命的最后才发现，“快乐是选
择”。
他们在自己既定习惯和生活方式中太久了，习惯了掩饰，习惯了伪装，习惯了在人前堆
起笑脸。就像五月天的那首歌，“你不是真正的快乐，你的笑只是你给的保护色”。他
们以为是生活让他们不快乐，其实是他们自己让自己不快乐了。
是只有临终的时候才会发现，别人怎么看你又有什么关系呢，傻也好，怪也罢，能有真
心的笑，比什么都值得。
Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed
By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life ot
hers expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life
is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dream
s have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of th
eir dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made,
or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along th
e way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health bri
ngs a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children'
s youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret.
But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had n
ot been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so m
uch of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it
is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating m
ore space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunitie
s, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As
a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they w
ere truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitt
erness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may init
ially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end
it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that o
r it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win
.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until th
eir dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had
become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships
slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friend
ships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends w
hen they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when
you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fal
l away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible.
But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They
want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually
though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all come
s down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the
final weeks,love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that h
appiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The
so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well a
s their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to
their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laug
h properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from y
our mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again,long before you
are dying. | L******k
发帖数: 33825 | 2 人人上看到的
http://blog.renren.com/blog/236079594/731563332
regrets
Bron
【在 L******k 的大作中提到】
: 最近有一篇文章在Facebook, twitter上频频被转，Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets
: people make on their deathbed，它的原文是一名叫Bronnie Ware的护士写的。Bron
: nie Ware专门照顾那些临终病人，所以有机会听到很多人临终前说出他们一生里最后悔
: 的事。她作了一个概括，有5件事是大多数人最后悔的。
: 很好奇为什么这么多人转载它，也许，因为这是一种你永远无法提前经历的事吧。你不
: 会时常面对别人的死亡，你更不怎么时常有机会听到一个临终前的人告诉你他最后悔的
: 事是什么。而即便你听到，你又会觉得自己来日方长。我们似乎永远无法感同身受；也
: 许，只有我们自己的生命到了尽头时，我们才会意识到自己究竟错过了什么，最后悔什
: 么。
: 1. 我希望当初我有勇气过自己真正想要的生活，而不是别人希望我过的生活。
| g*******a
发帖数: 31586 | | l*****z
发帖数: 13617 | 4 是得想想。。。慢慢在做自己想做的事，做自己开心的事，认识到自己不是为别人活的
。。。 | m******g
发帖数: 3253 | | l*****z
发帖数: 13617 | | I*D
发帖数: 40035 | 7 靠， 我竟然做的全是不后悔的。太神奇了，我可以毫无遗憾的死去了 | e*********n
发帖数: 4599 | 8 恭喜你
【在 I*D 的大作中提到】
: 靠， 我竟然做的全是不后悔的。太神奇了，我可以毫无遗憾的死去了
| t*d
发帖数: 3386 | 9 男人年轻时候总应该吃点苦的
【在 l*****z 的大作中提到】
: 是得想想。。。慢慢在做自己想做的事，做自己开心的事，认识到自己不是为别人活的
: 。。。
| M****S
发帖数: 1125 | 10 人生里不可能没有遗憾，只能尽量减少遗憾
世上没有没有后悔药，做之前想想这五条，以及更多条
决定去做了就别后悔，有失必也有得，没有十全十美的
活在今天，能被掌握的只有明天，未来
活在人生的最后一秒，别想那么多了，安详地上路吧^_^ | c********e
发帖数: 6158 | 11 role model!!!
【在 I*D 的大作中提到】
: 靠， 我竟然做的全是不后悔的。太神奇了，我可以毫无遗憾的死去了
| L******k
发帖数: 33825 | 12 恩啊 现在不怎么咳嗽了！！
谢谢关心啊~~
吃了药 还不错的！
【在 l*****z 的大作中提到】
: 和尚你咳嗽好些了吗？
| e*********n
发帖数: 4599 | 13 哈哈，把我的埋没的签名拿出来秀一下
【在 M****S 的大作中提到】
: 人生里不可能没有遗憾，只能尽量减少遗憾
: 世上没有没有后悔药，做之前想想这五条，以及更多条
: 决定去做了就别后悔，有失必也有得，没有十全十美的
: 活在今天，能被掌握的只有明天，未来
: 活在人生的最后一秒，别想那么多了，安详地上路吧^_^
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