m******y
发帖数: 11 | 1 这篇竟然是华尔街日报登的，看来美国跟中国居然是一样的。
http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB1000142405270230349680457
又是一年情人节。又一个晚上要在一边叫外卖寿司、一边观看《唐顿庄园》(Downton
Abbey)的重播中度过。女士们，聪明点吧。
尽管女性在职场上取得的进步深受关注，但对于大多数女性而言，未来幸福的基石仍然
是你与之结合的那个人。但很大的可能性是，你为谋求个人幸福投入的精力远远不及你
为自己下一次升职所投入的精力。你还在等什么？须知你已青春不再，然而对于你为之
倾心、有意委身的男子，你肯定要面对越来越年轻的竞争对手。
想想看：如果你大学毕业后头10年只关心事业，当你终于开始考虑寻觅良人时，已经30
岁出头了，却要与20多岁的女孩子们竞争。在这场竞赛中，你可能没那么好的运气。如
果你想要孩子，你的年龄劣势会更加明显，足以吓退任何可能的追求者。别让事情落到
那个地步。
你在规划另一半上面所花费的时间应当远远超过事业----而且你应当比你所认为的更快
开始这样做。如果你是那种拥有十分出色的学历、有志在事业上大展身手的女性，就更
应如此。
杰出的教育是你能给自己的最好礼物。但如果你是有这个福气的年轻女性，要找到与你
具备同样的求知欲、同样成功潜力的终生伴侣，这是个艰难的任务。与你一样受过良好
教育的男性有兴趣的通常是更年轻、没那么大志向的女子。
你能不能嫁给一个在学识或事业上不如自己的男人？当然可以。但跟一个与你或你的朋
友格格不入的人在一起，也可能令人失望。一旦你们的话题转向谷克多(Jean Cocteau)
或易卜生(Henrik Ibsen)，贝叶挂毯(Bayeux Tapestry)或乔姆斯基(Noam Chomsky)，
他呆滞的表情不会让你觉得赏心悦目。要是你开始赚得比他多呢？算了吧。极少有男人
能忍受他们所谓的“吃软饭”。
那么，聪明的女孩应该怎么做呢？早早开始寻觅，不要浪费时间与不适合你的男人约会
：坏小子、疯子和已婚男人。
大学是寻觅另一半的最佳地点。这里多的兴趣相投、年龄相当的单身男士，而且与你已
经有诸多相同之处。以后你就再也不可能有这么多的出色男士可供选择了。
一旦发现好男人，要慢慢来。一夜情是男人无法抵御的诱惑，但明智之举是不要轻易发
生关系。如果你在没有获得对方承诺的时候就与之亲热，就没有什么促使他承担责任了
。过去的老话现在依然正确：有免费牛奶的话，男人就不会买奶牛了。
大学毕业后还有机会遇到才华横溢、值得托付终生的男人吗？有，但为数不多。一旦离
开校园、进入现实世界，你会震惊地发现，男人有多么愚钝。在工作中肯定也会碰上合
适的人，但与同事相恋有害无益。
或许你在25岁之前还没准备好要进入婚姻殿堂（也可能已经做好准备），但要与你在大
学时遇到的男生们保持联系，尤其是特别聪明的那些。他们本身可能会有很好的发展，
而且毕业后他们只会越来越有吸引力。
并非所有女性都想结婚或当妈妈，但如果你想，你必须开始听从自己的直觉，不要迷信
多年来误导了众多年轻女性的女权主义口号。受过教育、志向远大的女性想要为人妻、
为人母没有任何问题。别相信别人说这些传统角色是倒退的说辞；这些角色是极其自然
的，甚至是极为美妙的。而如果你没能在大学时找到命中注定的另一半，也不用担心--
--还有研究生院呢。
Susan Patton: A Little Valentine's Day Straight Talk
Young women in college need to smarten up and start husband-hunting.
By
Susan Patton
Feb. 13, 2014 6:14 p.m. ET
Another Valentine's Day. Another night spent ordering in sushi for one and
mooning over "Downton Abbey" reruns. Smarten up, ladies.
Despite all of the focus on professional advancement, for most of you the
cornerstone of your future happiness will be the man you marry. But chances
are that you haven't been investing nearly as much energy in planning for
your personal happiness as you are planning for your next promotion at work.
What are you waiting for? You're not getting any younger, but the
competition for the men you'd be interested in marrying most definitely is.
Think about it: If you spend the first 10 years out of college focused
entirely on building your career, when you finally get around to looking for
a husband you'll be in your 30s, competing with women in their 20s. That's
not a competition in which you're likely to fare well. If you want to have
children, your biological clock will be ticking loud enough to ward off any
potential suitors. Don't let it get to that point.
You should be spending far more time planning for your husband than for your
career—and you should start doing so much sooner than you think. This is
especially the case if you are a woman with exceptionally good academic
credentials, aiming for corporate stardom.
An extraordinary education is the greatest gift you can give yourself. But
if you are a young woman who has had that blessing, the task of finding a
life partner who shares your intellectual curiosity and potential for
success is difficult. Those men who are as well-educated as you are often
interested in younger, less challenging women.
Could you marry a man who isn't your intellectual or professional equal?
Sure. But the likelihood is that it will be frustrating to be with someone
who just can't keep up with you or your friends. When the conversation turns
to Jean Cocteau or Henrik Ibsen, the Bayeux Tapestry or Noam Chomsky, you
won't find that glazed look that comes over his face at all appealing. And
if you start to earn more than he does? Forget about it. Very few men have
egos that can endure what they will see as a form of emasculation.
So what's a smart girl to do? Start looking early and stop wasting time
dating men who aren't good for you: bad boys, crazy guys and married men.
College is the best place to look for your mate. It is an environment
teeming with like-minded, age-appropriate single men with whom you already
share many things. You will never again have this concentration of
exceptional men to choose from.
When you find a good man, take it slow. Casual sex is irresistible to men,
but the smart move is not to give it away. If you offer intimacy without
commitment, the incentive to commit is eliminated. The grandmotherly message
of yesterday is still true today: Men won't buy the cow if the milk is free.
Can you meet brilliant, marriageable men after college? Yes, but just not
that many of them. Once you're living off campus and in the real world, you'
ll be stunned by how smart the men are not. You'll no doubt meet some
eligible guys in your workplace, but it's hazardous to get romantically
involved with co-workers.
You may not be ready for marriage in your early 20s (or maybe you are), but
keep in touch with the men that you meet in college, especially the super
smart ones. They'll probably do very well for themselves, and their
desirability will only increase after graduation.
Not all women want marriage or motherhood, but if you do, you have to start
listening to your gut and avoid falling for the P.C. feminist line that has
misled so many young women for years. There is nothing incongruous about
educated, ambitious women wanting to be wives and mothers. Don't let anyone
tell you that these traditional roles are retrograde; they are perfectly
natural and even wonderful. And if you fail to identify "the one" while you'
re in college, don't worry—there's always graduate school.
Ms. Patton is the author of "Marry Smart: Advice for Finding 'The One,' "
out in March from Gallery Books. |
Y*****2
发帖数: 38613 | 2 this author can't possiblity post something like this on wsj...
not a smart move at all
women who reads wsj diligiently are not looking for marrying an ordinary guy |
w**1
发帖数: 1014 | 3 This woman said the same thing last year, sounds like a one trick pony. Oh,
and she was divorced. |
n*******s
发帖数: 17267 | 4 Is divorce a bad thing?
Oh,
【在 w**1 的大作中提到】
: This woman said the same thing last year, sounds like a one trick pony. Oh,
: and she was divorced.
|
w**1
发帖数: 1014 | 5 By itself, no. But if the divorcee is the author of ‘Marry Smart’, it
makes you wonder.
【在 n*******s 的大作中提到】
: Is divorce a bad thing?
:
: Oh,
|
n*******s
发帖数: 17267 | 6 Women all want to marry smart, stay away from those who want to use and
exploit you.
【在 w**1 的大作中提到】
: By itself, no. But if the divorcee is the author of ‘Marry Smart’, it
: makes you wonder.
|
d*****o
发帖数: 2868 | 7 俺今天中午的时候也看到这篇文章了，貌似这个作者还就这个话题写了本书，3月份的
时候出版。作为男生，看了这篇文章以后特高兴，:). basically, 条件优秀的男生随
着年龄增长，他在征友方面的选择面就越来越大，而女生则是相反。
而楼上对作者因为是离婚而一篇关于marry smart的文章而产生质疑的，我觉得大可不
必。好的学生不代表是好的老师，好的球员不代表是好的教练。就连那个什么men are
from mars, women are from venus?的作者好像都是2婚，so what. 只要作者发表的观
点有道理，who gives crap about their marriage status. |
d*****o
发帖数: 2868 | 8 而且现在回想起来，上大学的时候还是比较容易认识背景相同的人的。发篇俺以前写的
帖子吧 |
P******d
发帖数: 4272 | 9 前提是你够优秀
真正优秀的男人一般30岁前就被女人疯抢了。没结婚的也不会沦落到鹊桥。
Sorry to break the news to you
★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 8.1
【在 d*****o 的大作中提到】
: 俺今天中午的时候也看到这篇文章了，貌似这个作者还就这个话题写了本书，3月份的
: 时候出版。作为男生，看了这篇文章以后特高兴，:). basically, 条件优秀的男生随
: 着年龄增长，他在征友方面的选择面就越来越大，而女生则是相反。
: 而楼上对作者因为是离婚而一篇关于marry smart的文章而产生质疑的，我觉得大可不
: 必。好的学生不代表是好的老师，好的球员不代表是好的教练。就连那个什么men are
: from mars, women are from venus?的作者好像都是2婚，so what. 只要作者发表的观
: 点有道理，who gives crap about their marriage status.
|
r******t
发帖数: 8967 | 10 优秀是相对的
【在 P******d 的大作中提到】
: 前提是你够优秀
: 真正优秀的男人一般30岁前就被女人疯抢了。没结婚的也不会沦落到鹊桥。
: Sorry to break the news to you
:
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 8.1
|
|
|
P*******a
发帖数: 982 | 11 一旦你们的话题转向谷克多(Jean Cocteau)
或易卜生(Henrik Ibsen)，贝叶挂毯(Bayeux Tapestry)或乔姆斯基(Noam Chomsky)，
他呆滞的表情不会让你觉得赏心悦目。
LOL 大家也都一起呆滞了吧？ |
g******n
发帖数: 53185 | 12 世界是发展的人会进步的，不少男人大器晚成。过早结婚的男人注定没什么大出息
【在 P******d 的大作中提到】
: 前提是你够优秀
: 真正优秀的男人一般30岁前就被女人疯抢了。没结婚的也不会沦落到鹊桥。
: Sorry to break the news to you
:
: ★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 8.1
|
c******n
发帖数: 5697 | 13 ok you beat me
i only read Henrik Ibsen and Noam Chomsky
【在 P*******a 的大作中提到】
: 一旦你们的话题转向谷克多(Jean Cocteau)
: 或易卜生(Henrik Ibsen)，贝叶挂毯(Bayeux Tapestry)或乔姆斯基(Noam Chomsky)，
: 他呆滞的表情不会让你觉得赏心悦目。
: LOL 大家也都一起呆滞了吧？
|
k*b
发帖数: 378 | 14 优秀定义也是不一样的。
被疯抢的多半外形出众，这不一定就是最适合婚姻生活的那个。婚姻爱情都太复杂，解
释不清。
【在 r******t 的大作中提到】
: 优秀是相对的
|
P******d
发帖数: 4272 | 15 疯抢不代表早在结婚大爷。
反正是不会和他一样30多岁连个女朋友都找不到。
大器晚成my ass都是普通人，要认清现实好吧，大器晚成的不会来鹊桥。
★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 8.1
★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 8.1
【在 g******n 的大作中提到】
: 世界是发展的人会进步的，不少男人大器晚成。过早结婚的男人注定没什么大出息
|
P******d
发帖数: 4272 | 16 你以为婚姻是合适的人过？
告诉你婚姻都是错的，成功的婚姻就是和将错就错。
★ 发自iPhone App: ChineseWeb 8.1
【在 k*b 的大作中提到】
: 优秀定义也是不一样的。
: 被疯抢的多半外形出众，这不一定就是最适合婚姻生活的那个。婚姻爱情都太复杂，解
: 释不清。
|
B*******n
发帖数: 20645 | 17 一帮忽悠大众的鸟人，本大湿不认识他们。
【在 P*******a 的大作中提到】
: 一旦你们的话题转向谷克多(Jean Cocteau)
: 或易卜生(Henrik Ibsen)，贝叶挂毯(Bayeux Tapestry)或乔姆斯基(Noam Chomsky)，
: 他呆滞的表情不会让你觉得赏心悦目。
: LOL 大家也都一起呆滞了吧？
|
P*******a
发帖数: 982 | 18 哈哈那你已经是呆滞中比较活泼的那个了!
【在 c******n 的大作中提到】
: ok you beat me
: i only read Henrik Ibsen and Noam Chomsky
|
