s**t
发帖数: 17016 | 1 snow melting and white isles
left on the lawn.
these interconnected isles are clouds
floating in the green sky.
it's a quiet and bright afternoon.
I am conceiving a poem,
leaf-shadows dancing on the remnant snow
as butterflies over clouds.
two hours later, I stop thinking
and look outside:
those clouds still there
not drift away. | s**t
发帖数: 17016 | 2 忍不住又写了一个
【在 s**t 的大作中提到】
: snow melting and white isles
: left on the lawn.
: these interconnected isles are clouds
: floating in the green sky.
: it's a quiet and bright afternoon.
: I am conceiving a poem,
: leaf-shadows dancing on the remnant snow
: as butterflies over clouds.
: two hours later, I stop thinking
: and look outside:
| S*******t
发帖数: 3956 | | L****o
发帖数: 1642 | 4 前面很好，有奇妙的想象，最后一段弱了些，可以考虑怎么深入推进。
【在 s**t 的大作中提到】
: snow melting and white isles
: left on the lawn.
: these interconnected isles are clouds
: floating in the green sky.
: it's a quiet and bright afternoon.
: I am conceiving a poem,
: leaf-shadows dancing on the remnant snow
: as butterflies over clouds.
: two hours later, I stop thinking
: and look outside:
| n*****r
发帖数: 2125 | |
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