j**********9 发帖数: 88 | 1 我的心理医生很好,很有同情心,很nice, 和他聊天就像朋友一样。但是我发现他在我
们谈话的时候哭了。我想问一下大家的心理医生在session中都会哭吗?还想请教学临
床心理学的版上专家,这是治疗的需要?还是我碰到的医生感情丰富? | c**r 发帖数: 10001 | 2 不同性格,不同理论体系的心理医生,对这个问题都会有自己不同的回答的. 如果是
因为他自己的事情哭,那么赶紧踢掉换人,如果是因为你讲的事情哭,那么重要的是
你是否对他哭这件事感到comfortable,如果感觉不太好,或者有点迷惑,那么可以把
这件事拿出来跟他聊聊.
【在 j**********9 的大作中提到】![](/moin_static193/solenoid/img/up.png) : 我的心理医生很好,很有同情心,很nice, 和他聊天就像朋友一样。但是我发现他在我 : 们谈话的时候哭了。我想问一下大家的心理医生在session中都会哭吗?还想请教学临 : 床心理学的版上专家,这是治疗的需要?还是我碰到的医生感情丰富?
| j**********9 发帖数: 88 | 3 他说he is a little bit traumatized by what I told him about China recently.
He said it's just a little bit, I don't need to worry about it.然后就哭了。
我在想是不是文化差异,他们受不了中国的现实?
【在 c**r 的大作中提到】![](/moin_static193/solenoid/img/up.png) : 不同性格,不同理论体系的心理医生,对这个问题都会有自己不同的回答的. 如果是 : 因为他自己的事情哭,那么赶紧踢掉换人,如果是因为你讲的事情哭,那么重要的是 : 你是否对他哭这件事感到comfortable,如果感觉不太好,或者有点迷惑,那么可以把 : 这件事拿出来跟他聊聊.
| c**r 发帖数: 10001 | 4 上次忘了说了,大多数心理医生在绝大多数的session里是不会哭的,这个不是个很普
遍的现象.
具体到你们的session,这个session是"你"的,你不需要去操心他会有什么样的心情,
那是他该去他自己的心理医生那里解决的问题. 我个人觉得跟client说i am a little
bit traumatized这种话不很professional,不过这个也不是绝对的,也可能他感觉到
自己受到比较大的冲击,暂时无法控制好情绪,因此先让你有所准备,以免他的失控
本身给你造成伤害. 缺乏context,外人也很难判断当时究竟是怎么回事. 不过如果你
当时讲的话题,是跟你去找心理医生的主要目的很相关的,我个人觉得你可以考虑换
下医生比较好,因为很可能这个话题属于他的敏感button,因此超出了他能有效帮助
client的范围了.
不管怎么样,心理治疗里我觉得记住有一点也许会有帮助,这是"你"的session,不用
像平时一样去小心在意自己的举动话语是否会对别人造成什么什么的影响,有任何让
你不舒服的地方,比如"我有点疑惑,心理医生哭是很常见的事吗", "你哭让我觉得有
点uncomfortable", "我们之间是不是有些文化差异,你受不了中国的现实"这些话题,
都是可以拿出来跟他讨论的,如果因为某些原因他无法继续这些讨论,那么他应该告
诉你,并且最好能refer其他更合适的医生给你,如果他抵制这些讨论或者在讨论中
比较aggressive,那么是他失职了,你赶紧换医生是最好的.
【在 j**********9 的大作中提到】![](/moin_static193/solenoid/img/up.png) : 他说he is a little bit traumatized by what I told him about China recently. : He said it's just a little bit, I don't need to worry about it.然后就哭了。 : 我在想是不是文化差异,他们受不了中国的现实?
| j**********9 发帖数: 88 | 5 非常感谢你回复的这么详细。我只是告诉他镇坪的强制堕胎的新闻。关于文化差异我们
以前也讨论过,他说只是一个drawback。他有二十多年的专业经验,所以看到他哭了,
我还是很惊讶的。
little
【在 c**r 的大作中提到】![](/moin_static193/solenoid/img/up.png) : 上次忘了说了,大多数心理医生在绝大多数的session里是不会哭的,这个不是个很普 : 遍的现象. : 具体到你们的session,这个session是"你"的,你不需要去操心他会有什么样的心情, : 那是他该去他自己的心理医生那里解决的问题. 我个人觉得跟client说i am a little : bit traumatized这种话不很professional,不过这个也不是绝对的,也可能他感觉到 : 自己受到比较大的冲击,暂时无法控制好情绪,因此先让你有所准备,以免他的失控 : 本身给你造成伤害. 缺乏context,外人也很难判断当时究竟是怎么回事. 不过如果你 : 当时讲的话题,是跟你去找心理医生的主要目的很相关的,我个人觉得你可以考虑换 : 下医生比较好,因为很可能这个话题属于他的敏感button,因此超出了他能有效帮助 : client的范围了.
| j**********9 发帖数: 88 | 6 关于这个问题,我找到一个很好的帖子 :)。和你讲的是一样的。http://www.theseparateroom.com/crying-therapist/
Does your therapist cry?
When my cousin first told me that her psychotherapist cried in the sessions
I was shocked.
My cousin felt like she had to take charge of the therapist’s uncontained
feelings and as a result she left therapy.
At the time I thought it was very unprofessional of her therapist to be
overwhelmed to the point of losing composure in front of a patient: in my
mind therapists were supposed to be comfortable around strong emotions. When
feelings run high they should hold it together and keep their own issues at
bay.
I have since been in therapy myself with a “crier” (see below for more
details), and I also learnt that therapists crying in front of patients is
actually quite a common occurrence.
I am still not convinced if it’s good for therapy though.
So I asked myself:
Is it considered ok for a therapist to cry?
I read up on the subject and here is what I found.
According to traditional theory the therapist should be empathic but neutral
, and as a general rule she should not disclose her feelings.
Neutrality serves the purpose of establishing the patient’s independence
and self-determination, a boundary that underscores the separateness, so in
this sense it is therapeutic.
From this stance crying is not ok, being both a breach of neutrality and an
act of self-disclosure.
For the more recents schools of relational psychoanalytic theory, which
value empathy and connection above all and allow self-disclosure to a
certain degree, crying is considered ok as long as it favours attachment and
communicates the therapist’s attunement (as opposed to her neediness or
lack of control).
While researching the crying matter, I have noticed that there are many
forums where patients share their stories of crying therapists but –
judging from the paucity of literature – therapists themselves are
reluctant to tackle the subject of their own tears. I wonder what that means.
As I said I have myself been in therapy with someone who was often moved to
tears during the sessions, and my own experience as a patient is ambivalent.
On the one hand my therapist’s tears felt like a special sign of connection
. Like Bethany so aptly describes my therapist’s tears “would give me
double mega bonus points, make me untouchable, invincible for at least the
rest of that level, surrounded by a glowing, protective aura. Each therapist
tear = a shiny gold coin in your pocket, ching ching ching“.
But after a few episodes the crying started feeling like the symptom of an
excessively intense connection on the therapist’s part, mirrored by my own
intense feelings – and totally unhelpful to therapy.
The tears ended up loosing my therapist just as many bonus points I had
earned.
My own conclusion is that a therapist’s tears are ok if:
- crying is not used as an ordinary method of communication, but only under
totally exceptional circumstances
- the therapist is in control of his tears, and actively allows himself to
cry for the sole benefit of therapy
- tears come out of pure attunement and empathy, having as little as
humanely possible to do with the therapist’s own pain, experiences and
issues
little
【在 c**r 的大作中提到】![](/moin_static193/solenoid/img/up.png) : 上次忘了说了,大多数心理医生在绝大多数的session里是不会哭的,这个不是个很普 : 遍的现象. : 具体到你们的session,这个session是"你"的,你不需要去操心他会有什么样的心情, : 那是他该去他自己的心理医生那里解决的问题. 我个人觉得跟client说i am a little : bit traumatized这种话不很professional,不过这个也不是绝对的,也可能他感觉到 : 自己受到比较大的冲击,暂时无法控制好情绪,因此先让你有所准备,以免他的失控 : 本身给你造成伤害. 缺乏context,外人也很难判断当时究竟是怎么回事. 不过如果你 : 当时讲的话题,是跟你去找心理医生的主要目的很相关的,我个人觉得你可以考虑换 : 下医生比较好,因为很可能这个话题属于他的敏感button,因此超出了他能有效帮助 : client的范围了.
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