USANews版 - 笑死了，John Mulaney小时候被误为是亚裔美国女人 |
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x*********n
发帖数: 1 | 1 Asian American Woman- John Mulaney
John Mulaney 虽然长的有点像但并不是亚裔。在这个视频中他讲述小时候被认为是亚
裔并受到虐待的经历。
https://youtu.be/KX-IvSvb3R0
"I think the bullying the young people have to go through now in schools is
pretty ruff, I really sympathize because I was bullied when I was a kid uh
when I was in grade school I was bullied uh for being Asian American aaaaand
the biggest problem with that is that I am not Asian American, But when I
was younger and this is absolutely true people thought that I might be Asian
American I had very thin eyes when I was a little kid and I had straight
black hair that I wore in a bowl cut, and from the ages 3 - 8 people thought
I was a Chinese person and on the first day that he met me the person that
is now my best friend and on the first day of kindergarten he went home that
night and said “Papa, today I met a boy with no eyes!” and that was me.
Kids would make fun of me in middle school and they would call me “China
man” and of the racial slurs has got to be the laziest that’s just pushing
two words together, no work was done there. It was very confusing to me
because I was not Chinese none of my family is remotely Asian I mean we take
are shoes of by the door but that’s more of a carpeting thing than
anything else. Here's how bad I got though I remember when I was in jr high
we had this music appreciation class that we never appreciated and they took
us to see a classical music performance once at a symphony orchestra so we
go to the symphony orchestra and in one of the classical pieces there's a
moment where they bang a gong and every time they banged the gong all the
kids in front of of me would stand up turn to me and bow like that witch is
some racist bull crap but also incredibly well coordinated for a group of 13
year olds, 13 year olds are the meanest people in the world they terrify me
to this day, and when I’m on a street on a Friday at like 3 pm and I see a
group of 8th graders on the other side of the street I will cross to the
other side of the street because 8th graders will make fun of you but in a
accurate way they will get to the thing that you don't like about you they
don't even need to look at you for long and they'll just be like “HA HA HA
HA HA look at the high waisted man he got feminine hips” and I’ll be like
“nooo that's the thing i’m sensitive about!”. When I was a boy I was also
confused with a woman sometimes over the phone because before I went
through puberty I had a voice like a little flute. Once on the phone with
blockbuster video which is a very old fashioned centace and it is I was on
the telephone with blockbuster video that’s like when you grandma be like
“we all gun go play jacks out by the soda fountain” and you like “no one
knows what your talking about you idiot” you know how you talk to you
grandma and I was on the phone with blockbuster and I called them 3 times in
one day to ask about a movie and I called a third time and I said “hey ya
I i was just callin’ about to see if you had Addams Family Values yet.”
and the guy at blockbuster went “hey lady i’ll tell you when we get addams
family values” but I wasn't offended as a boy be confused with a lady I
was offended as a lady being pushed around by this butthole that works at
blockbuster video talking to me like I’m a dimwit I am a proud asian
american women, and you will treat me with respect I am a tiger mom" | x**********9
发帖数: 1 | 2 这视频没有中文翻译，版上那几个疮粉又听不懂。他们只会说是民主党才会bully | x*********n
发帖数: 1 | 3 谷歌翻译的凑合着看吧。
我认为欺负年轻人现在在学校中是相当大的事，我真的很同情，因为当我还是个孩子的
时候，我就被欺负了……当我读小学时，我被欺负了，他们以为我是亚裔美国人，而最
大的问题是那是因为我不是亚裔美国人，但是当我年轻的时候，这是绝对正确的。人们
以为我可能是亚裔美国人。我小的时候眼睛很细，我戴着黑色的直发。从3到8岁，人们
以为我是中国人，在他认识我的第一天，这个人现在是我最好的朋友，在幼儿园的第一
天，他晚上回家说：“爸爸，今天我遇到了一个没有眼睛的男孩！”那就是我。孩子们
在中学时会取笑我，他们会称我为“中国男人”，种族骂必须是最懒惰的，只推两个字
在一起，那里没有工作完成，这让我感到困惑，因为我没有中国人我的家人都不是亚洲
人。我的意思是，我们穿的是家门口的鞋子，但这比地毯上的东西更重要。这让我感到
非常糟糕，尽管我记得我高三的时候就参加了一次我们从未欣赏过的音乐欣赏班，他们
带我们去交响乐团看了一次古典音乐表演，所以我们去了交响乐团，在其中一个在经典
作品中，有一瞬间他们会敲锣，每次敲锣时，我前面的所有孩子都会站起来向我鞠躬，
就像女巫是种族主义者的牛头蛇一样，但对于一个团队来说，协调性非常好在13岁的人
群中，13岁的人群是当今世界上最卑鄙的人，当我星期五在下午3点的时候在街上时，
我看到一群8年级的学生在对面我会穿过这条街的另一边，因为八年级的学生会取笑你
，但是以一种准确的方式，他们会得到你不喜欢的东西，他们甚至不需要看你很长，他
们会像“哈哈哈哈哈看看高腰马他的臀部很女性”，我会觉得“这不是我最敏感的事情
！”。当我还是个男孩的时候，有时我也会和一个女人混为一谈，因为在我进入青春期
之前，我的嗓子像个长笛。曾经在电话里放着非常流行的视频，这是一个非常老式的世
纪，而我在电话里放着非常流行的视频，就像当你祖母像“我们都用枪打苏打喷泉一样
”而你喜欢“不一个人知道你在说什么你白痴”，“你知道你如何跟你的祖母说话，我
当时正在和大片通电话，我一天打电话给他们三遍，问一部电影，然后我第三次打电话
给我，我说：“嘿是的，我只是打电话来看看您是否拥有亚当斯家族价值观。”一鸣惊
人的家伙说：“嘿，我告诉你我们何时会获得亚当斯家族价值观”，但是我并没有因为
小男孩而得罪与一位女士相混淆，我很生气，因为一位女士在这个卖座大片中被这个屁
眼推着，在视频中像我是个昏昏欲睡的人说话，我是一个骄傲的亚裔美国女性，你会尊
重我，我是一个老虎妈妈
【在 x**********9 的大作中提到】
: 这视频没有中文翻译，版上那几个疮粉又听不懂。他们只会说是民主党才会bully
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