_K12版 - Bully连续剧:“那个写信的ID”的肺腑之言 (转载) |
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m****y
发帖数: 3437 | 1 If comment, please go to PA. Thanks
【 以下文字转载自 Parenting 讨论区 】
发信人: mooody (mooody), 信区: Parenting
标 题: Bully连续剧:“那个写信的ID”的肺腑之言
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Oct 7 08:39:06 2010, 美东)
还没爬完pipiniang的楼，心里就瓦凉瓦凉的。pipiniang是想说：发言不要“咄咄
逼人”对吧?我也是新ID，同感。“be disagree without being disagreeable"是
我们的自律和希望。大家的回贴建议我们穿上马甲，放下礼教，我们很遗憾的说，
受教了。pipiniang换位思考惹来一身腥。我也太热情过分，自寻烦恼。
那封信写的如何，我不关心。所以一直没再发言，今天一起说说，希望给你们兼听
则明的机会。采纳于否，是你和你的孩子承担结果，我都尊重。
1。给学校(校长老师一样)写信，请务必NICE。几百号学生的小学，每天多少磕磕碰
碰?有多少能上达天听，有多少校长会亲自处理?公事公办，校长可以forward给老师，
老师可以敷衍了事。你低姿态的恳求他帮助和高姿态的指示他过问，哪一个能得到
解决?我是妈妈，我的腰可以为我孩子弯。lotus200430的儿子，得到了校长亲自请
对方出教室，又亲自去车上认人的待遇。这么高规格的撑腰还不够?在小孩眼里，这
是赤裸裸的保护的意思了。
2。写信陈述事情，务必心平气和。你激愤之情跃然纸上，会给学校造成你是在护犊
子的错觉。降低你的可信度。aggressive的大人和aggressive的孩子一样不讨人喜
欢。参照Haward Dean竞选滑铁庐时过度激愤的教训。
3。控诉别人要有证据，he says she says的case，像lotus家这个，你不会真以为
学校会因为你强硬的一面之词就选边站吧?学校如果真糊涂到给对方重大惩处，对方
的家长抓狂了，你有足够的证据帮学校和自己打官司吗?对方说ACCIDENT，学校凭什
么不接受?何况这并不妨碍学校教育他啊。
4。我也恨bully。但是我们可不可以给”七岁八岁狗都嫌“的男孩子一点点宽容呢
?能不能给对方 benefit of the doubt 呢。我们谈之色变，于是草木皆兵，错杀的
一千里，会不会有五百个因为”委屈，愤怒，怨恨“而成长起来的真bully呢?最后
还是害我们自己的孩子。
最后我引用政治评论人Mark Plotkin 的话:“Good reasons for rubbish is still
rubbish”. | E*********e
发帖数: 10297 | 2 发信人: leawolf (无事忙之中小管家), 信区: K12
标 题: Re: 关于bully
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Wed Oct 6 20:12:31 2010, 美东)
这个建议好象不错
We have taught our son who is 5 to do several things if someone is
hitting/
pushing/bullying him. The 1st is to tell them firmly not to hit him. The
2nd
is to walk away. 3rd is to tell the adult present what happened. The 4th
is
only if all of the above haven't worked or if the child follows him when
he
walks away and that is to hit and hit hard. We have taught him how to
correctly throw a punch without hurting himself and how to block one as
well
. We practice this at home and tell him when it is OK to do this. He has
always been one of the tallest kids for his age and therefore one of the
strongest usually as well. He understands that he has to use
apppropriate
tactics for the situation. He is a peer in a special education class
room
and one time a classmate was picking on one of his "special" friends and
after telling the classmate repeatedly not to pick on his friend he just
picked up a handful of mulch and threw it on the classmate and it
stopped
the classmate from picking on his friend. Another time at the pool a boy
kept splashing his friend while she was in her floaty and he wouldn't
stop
though the other parent was 2 feet away and watching it and not stopping
though the girl was telling the boy to stop. My son stepped in and
flipped
the boy out of his floaty tube (it was only a wading pool). The boy
stopped
splashing her once he realized that someone would stand up to him and
not
tolerate it and that he wasn't almighty. The point is that we have told
him
to use just the right amount of pressure. We don't condone fighting and
he
is not to start a fight but he should have the skills to finish one if
need
be. I am also proud of him for sticking up for someone who is getting
picked
on. No one should ever have to be bullied.
posted 06/19/2007 by Shaun1021
学校老师显然不赞成fight back
As an Elementary School Principal and parent, there are several steps
paretns can take to remedy a bulling situation. First, be sure to have
all
of your facts correct. Your child's perception of an incident may be
different from what has actually occured. Second, once you have indeed
found
that there is a bully problem, set up a conference to chat with your
child'
s teacher to enllist their help. While it is true that teachers can't
see it
all, they see and hear much more than you might think and should have
remedys that will work for the particular age level you are dealing
with.
Finally, you can set up an appointment to meat with an administrator. I
would advise the parent to invite the teacher or at least tell the
teacher
that the next step would be up the chain of command. DO NOT teach your
child
to hit back, as this will undoubtly result in disciplinary matters for
your
child and is just poor parenting. The above steps should remedy the
situation.
posted 01/22/2010 by a BabyCenter Member
【在 m****y 的大作中提到】
: If comment, please go to PA. Thanks
: 【 以下文字转载自 Parenting 讨论区 】
: 发信人: mooody (mooody), 信区: Parenting
: 标 题: Bully连续剧:“那个写信的ID”的肺腑之言
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Oct 7 08:39:06 2010, 美东)
: 还没爬完pipiniang的楼，心里就瓦凉瓦凉的。pipiniang是想说：发言不要“咄咄
: 逼人”对吧?我也是新ID，同感。“be disagree without being disagreeable"是
: 我们的自律和希望。大家的回贴建议我们穿上马甲，放下礼教，我们很遗憾的说，
: 受教了。pipiniang换位思考惹来一身腥。我也太热情过分，自寻烦恼。
: 那封信写的如何，我不关心。所以一直没再发言，今天一起说说，希望给你们兼听
| B**********y
发帖数: 3855 | 3 我看到那个用砖头砸同学的帖子就晕了~~~其他没有追踪下去。
不过，我觉得你写的挺好的。以恶报恶的做法，不敢认同。 | e*e
发帖数: 6808 | | K****y
发帖数: 2762 | 5 两天前在CNN上看到一个被Bully的小白,11岁,因为Fight Back,被学校Suspend 3天,那
个Bully的小孩被学校Suspend了一天.小白孩就自杀了.
【在 m****y 的大作中提到】
: If comment, please go to PA. Thanks
: 【 以下文字转载自 Parenting 讨论区 】
: 发信人: mooody (mooody), 信区: Parenting
: 标 题: Bully连续剧:“那个写信的ID”的肺腑之言
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Oct 7 08:39:06 2010, 美东)
: 还没爬完pipiniang的楼，心里就瓦凉瓦凉的。pipiniang是想说：发言不要“咄咄
: 逼人”对吧?我也是新ID，同感。“be disagree without being disagreeable"是
: 我们的自律和希望。大家的回贴建议我们穿上马甲，放下礼教，我们很遗憾的说，
: 受教了。pipiniang换位思考惹来一身腥。我也太热情过分，自寻烦恼。
: 那封信写的如何，我不关心。所以一直没再发言，今天一起说说，希望给你们兼听
| S**********s
发帖数: 2033 | 6 我就不去了。拍个马屁先，你的文笔咋这么好和思路咋这么清晰？好甚让人羡慕！
能不能知道当初你的父母怎么推你的然后你照搬推你自己的娃?
//其实很想听一句：自然成才。这样我就解放了...
【在 m****y 的大作中提到】
: If comment, please go to PA. Thanks
: 【 以下文字转载自 Parenting 讨论区 】
: 发信人: mooody (mooody), 信区: Parenting
: 标 题: Bully连续剧:“那个写信的ID”的肺腑之言
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Oct 7 08:39:06 2010, 美东)
: 还没爬完pipiniang的楼，心里就瓦凉瓦凉的。pipiniang是想说：发言不要“咄咄
: 逼人”对吧?我也是新ID，同感。“be disagree without being disagreeable"是
: 我们的自律和希望。大家的回贴建议我们穿上马甲，放下礼教，我们很遗憾的说，
: 受教了。pipiniang换位思考惹来一身腥。我也太热情过分，自寻烦恼。
: 那封信写的如何，我不关心。所以一直没再发言，今天一起说说，希望给你们兼听
| f**********g
发帖数: 4709 | 7 肯定的嘛
文采这个东西难道不是天生的？
后天培养也就加强点逻辑，结构，内容什么的，文笔是没戏的
【在 S**********s 的大作中提到】
: 我就不去了。拍个马屁先，你的文笔咋这么好和思路咋这么清晰？好甚让人羡慕！
: 能不能知道当初你的父母怎么推你的然后你照搬推你自己的娃?
: //其实很想听一句：自然成才。这样我就解放了...
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