10. Only thing you read: takeout menus
9. You've had a garage door installed in your bedroom
8. Got cable just for the Food Network
7. You skip your son's wedding because you don't want to miss Blimpie's
2-for-1 sale
6. Red Cross changed your blood type from "O" to "Pancake batter"
5. Scientists won a Nobel Prize for measuring your gravitational field
4. Blinking leaves you winded
3. You buy ham by the square foot
2. Southwest Airlines makes you purchase 3 tickets
1. You start every day with a n
