L****e 发帖数: 499 | 1 打算在我们的toastmaster meeting 上做joke master,自己从网上找的笑话瞎编了一
下安在自己头上,听众都是老外,教育水平有高有低,不过普遍好像不是非常高。请大
家看看好不好笑,如果有人能帮改一改,让听着更自然一点,感激不尽。
Good evening, Madam toastmaster, fellow toastmasters. My name is xxx, I am
a Chinese. today I am going to tell you some of my stories the first year
when I was in America.
A couple of years ago at the first time I came to America, I was
interviewed by a lady immigration officer at the custom. I was trying to ask
her something , but I was so nervous and I was just switching from Chinese
speaking model to English speaking model, my tongue was still stiff and
twist, instead of saying Excuse me, I said Kiss me. The lady officer was so
shocked, but she was such a nice lady, she did kissed me!!!! That was my
first day in America, I will never forget.
Then, at the first weekend I went to supermarket to do some shopping. At the
checkout, the cashier asked me: Do you need some cash back? cash back? umm
, I am pretty familiar with this word. I remember every time when I do
online shopping through some website such as Ebates I get cash back. So I
said: yes, please. The cashier asked: how much? I said: as much as possible,
who will have enough of money?
(谁会嫌钱多呢?上面的这个表达似乎不太能够体现出喜剧效果,不知有没有更好的表
达方式?)
After shopping I went to a McDonald to buy some lunch. I ordered a burger
and French fries, but I couldn't find ketchup and unfortunately I suddenly
forgot how to say ketchup in English, so I ask the waitress: "do you have
some tomato sauce?"
"I am sorry , what do you want?", "Tomato sauce"
Sorry, we don't have tomato sauce. I was surprise: how come you don't have
tomato sauce in McDonald? I thought that I may have to use other way to
express it, so that I said: For example, when you eat fries, u just eat it,
or you eat it with something else?
The waitress said: "ohh, typically we eat it by hand, but maybe you want to
eat it with chop stick, right? but I am sorry we don't have chop stick" and
she gave me a fork.Obviously this is not what I want. The desperate but
patient waitress showed me everything behind the encounter and finally I saw
ketchup. I was so happy and said: yes , yes, this is what I want. how to
say that in English? " "ketchup", yes, ketchup was exactly what I
want.
Since that day, I worked my butt off trying hard to catch up. | z***x 发帖数: 80 | 2 not bad keep going if you can. | p*****a 发帖数: 1152 | | w********6 发帖数: 12977 | 4 Not the kind of joke American will like.
The second joke reminds me of Pulp Fiction, the joke told by Mia Wallace:
Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato,
and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato
gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says,
Catch up | w********6 发帖数: 12977 | | d*****4 发帖数: 6237 | 6 She had me kiss her ass比较可信
【在 w********6 的大作中提到】 : 而且第一个笑话的可信度太低
| V********n 发帖数: 3061 | | g***e 发帖数: 577 | 8 With your accent, these jokes would make you look exactly like a stupid.
am
ask
Chinese
【在 L****e 的大作中提到】 : 打算在我们的toastmaster meeting 上做joke master,自己从网上找的笑话瞎编了一 : 下安在自己头上,听众都是老外,教育水平有高有低,不过普遍好像不是非常高。请大 : 家看看好不好笑,如果有人能帮改一改,让听着更自然一点,感激不尽。 : Good evening, Madam toastmaster, fellow toastmasters. My name is xxx, I am : a Chinese. today I am going to tell you some of my stories the first year : when I was in America. : A couple of years ago at the first time I came to America, I was : interviewed by a lady immigration officer at the custom. I was trying to ask : her something , but I was so nervous and I was just switching from Chinese : speaking model to English speaking model, my tongue was still stiff and
| m******l 发帖数: 2472 | 9 第一个好点,展示了美国人的nice. 后面两个,只能说明你英语差啊就是差。 | G******U 发帖数: 4211 | 10 Thank you Madam toastmaster,
Good evening fellow toastmasters! I am xxx, I am
a Chinese. Who isn't. Let me tell you a few stories when I first got here.
I was interviewed by a lady immigration officer when I entered this country
for the very first time. Needless to say, I was nervous. Switching from
Chinese
speaking mode to the English one was simply too hard to me. Instead of
saying Excuse me, I said Kiss me. Now it's her turn to be baffled! Anyhow,
she did kiss me! I will never forget my special treatment on my very first
day in America.
I learnt something new too when I went to the American supermarket for the
first time. It was the first weekend in the US. When checking out, the
cashier asked me: cash back? cash back! umm , I knew every word! So I
said: yes, please. The cashier asked: how much? I said: as much as possible.
After the not so embarrassing shopping I walked in a McDonald to have lunch.
I ordered a full meal with fries, but I couldn't figure out where ketchup
is. I ask the waitress: "do you have tomato sauce?"
You can imagine I gave the McDonald waitress some hard time too. She let me
see the back of the counter and then told me the correct name of “ketchup”.
Since that day, I have been trying to catch up. Still there
is a lot for me to learn. That's why I am here! Nevertheless I
miss the kiss from the female Custom and Border Patrol
officer. I had my chance. Thank you!
雷锋。大家板砖直接拍吧。
am
ask
Chinese
【在 L****e 的大作中提到】 : 打算在我们的toastmaster meeting 上做joke master,自己从网上找的笑话瞎编了一 : 下安在自己头上,听众都是老外,教育水平有高有低,不过普遍好像不是非常高。请大 : 家看看好不好笑,如果有人能帮改一改,让听着更自然一点,感激不尽。 : Good evening, Madam toastmaster, fellow toastmasters. My name is xxx, I am : a Chinese. today I am going to tell you some of my stories the first year : when I was in America. : A couple of years ago at the first time I came to America, I was : interviewed by a lady immigration officer at the custom. I was trying to ask : her something , but I was so nervous and I was just switching from Chinese : speaking model to English speaking model, my tongue was still stiff and
| | | G******U 发帖数: 4211 | 11 笑话不要编。还有什么能比生活更可笑的呐?
笑话或者生活也可能会很mean。比如说摔断腿。比如说,不说了。
我试着给你改了下,妄图往鸡汤的那个方向。
不过不讲也行。你这个是5-7分钟的内容。又太冗长,其实改不胜
改。 不要认为听众蠢。
am
ask
Chinese
【在 L****e 的大作中提到】 : 打算在我们的toastmaster meeting 上做joke master,自己从网上找的笑话瞎编了一 : 下安在自己头上,听众都是老外,教育水平有高有低,不过普遍好像不是非常高。请大 : 家看看好不好笑,如果有人能帮改一改,让听着更自然一点,感激不尽。 : Good evening, Madam toastmaster, fellow toastmasters. My name is xxx, I am : a Chinese. today I am going to tell you some of my stories the first year : when I was in America. : A couple of years ago at the first time I came to America, I was : interviewed by a lady immigration officer at the custom. I was trying to ask : her something , but I was so nervous and I was just switching from Chinese : speaking model to English speaking model, my tongue was still stiff and
| e**********3 发帖数: 161 | 12 笑点属于那种比较weird 的并且你最后的punchline 很弱。很可能最后是冷冷收场 并
且做humorist 这样太长 建议改改 你不一定要讲自己的故事在网上找一个讲也是可以
的 这个角色本来就比较挑战。没笑的话怕自尊会伤害到自己 但是有勇气接受挑战 可
嘉 | d******r 发帖数: 16947 | 13 笑话太长,笑点就不突出了。你还不如讲几个冷笑话
lol
am
ask
Chinese
【在 L****e 的大作中提到】 : 打算在我们的toastmaster meeting 上做joke master,自己从网上找的笑话瞎编了一 : 下安在自己头上,听众都是老外,教育水平有高有低,不过普遍好像不是非常高。请大 : 家看看好不好笑,如果有人能帮改一改,让听着更自然一点,感激不尽。 : Good evening, Madam toastmaster, fellow toastmasters. My name is xxx, I am : a Chinese. today I am going to tell you some of my stories the first year : when I was in America. : A couple of years ago at the first time I came to America, I was : interviewed by a lady immigration officer at the custom. I was trying to ask : her something , but I was so nervous and I was just switching from Chinese : speaking model to English speaking model, my tongue was still stiff and
| L****e 发帖数: 499 | 14 多谢各位的金玉良言,特别是GoodToCU ,您这英文水平比我高多了。 | s*******t 发帖数: 4035 | 15 这个就跟做presentation一样 案头工作要做好 自己要多练习 期望不要太高 如果第一
次搞的话 只要有几个人笑的话就很成功了 华人要多做做这方面的活动 支持一下 | G******U 发帖数: 4211 | 16 不谢。时态大都不对。版上藏龙卧虎。说我英文好的话,版上一多半的人都要
“笑得肚子疼”--张老三。
joke版以前流行过going down,又有“peng”,笑得肚子疼算第三名吧。
【在 L****e 的大作中提到】 : 多谢各位的金玉良言,特别是GoodToCU ,您这英文水平比我高多了。
| n**a 发帖数: 26 | 17 我说一个我当年去麦当劳的真实故事以给你作为素材,我对站柜台的黑女孩说,“can
I have No.5, big and nasty please?". 她当场笑翻,我过了好一会才明白过来。 |
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