N****f
发帖数: 25759 | 1 【 以下文字转载自 MiddleSchool 讨论区 】
发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: MiddleSchool
标 题: The Toddler Strikes Back
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Nov 11 02:57:57 2010, 美东)
Remember how my daughter got completely outsmarted by this
well educated and highly skilled intellectual when she tried to lie
about defacing a book? Well, tonight, she managed to extract a
bit of a sweet little revenge.
About two hours ago, I was putting her through her pre-bedtime
routine—you know, brushing teeth, washing face, etc.—when she
pointed at her little plastic bathtub lying inside the main tub and
declared: "I wanna take a bath."
An innocent enough request, one would say, except that with her,
a bath is never as simple a matter as it sounds like. Instead, it
usually involved a rubber ducky, two plastic bottles, several colorful
toy fish, an array of other waterproof toys, and at least 30-40 minutes
of quality playing time before she would consider the bath properly
completed. It was getting late, and I had important articles to read
on MITBBS. So I told her: "Let's do that tomorrow. It's too late and
too cold now."
Reluctantly, she let me run her through the process and tuck her in
bed. A couple of Dr. Seuss books and more than a hundred gentle
pats on the back later, she finally looked ready to dose off, and I
decided to take a shower and get comfy myself.
When I came back from the bathroom, I was surprised to see her
sitting in bed and checking me out with sleepy eyes.
"Daddy, what'ya doing?" she asked.
"Nothing," I said. "I was just taking a shower."
She put on the most complex expression I had ever seen on her little
face, looking partly puzzled, partly inquisitive, partly thoughtful, partly
amused—and maybe even a little sarcastic, I could swear.
"Is it too late and too cold?" she commented, oh-so innocently.
Ouch…checkmate—in the hands of a 2.5-year-old! :-) | N****f
发帖数: 25759 | 2 Just realized that I never did post the previous article on
this board, so here it goes:
发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: MiddleSchool
标 题: Learning to Lie
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Sun Oct 31 04:57:01 2010, 美东)
As they say, little kids learn something new every day. And today,
my daughter just managed to acquire a basic human skill that is
going to prove very useful in her future life: lying.
This afternoon, when she asked me to read to her, for the 34th or
37th or 43rd time, Dr. Seuss' classic "The Cat in the Hat," I
noticed some crayon marks on the title page. There was, of course,
no doubt in anybody's mind who the perpetrator was.
With an exaggerated expression of shock on my face, I "confronted"
her: "Uh-oh…did you do that?"
"No," came the answer quickly, effortlessly, and quite naturally,
instead of the silent admission of guilt that used to be a norm.
"Who did it, then?" I pressed on.
To my utter amusement, she responded with a nonchalant little
shrug, executed perfectly to say: "How the heck do I know? And
why are you asking me all these questions, anyway?"
I decided to try a different approach.
"Did you drawing these lines with your pencil"? I asked.
"No," again she answered quickly, "[with] my crayon."
Case closed. :-) | N****f
发帖数: 25759 | 3 Here are a couple more in this series:
发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: MiddleSchool
标 题: What on Earth Was She Thinking?
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Mon Oct 25 04:44:57 2010, 美东)
Earlier this evening, my little daughter was waking up from a little
nap, and I was surfing around aimlessly when I came upon this post
via the MITBBS homepage:
http://www.mitbbs.com/article_t/PhotoGear/32463639.html
Just to help her come around and get ready for dinner, I showed
her this picture:
"Wassat?" I asked her.
"An elephant," she answered.
Not bad, considering that it is only a very small portion of an elephant
—and not a real one at that. Then I showed her this one:
"Whassat?"
"A lion."
Well, pretty impressive, I had to admit. So this next one shouldn't be
any problem at all, right?
To my surprise, she had to think about this one for a while, and then,
quite tentatively, she offered the following answer: "A camel?"
A camel? A camel?! A camel???
Well, don't ask me...I still haven't got the slightest idea about this one.
发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: MiddleSchool
标 题: 重大科研成果公告（关于骆驼问题）
关键字: 骆驼
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Wed Oct 27 21:31:38 2010, 美东)
Remember this poor lady whom my little daughter insisted on calling
a camel for some mysterious reason?
http://www.mitbbs.com/article_t/MiddleSchool/31320991.html
Well, as it turned out, my little munchkin was not really talking about
the lady at all.
How did I find that out? Through good old-fashion scientific
observations, of course; the same way how Jane Goodall figured
out that chimpanzees do indeed express emotions among themselves.
Last night, we—she and I, that is—were sitting in the couch in my
bedroom and browsing through her baby pictures, which were taken,
you know, like a whole life time ago, when she suddenly turned up
her face and asked: "Daddy, [may] I hold the camel?"
"What camel?" was my natural response.
"The camel. Your camel. I'll show you."
With that, she climbed down from the couch, danced her way to the
dresser, and pointed to the top with a tiny finger: "There, camel."
I looked over, and sure enough, there it sits, nice and quiet and regal
like a real camel after a day's work—my camera.
So, there...mystery solved. :-) | N****f
发帖数: 25759 | 4 发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: MiddleSchool
标 题: Whassat?
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Mon Oct 11 02:54:05 2010, 美东)
"Whassat?" (Translation: "What's that?")
An innocent enough question, wouldn't you say? I mean, what
could be easier to handle than a wide-eyed little munchkin
pointing at a strange animal covered with black and white stripes
on the TV screen and asking: "Whassat"? Right?
Well, if you happen to be dealing with one particular angel-faced
munchkin who resides in my household, things may not be that
simple. Now, in case you'll ever be confronted with her unique
brand of "whassat," please let this veteran daughterologist share
with you some hard-learned lessons resulting from two and a
half years of diligent studies.
The very first thing you need to do upon hearing that question,
mind you, is to focus your attention on the index finger of her
right hand. If that finger is sticking out and lined up with an
object, congratulate yourself. The question is a piece of cake
in that context, and all you need to do is to provide the correct
name for that object. Even if you have no idea what that object
is called, you can always get away by telling her that it is, in fact,
a gabligoodock of the blabbovaslope variety. That will buy you
enough time to seek the necessary help from Google and
Wikipedia, because she will not be able to remember those long,
scientific-sounding words, and will inevitably have to ask you
again the next time she sees the same object.
If, on the other hand, that index finger is not on prominent display,
sorry, you are in for some real intellectual challenges, because that
means she is referring not to something she sees but to something
she hears, or heard a little while ago. That, of course, is much more
difficult to figure out, and the subsequent conversation usually
evolves into a series of trials and errors:
"You mean the 'meow' sound?"
"Whassat?" With her, incorrect answers simply get ignored.
"You mean the 'bzzzz' sound?"
"Whassat?!" She usually gets a little impatient if she has to repeat
the question for a third time. Who can blame her?
"Your brother groaning when he got killed in the video game?"
"WHASSAT?!?!?!"
"An airplane passing overhead?"
"Yay! An airplane!"
Oh, did I mention that, when she asks the question in that context
these days, nine times out of ten she knows exactly what the
answer is supposed to be?
Unfortunately, there are occasions when that same question gets
even more taxing on your intelligence and/or imagination, and
when that happens, I can only wish you luck. For example, about
an hour ago, right before she went to bed, my daughter put her
favorite little blanket on her shoulders, stuck out both arms, and
asked, quite innocently: "Whassat?"
It took me several minutes and more than 20 tries, but I finally
succeeded in getting the correct answer out of her: "I'm a butterfly!"
Yes, of course, indeed…who wouldn't know that? | N****f
发帖数: 25759 | 5 【 以下文字转载自 Mississippi 讨论区 】
发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: Mississippi
标 题: Kids Say the Darndest Things
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Sun Aug 15 02:54:36 2010, 美东)
When you are two years and four months old, evolution evidently
works at a head-spinning pace. Back in early July, my little
daughter was still speaking a unique language comprehensible
only to herself and a select few of professionally trained linguists,
such as Paopao, as all of you who took the quiz at the time will
recall. Now, just one month later, she is frequently engaged in
fully interactive—albeit rather basic—conversations in fairly
acceptable English. Other than her insistence on pronouncing
the word "like" as "yike" and "hello" as "hiyo," I have to admit
that her English is quite a bit better than mine—when I was her
age, that is.
Anyway, each day in the morning, just before I head out to work,
she and I usually perform a three-hugs-and-nine-kisses ritual
together, and failure to complete the prescribed routine on my
part would typically result in a fit of ear-piercing screams that
would deafen the entire neighborhood for hours. Then one
morning, I came downstairs to find her completely mesmerized
by a new puzzle game. When I offered to initiate the ritual,
amazingly, she simply neglected to respond. After a persistent
effort, I finally got a response from her, but it was definitely not
the right kind as specified in the official guidelines. Without
looking up from the puzzle pieces in her hands, that angelic
little face blurted out a terse reply that decisively ended all
further discussion on that issue: "I'm busy."
That, of course, was that.
One sure thing about these sometimes unconscionable, often
pesky, but always lovely little creatures is that they learn
something new every time you speak to them, or just in their
presence, and they take it all in like a bone-dry sponge. One
fine Sunday morning, after dropping off my son at his tennis
lesson, I was driving home with my daughter strapped in the
baby car seat when some imbecile suddenly changed lane
without looking and pulled right in front of me. I had to slam
on the brake pedal to avoid a collision. Then, before I had a
chance to let loose a string of choice words that I would
definitely not mention here in polite company, I heard this
soft little voice gently floating over from behind: "Stuuuuupid."
To say she is opinionated would be an understatement, but to
say that she is not all that demanding would be the
understatement of the year. One hot and particularly humid
evening during our recent trip to Miami, we were just getting
seated in a nice little Cuban restaurant in Little Havana, and
my daughter suddenly announced from her lofty perch in a
highchair, to the utter astonishment of nearly everybody within
earshot: "I wanna beer; gimme a beer." It took me quite a while
to convince the dumbfounded hostess that all she was asking
for was, in fact, a bear-shaped animal cracker. | s*****l
发帖数: 2242 | 6 真真的小可爱
【在 N****f 的大作中提到】
: 【 以下文字转载自 Mississippi 讨论区 】
: 发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: Mississippi
: 标 题: Kids Say the Darndest Things
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Sun Aug 15 02:54:36 2010, 美东)
: When you are two years and four months old, evolution evidently
: works at a head-spinning pace. Back in early July, my little
: daughter was still speaking a unique language comprehensible
: only to herself and a select few of professionally trained linguists,
: such as Paopao, as all of you who took the quiz at the time will
: recall. Now, just one month later, she is frequently engaged in
| l*****d
发帖数: 1091 | 7 欢喜冤家 ：）
this sentence makes me laugh:
It was getting late, and I had important articles to read
on MITBBS.
【在 N****f 的大作中提到】
: 发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: MiddleSchool
: 标 题: Whassat?
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Mon Oct 11 02:54:05 2010, 美东)
: "Whassat?" (Translation: "What's that?")
: An innocent enough question, wouldn't you say? I mean, what
: could be easier to handle than a wide-eyed little munchkin
: pointing at a strange animal covered with black and white stripes
: on the TV screen and asking: "Whassat"? Right?
: Well, if you happen to be dealing with one particular angel-faced
: munchkin who resides in my household, things may not be that
| G*********o
发帖数: 49669 | 8 呼唤中文摘要
【 以下文字转载自 MiddleSchool 讨论区 】
发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: MiddleSchool
标 题: The Toddler Strikes Back
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Nov 11 02:57:57 2010, 美东)
Remember how my daughter got completely outsmarted by this
well educated and highly skilled intellectual when she tried to lie
about defacing a book? Well, tonight, she managed to extract a
bit of a sweet little revenge.
About two hours ago, I was putting her through her pre-bedtime
routine—you know, brushing teeth, washing face, etc.—when she
pointed at her little plastic bathtub lying inside the main tub and
declared: "I wanna take a bath."
An innocent enough request, one would say, except that with her,
a bath is never as simple a matter as it sounds like. Instead, it
usually involved a rubber ducky, two plastic bottles, several colorful
toy fish, an array of other waterproof toys, and at least 30-40 minutes
of quality playing time before she would consider the bath properly
completed. It was getting late, and I had important articles to read
on MITBBS. So I told her: "Let's do that tomorrow. It's too late and
too cold now."
Reluctantly, she let me run her through the process and tuck her in
bed. A couple of Dr. Seuss books and more than a hundred gentle
pats on the back later, she finally looked ready to dose off, and I
decided to take a shower and get comfy myself.
When I came back from the bathroom, I was surprised to see her
sitting in bed and checking me out with sleepy eyes.
"Daddy, what'ya doing?" she asked.
"Nothing," I said. "I was just taking a shower."
She put on the most complex expression I had ever seen on her little
face, looking partly puzzled, partly inquisitive, partly thoughtful, partly
amused—and maybe even a little sarcastic, I could swear.
"Is it too late and too cold?" she commented, oh-so innocently.
Ouch…checkmate—in the hands of a 2.5-year-old! :-)
【在 N****f 的大作中提到】
: 【 以下文字转载自 Mississippi 讨论区 】
: 发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: Mississippi
: 标 题: Kids Say the Darndest Things
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Sun Aug 15 02:54:36 2010, 美东)
: When you are two years and four months old, evolution evidently
: works at a head-spinning pace. Back in early July, my little
: daughter was still speaking a unique language comprehensible
: only to herself and a select few of professionally trained linguists,
: such as Paopao, as all of you who took the quiz at the time will
: recall. Now, just one month later, she is frequently engaged in
| N****f
发帖数: 25759 | 9 I think I'll tentatively agree with that, pending further observations
over the next 15.5 years.
【在 s*****l 的大作中提到】
: 真真的小可爱
| N****f
发帖数: 25759 | 10 What could possibly be more important in life than that? :-)
【在 l*****d 的大作中提到】
: 欢喜冤家 ：）
: this sentence makes me laugh:
: It was getting late, and I had important articles to read
: on MITBBS.
| | | N****f
发帖数: 25759 | 11 Patience, patience; it's coming in due course...in a decade or two. :-)
【在 G*********o 的大作中提到】
: 呼唤中文摘要
:
: 【 以下文字转载自 MiddleSchool 讨论区 】
: 发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: MiddleSchool
: 标 题: The Toddler Strikes Back
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Nov 11 02:57:57 2010, 美东)
: Remember how my daughter got completely outsmarted by this
: well educated and highly skilled intellectual when she tried to lie
: about defacing a book? Well, tonight, she managed to extract a
: bit of a sweet little revenge.
| A*********e
发帖数: 4361 | 12 CO-
【在 G*********o 的大作中提到】
: 呼唤中文摘要
:
: 【 以下文字转载自 MiddleSchool 讨论区 】
: 发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: MiddleSchool
: 标 题: The Toddler Strikes Back
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Nov 11 02:57:57 2010, 美东)
: Remember how my daughter got completely outsmarted by this
: well educated and highly skilled intellectual when she tried to lie
: about defacing a book? Well, tonight, she managed to extract a
: bit of a sweet little revenge.
| r********n
发帖数: 2206 | 13 LOL~~
kids are getting smarter and smarter these days :-)
【在 N****f 的大作中提到】
: 【 以下文字转载自 Mississippi 讨论区 】
: 发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: Mississippi
: 标 题: Kids Say the Darndest Things
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Sun Aug 15 02:54:36 2010, 美东)
: When you are two years and four months old, evolution evidently
: works at a head-spinning pace. Back in early July, my little
: daughter was still speaking a unique language comprehensible
: only to herself and a select few of professionally trained linguists,
: such as Paopao, as all of you who took the quiz at the time will
: recall. Now, just one month later, she is frequently engaged in
| m*******o
发帖数: 4113 | 14 keep her at this age forever
【在 N****f 的大作中提到】
: I think I'll tentatively agree with that, pending further observations
: over the next 15.5 years.
| G*********o
发帖数: 49669 | 15 啊，等不及了呀
Patience, patience; it's coming in due course...in a decade or two. :-)
【在 N****f 的大作中提到】
: Patience, patience; it's coming in due course...in a decade or two. :-)
| N****f
发帖数: 25759 | 16 Boy, wouldn't that be fantastic! :-)
【在 m*******o 的大作中提到】
: keep her at this age forever
| s******e
发帖数: 16668 | 17 I would be jealous to death...
Lucky %$#@@ NWWOLF...
【在 m*******o 的大作中提到】
: keep her at this age forever
| m*******o
发帖数: 4113 | | N****f
发帖数: 25759 | 19 LOL
—Maomaopao
Good one!
—Maopaopao
Ditto!
—Paopaomao
Hahahaha
—Paomaomao
【在 m*******o 的大作中提到】
: make your own
| c******g
发帖数: 19294 | 20 ni you ai shang ta le
【在 N****f 的大作中提到】
: LOL
: —Maomaopao
: Good one!
: —Maopaopao
: Ditto!
: —Paopaomao
: Hahahaha
: —Paomaomao
| | | G*********o
发帖数: 49669 | 21 hilarious！
－maopaopao
LOL
—Maomaopao
Good one!
—Maopaopao
Ditto!
—Paopaomao
Hahahaha
—Paomaomao
【在 N****f 的大作中提到】
: LOL
: —Maomaopao
: Good one!
: —Maopaopao
: Ditto!
: —Paopaomao
: Hahahaha
: —Paomaomao
| G*********o
发帖数: 49669 | 22 以前就爱上了？
ni you ai shang ta le
【在 c******g 的大作中提到】
: ni you ai shang ta le
| c******g
发帖数: 19294 | 23 meiyou?
【在 G*********o 的大作中提到】
: 以前就爱上了？
:
: ni you ai shang ta le
| G****A
发帖数: 1430 | 24 呵呵，好可爱
【在 N****f 的大作中提到】
: 发信人: NWWolf (西北の狼), 信区: MiddleSchool
: 标 题: Whassat?
: 发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Mon Oct 11 02:54:05 2010, 美东)
: "Whassat?" (Translation: "What's that?")
: An innocent enough question, wouldn't you say? I mean, what
: could be easier to handle than a wide-eyed little munchkin
: pointing at a strange animal covered with black and white stripes
: on the TV screen and asking: "Whassat"? Right?
: Well, if you happen to be dealing with one particular angel-faced
: munchkin who resides in my household, things may not be that
| N****f
发帖数: 25759 | 25 Thanks! I thought so, too. :-)
【在 G****A 的大作中提到】
: 呵呵，好可爱
|
|
