d**n
发帖数: 3172 | 1 前几天WSJ爽了一把，现在NYT再搞个another side of story, 自己连死亡威胁都抖出
来了，美国左右两大报玩弄于股掌之间，书卖到这个份上，只能匍匐在地了。orz.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/16/fashion/16Cultural.html | B******e
发帖数: 5730 | 2 她那一套倒像是 jewish mothers 对小孩的方法
这对国仇家恨的 jews 来说是必须的
author 嫁给米犹，脑袋也变了 | M*****8
发帖数: 17722 | | d**n
发帖数: 3172 | 4 http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/18/opinion/18brooks.html
OP-ED COLUMNIST
Amy Chua Is a Wimp
By DAVID BROOKS
Published: January 17, 2011
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Sometime early last week, a large slice of educated America decided that Amy
Chua is a menace to society. Chua, as you probably know, is the Yale
professor who has written a bracing critique of what she considers the weak,
cuddling American parenting style.
Josh Haner/The New York Times
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Chua didn’t let her own girls go out on play dates or sleepovers. She didn
’t let them watch TV or play video games or take part in garbage activities
like crafts. Once, one of her daughters came in second to a Korean kid in a
math competition, so Chua made the girl do 2,000 math problems a night
until she regained her supremacy. Once, her daughters gave her birthday
cards of insufficient quality. Chua rejected them and demanded new cards.
Once, she threatened to burn all of one of her daughter’s stuffed animals
unless she played a piece of music perfectly.
As a result, Chua’s daughters get straight As and have won a series of
musical competitions.
In her book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” Chua delivers a broadside
against American parenting even as she mocks herself for her own extreme “
Chinese” style. She says American parents lack authority and produce
entitled children who aren’t forced to live up to their abilities.
The furious denunciations began flooding my in-box a week ago. Chua plays
into America’s fear of national decline. Here’s a Chinese parent working
really hard (and, by the way, there are a billion more of her) and her kids
are going to crush ours. Furthermore (and this Chua doesn’t appreciate),
she is not really rebelling against American-style parenting; she is the
logical extension of the prevailing elite practices. She does everything
over-pressuring upper-middle-class parents are doing. She’s just hard core.
Her critics echoed the familiar themes. Her kids can’t possibly be happy or
truly creative. They’ll grow up skilled and compliant but without the
audacity to be great. She’s destroying their love for music. There’s a
reason Asian-American women between the ages of 15 and 24 have such high
suicide rates.
I have the opposite problem with Chua. I believe she’s coddling her
children. She’s protecting them from the most intellectually demanding
activities because she doesn’t understand what’s cognitively difficult and
what isn’t.
Practicing a piece of music for four hours requires focused attention, but
it is nowhere near as cognitively demanding as a sleepover with 14-year-old
girls. Managing status rivalries, negotiating group dynamics, understanding
social norms, navigating the distinction between self and group — these and
other social tests impose cognitive demands that blow away any intense
tutoring session or a class at Yale.
Yet mastering these arduous skills is at the very essence of achievement.
Most people work in groups. We do this because groups are much more
efficient at solving problems than individuals (swimmers are often motivated
to have their best times as part of relay teams, not in individual events).
Moreover, the performance of a group does not correlate well with the
average I.Q. of the group or even with the I.Q.’s of the smartest members.
Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Carnegie Mellon
have found that groups have a high collective intelligence when members of
a group are good at reading each others’ emotions — when they take turns
speaking, when the inputs from each member are managed fluidly, when they
detect each others’ inclinations and strengths.
Participating in a well-functioning group is really hard. It requires the
ability to trust people outside your kinship circle, read intonations and
moods, understand how the psychological pieces each person brings to the
room can and cannot fit together.
This skill set is not taught formally, but it is imparted through arduous
experiences. These are exactly the kinds of difficult experiences Chua
shelters her children from by making them rush home to hit the homework
table.
Chua would do better to see the classroom as a cognitive break from the
truly arduous tests of childhood. Where do they learn how to manage people?
Where do they learn to construct and manipulate metaphors? Where do they
learn to perceive details of a scene the way a hunter reads a landscape?
Where do they learn how to detect their own shortcomings? Where do they
learn how to put themselves in others’ minds and anticipate others’
reactions?
These and a million other skills are imparted by the informal maturity
process and are not developed if formal learning monopolizes a child’s time.
So I’m not against the way Chua pushes her daughters. And I loved her book
as a courageous and thought-provoking read. It’s also more supple than her
critics let on. I just wish she wasn’t so soft and indulgent. I wish she
recognized that in some important ways the school cafeteria is more
intellectually demanding than the library. And I hope her daughters grow up
to write their own books, and maybe learn the skills to better anticipate
how theirs will be received. | h*****s
发帖数: 821 | 5 她那种生活太恐怖了,不让人活了.
【在 d**n 的大作中提到】
: 前几天WSJ爽了一把，现在NYT再搞个another side of story, 自己连死亡威胁都抖出
: 来了，美国左右两大报玩弄于股掌之间，书卖到这个份上，只能匍匐在地了。orz.
: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/16/fashion/16Cultural.html
| d**n
发帖数: 3172 | 6 洪晃在the dailybeast上插了一杠子。
The Beijing Backlash Over Crazy Chinese Moms
by Huang Hung
Amy Chua's parenting techniques say a lot about a Chinese culture that
glorifies suffering, lacks individual rights, and tells mothers they're only
as good as their kids.
I was dumbfounded when I read “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior,” an
excerpt of Amy Chua’s book published in the Wall Street Journal one week
ago in which she details some of her draconian methods of child rearing. I
have to say none of the Chinese mothers I know in China behave that way. Ms.
Chua, a law professor from Connecticut with two daughters, is quite alone
in believing her superiority.
Still, I can think of three reasons why Chinese mothers get away with mother
-from-hell behavior:
iStockphoto
1. Traditional China values women by the children they raise. Muyizigui is
an age-old Chinese saying that means a mother is only worth as much as her
son. This must have made things even worse back when polygamy was permitted
in China, until 1949. One can imagine all the determined wives competing
with each other through their children.
2. The glorification of suffering. This is not unique to Chinese mothers or
Chinese culture, but Chinese do believe “eating bitterness” is necessary
and vital in order to achieve success. Passion and enjoyment are irrelevant.
Chinese wear their pain as a war veteran wears his medals. As Ms. Chua has
made clear, suffering earns one bragging rights. It would be totally
pointless if Ms. Chua's daughters actually enjoyed playing the musical
instruments she has them practice day in and day out.
3. The Chinese, as a people, were deprived of individual rights. Since the
individual rights of parents are not guaranteed, it is natural that parents
would see fit to deprive their children of the same. Success means one can
impose one’s will on others.
• Lisa Miller: Amy Chua Talks about Her Controversial BookDespite
these three deeply rooted bits of cultural heritage, however, most Chinese
mothers have adopted a more enlightened mindset in bringing up their
children. To make sure I wasn't mistaken about this, I posted a synopsis of
Ms. Chua’s article on my Weibo (the Chinese version of Twitter.)
Immediately, hundreds of people responded. While many confirmed my belief,
quite a few of the responses came from young people claiming that they were
treated the same way Ms. Chua treats her daughters. All of them claimed to
be unhappy as children; none of them expressed any gratitude toward their
parents.
There were also quite a few angry responses from local Chinese moms.
“Now the term 'Chinese Mother' is notorious abroad,” reads one Weibo
comment. “I resent that deeply. I am a Chinese mother who is enlighted and
puts my child’s happiness before anything.”
It is ironic that as young Chinese mothers in Beijing and Shanghai are
embracing more enlighted Western ideas about child raising, mothers from
Connecticut are sinking deeper into China’s darker past in child rearing.
Huang Hung is a columnist for China Daily, the English language newspaper in
China. She is also an avid blogger with more than 100 million page views on
her blog on sina.com. | d**n
发帖数: 3172 | |
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