c****2
发帖数: 3640 | 1 请我吃晚饭，邀我看电影，我说寒假没事干又让我去她家玩。喜欢和我勾肩搭背，喜欢
带我去购物。每次见到她都面带笑容，眼神纯净，如她的名字一般。
每次去餐厅都会把所有菜谱给我解释一遍，每次听不懂别人的笑话都会给我讲解一遍，
鼓励我的英语水平，鼓励我的学习能力。每次有party都会开车载我，有心事信任我，
只和我说，并且让我不要告诉别人。
facebook上不写interested in，照片里面只有自拍，family和女性朋友/同学。
可是，有时候吃饭的时候也会叫上其他同学（我如果喜欢一个人不会叫上灯泡），也会
讨论结婚和小孩。周四放big bang theory的时候会急匆匆想回宿舍看电视，只载我随
便吃两口，然后把我扔回学校再回家（我喜欢一个人会愿意多相处一段时间）。很酷，
经常不回email不回短信，也不见得关心我（我喜欢一个人会很热情）。正宗的基督教
徒，吃饭前默默祷告的神态让人觉得很平静，觉得整个世界都很安宁。
所以她并不喜欢我，是啊，我有什么值得别人喜欢的呢，刚来美国，一穷二白，文化差
异，话也说不溜。可是初来乍到，既没有亲人也没有真正意义上的朋友，在村里生活有
时候会很孤单，突然有一个人对你很好，各方面都很优秀，刚好又是女生。。。让我怎
样可以淡定，可以不胡思乱想？
我曾经问过她，是不是基督徒对每个人都这么好？她正在专心开车，前面路很暗，于是
一边身体使劲向前凑打探方向，一边告诉我她正在找路，直接把问题pass了，我也不好
意思再问，可是我真的很想知道答案。我试图通过各种方法转移自己的视线和大脑，让
自己以正常的朋友心态面对她，可是很难。如果她知道我是gay，可能就会对我收敛一
些了吧。
我决定尽量避开她。逃课，不参加协会组织的演讲活动（少一顿免费午餐啊哎），她参
加的party一律不去。可是刚才收到她的email，告诉我她父母希望她回家的时候一起去
她grandma家，问我是愿意呆在她的家乡还是她grandma家，让我选择。才想起来当初答
应了去她家玩一周，车上还得一起呆8个小时，想拒绝，可是寒假又确实没什么事干，
其他同学大多回国了，也没有车蹭，很不方便（觉得自己越来越猥琐了。。。）不知道
怎么办了。
终于明白了来美国也不代表可以过自己想要的生活，至少忘记了还有“找到生活对象”
这一必要条件。哪怕按照乐观的4%的人群比例来算，还是mission impossible，看不到
希望。一直习惯于分析寻找事情的解决方案，虽说出国这样的方案可能是错误解，但像
现在这样无解的状态还从来没有遇到过。折磨啊折磨，这件事憋了很久无人诉说，几乎
内伤，睡不着，还是找个人少的地方写一写，发泄一下吧。 | b******3
发帖数: 623 | 2 睡前一顶~
这种文字啊，读起来好亲切好情切~~~ | e***h
发帖数: 2791 | 3 你的这个她是美国人吧,美国小孩一般不会跟同性勾肩搭背的太过严重像中国小女生那
样 | c*****e
发帖数: 2073 | 4 First off, your still experiencing so called culture shocks, and inclining
toward ppl around you. She just happens to be the one close to you now.
Those things you mentioned doing together are the common things me and my
besties, guys or gals, usually doing.
There is a cure. Let your feeling about her go, heal yourself, and go out
have a life. Eventually you will find someone who will not only return your
feelings but who will treasure you. You can live without her. It may not
feel like it at first...but you have already been. If you want to keep the
distances try to stick to your words. It will help with feelings for her to
subside. It's an inner battle. Chin up, it will hurt for a while, but moving
on will hurt you much less in the long run then holding out for someone who
doesn't return your feelings and doesn't appear to have romantic feelings
for you at all.
If I sound rude or harsh that isn't my intention, I'm laying the facts as I
see them out for you to also see them. I hope this work out for you.
P.S. If you really wanna know how she feels, stop guessing, GO ASK HER. | B****g
发帖数: 77 | 5 樓主發過Christian帖嘛。我貼過一個視頻的鏈接，看一下，樓主會對Christianity和
gay的態度有更深入的了解。所以沒關系，不要因為她是Christian就縮手縮腳。
另外，即便是gay，同性之間依然可以做朋友啊。樓主可以先穩住，繼續做朋友，以后
有機會了再說。不過樓主穩不住的話，來個強吻神馬的。大不了以后道歉。
加油加油！ | s********e
发帖数: 215 | 6 嗯 放轻松点
你和她一起相处 开心自然就好
先别想那么多 | l**********n
发帖数: 2810 | 7 谢天谢地，当年俺来美国的时候没经历啥culture shock~~
your
to
moving
【在 c*****e 的大作中提到】
: First off, your still experiencing so called culture shocks, and inclining
: toward ppl around you. She just happens to be the one close to you now.
: Those things you mentioned doing together are the common things me and my
: besties, guys or gals, usually doing.
: There is a cure. Let your feeling about her go, heal yourself, and go out
: have a life. Eventually you will find someone who will not only return your
: feelings but who will treasure you. You can live without her. It may not
: feel like it at first...but you have already been. If you want to keep the
: distances try to stick to your words. It will help with feelings for her to
: subside. It's an inner battle. Chin up, it will hurt for a while, but moving
| c****2
发帖数: 3640 | 8 谢谢。我确实很好奇美国人对待朋友的尺度，鉴于阁下的英语水平（有压力，都不敢回
了）我相信这些应该就是common things，是我误解了，或者说自作多情了，sigh...话
说我找了很多借口拒绝去她家，甚至买好了去扭腰的来回机票，结果还是失败了。
来BBS上面发泄一下感觉好多了~~有同类，有归属感，还有很好的建议。我应该早点来
的，nip it in the bud~~现在让我再逆向把人家当朋友看，还是有一定难度系数的，
至于强吻什么的，我应该做梦都不敢的。Christian的视频我也看了，看完觉得要come
out可能比国内承受的压力还大，bible里面肯定有提这是abomination了，所以更不可
能了。其实在我终于愿意认同并且面对自己的性取向之后，每次听别人聊结婚聊孩子聊
感情聊家庭都有一种莫名的绝望，不知道是不是自己太脆弱了。
btw what does ppl mean?
再btw 我想把这篇毁尸灭迹啊怎样删除？为什么听说成保留文章了。。。
your
to
moving
【在 c*****e 的大作中提到】
: First off, your still experiencing so called culture shocks, and inclining
: toward ppl around you. She just happens to be the one close to you now.
: Those things you mentioned doing together are the common things me and my
: besties, guys or gals, usually doing.
: There is a cure. Let your feeling about her go, heal yourself, and go out
: have a life. Eventually you will find someone who will not only return your
: feelings but who will treasure you. You can live without her. It may not
: feel like it at first...but you have already been. If you want to keep the
: distances try to stick to your words. It will help with feelings for her to
: subside. It's an inner battle. Chin up, it will hurt for a while, but moving
| e*******e
发帖数: 6165 | | e*******e
发帖数: 6165 | 10 点帖子上面的删除 （你是在web下吗）
mark了也可以删的，唯一就是发你的包子就飞了 | c*****e
发帖数: 2073 | 11 个人观点来说，不能用一个标准概括美国人对周围朋友的尺度。有些人也许介意肢体接
触，也有人无所谓；有人很private,也有人什么都share；有人喜欢距离对方很近说话
，也有人喜欢保持点距离……所以真的要看各人情况。如果你真的不确定她对你的感觉
，我的建议是找个合适的时机直接问她。我们都没有直接接触过你和她，所以给出的看
法更不能代表你们自己。不想口头说出来，写出来也可以啊。省得猜来猜去，当然最好
做好各种心理准备。
关于Bible和abomination的问题，我在以前的提到过，再写一次。
Leviticus, Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is
abomination. But Leviticus also mentions that "children who talk back to
their parents, people who touch the skin of dead pigs, and people who wear
clothing of two different fabrics should be put to death. Why people don't
take these words seriously??
"A new commandment that I give unto you; that you love one another."
"He who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone."
Jesus: Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are
the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are those who have been
persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of
heaven.
Also, Romans 8:38-39, "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor
angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor
powers,nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to
separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Ephesians 3:17-19 "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love
, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long
and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that
surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the
fullness of God."
In Christian, Jesus never mentions homosexuality at all, never mind condemns
it. Jesus said that God is existence, God is love. And I believe that if we
love and honor our partners, we’ll be righteous in the eyes of God, not
abominations.
Jesus would be ashamed of people for judging and pointing fingers at others.
曾经版上别人的贴，个人觉得很不错，再分享一次。希望对你的困惑有所帮助 ^.^
http://www.mitbbs.com/article_t/LES/277907.html
P.S. 计划回全中文贴，唉～没本事翻译圣经呀
come
【在 c****2 的大作中提到】
: 谢谢。我确实很好奇美国人对待朋友的尺度，鉴于阁下的英语水平（有压力，都不敢回
: 了）我相信这些应该就是common things，是我误解了，或者说自作多情了，sigh...话
: 说我找了很多借口拒绝去她家，甚至买好了去扭腰的来回机票，结果还是失败了。
: 来BBS上面发泄一下感觉好多了~~有同类，有归属感，还有很好的建议。我应该早点来
: 的，nip it in the bud~~现在让我再逆向把人家当朋友看，还是有一定难度系数的，
: 至于强吻什么的，我应该做梦都不敢的。Christian的视频我也看了，看完觉得要come
: out可能比国内承受的压力还大，bible里面肯定有提这是abomination了，所以更不可
: 能了。其实在我终于愿意认同并且面对自己的性取向之后，每次听别人聊结婚聊孩子聊
: 感情聊家庭都有一种莫名的绝望，不知道是不是自己太脆弱了。
: btw what does ppl mean?
| e***h
发帖数: 2791 | 12 认真地小妞又发英文贴。。嗯。上面写的很好。
【在 c*****e 的大作中提到】
: 个人观点来说，不能用一个标准概括美国人对周围朋友的尺度。有些人也许介意肢体接
: 触，也有人无所谓；有人很private,也有人什么都share；有人喜欢距离对方很近说话
: ，也有人喜欢保持点距离……所以真的要看各人情况。如果你真的不确定她对你的感觉
: ，我的建议是找个合适的时机直接问她。我们都没有直接接触过你和她，所以给出的看
: 法更不能代表你们自己。不想口头说出来，写出来也可以啊。省得猜来猜去，当然最好
: 做好各种心理准备。
: 关于Bible和abomination的问题，我在以前的提到过，再写一次。
: Leviticus, Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is
: abomination. But Leviticus also mentions that "children who talk back to
: their parents, people who touch the skin of dead pigs, and people who wear
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